Well hello there and welcome to /fic/. Why am I welcoming you? I have no idea, considering I've not been active in the MLP fanfiction community for… well, forever, in fandom years.
My name is Umbra, and once upon a time, I raped the souls of authors treading on this blessed ground.
Just kidding, I'm only half that conceited. What I'm really trying to say is that I rather enjoy reading and reviewing, and I've been known to provide decent advice from time to time.
Those of you more familiar with me will also know that I am inconsistent as balls. I will not try to make a secret of the fact that I've been known to start a thread, disappear for months at a time, and generally drop off the map at random for entirely unknown reasons. I won't bore you with those reasons, because they're really no excuse. But I tell you this as a warning: I start review threads during certain periods in my life when I believe I'll have the time, and I do my absolute best to churn out reviews.
VERY CLEAR, however, I WANT TO BE (also Yoda), if you ask me to review something, please post knowing full well that I may never get to your story. I want to help this community because I truly love MLP fanfiction, but I have many other responsibilities in my life. This time I have a few failsafes that I hope will prevent us from reaching a point of implosion, so I'm confident we'll at least be able to keep the thread running for a while, but I can in no way guarantee continuity. That being the case, if you are posting a story in my thread, I have no problem with you posting in other review threads. In fact, so long as the other reviewer is okay with it, I would encourage that. Just make sure we each have a clean document to work on.
Without further ado, here we go with a few rules:Rulez
1) No grammar editing. It kills me to do this because I know technical editing is extremely important, but that’s part of what destroyed my thread in the past. I’ll provide phrasing assistance if I notice any grave issues, and I’ll absolutely provide general plot suggestions, but intense technically editing is unfortunately too much for my schedule.
2) No word counts above 12,000. This number will allow for most one-shots and some of the longer chapters of ongoing stories. If, however, you’d like me to review a longer story, I’ll review until the 12,000 word mark, at which point you’re welcome to enter the next portion in the review rotation. I set this limit so that I can constantly cycle through stories and make sure everyone gets feedback as quickly as possible.
3) I have no restrictions on content. If, however, you would like to submit a story that falls into the “mature” category, please email the title, tags and link here: [email protected]
and I’ll enter it into the queue.
4) I review in a style that I refer to as “Hardcore,” based on Vimbert’s Vindictive reviews. I do this because I believe a tough love approach to writing is the best one. Why? Let’s be honest: writers can be pretty damn arrogant, and I am in no way an exception. There were times when I was ludicrously outraged by an Equestria Daily rejection letter, only to realize after careful discussion with friends that my rejection was completely justified.
In my reviews, I will rip your soul out because you need it to be ripped out, just like I do. That’s the same reason that my private editors have no problem being brutally honest about flaws in my stories.
Poor phrasing? Hardcore comment.
Incoherent plot? Ultra-Hardcore comment.
Horrifying character development? Prepare your butthole.
I used to offer a choice between “ordinary” and Hardcore reviews, but now I don’t really see the point in doing that. And so if you post a story here, fully expect me to treat you like a murderer in response to any affront to the English language.
The flipside of this? If you produce an excellent story, I will not stop raving about you. When I’ve really enjoyed stories in the past, I’ve written entire posts dedicated to praising the author and everything they had done. That’s because I really do want you to write well. I may be an asshole while reviewing, but in reality I’m actually a decent person. I like puppies and mud pits, just like you.
5) Google Documents only please, with comments turned on. No FimFiction, no FanFiction.net.
6) Lastly, please be respectful to others at all times. This rule applies to me as well. Even if I am reviewing the everloving SHIT out of your story, I will never criticize you as a person unless you’ve given me a reason to (flagrant disregard for /fic/’s rules, for example). If you have major flaws within your story, expect me to be excruciatingly harsh on them, but also know that I will never be discourteous toward you as a person.
Alright, I think that covers just about everything.
Hugs and kisses, let’s do this.
This post was edited by its author on .