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Golden Vision Reviews — Now 20% Wibbly-Wobblier! 652[View All]


Greetings! Fancy a jelly baby?

My name is Golden Vision. Some of you might remember me as That Guy Who's Obsessed With Doctor Whooves. I've been around the /fic/ block since about February, and I've like to think that I've gotten to know a little bit about reviewing in that time.

So! This is my third review thread. Now, I'm an author, and so I like to think that I bring my own—usually somewhat sympathetic—perspective to reviewing, and I can't think of a greater feeling than seeing a somewhat shoddy fic eventually shine on EqD or the fimfic Featured Box, knowing that I helped put it there. So I really do want to help you out.

I specialize in…nothing much, really. For characterization, plot, ,worldbuilding, and all of the other little details that go into making a story, I'm your guy. That said, I'm changing some things with this here review thread.

Too often, I feel as though I'm giving a cookie-cutter review. "Too much LUS" (Lavender Unicorn Syndrome), I'll say, or "Needs more Showing, and less Telling." If I even start talking about tense issues or punctuation errors, then clearly something's gone terribly wrong. I feel like I'm doing the author, myself, and those still waiting in my queue a disservice by rewriting a review that I could have given out by copy/pasting from one that I did two days previously.

So here's what's going to happen.

I want to be a reviewer, not a grammarbot. I believe firmly that anyone who cares enough to write their own story should care enough to give it a cursory edit themselves. Therefore, I've provided a collection of prewritten, basic guides to techniques of writing below this OP. Such hits as Ezn's Guide and the Prereader's Omnibus should be familiar to you.

Now, I really want to review stories—that is, plot, characters, setting—all that good stuff. However, if it's clear that you made no effort to make your story readable, then you can go to the back of the line. I reserve the right to reject your story out of hand if it has (consistent) problems with:

1. Lavender Unicorn Syndrome (LUS)
2. (Bad) Show, Don't Tell (SDT)
3. Grammar Mistakes
4. Misspelling
5. Crappy Formatting
6. Purple Prose
7. Mary Sue-ness
8. Talking Heads Syndrome (Lack of Body Language)

Let nobody say, though, that I'm an unfair guy. If you're really having trouble with any of these concepts, then feel free to schedule a chat with me on your writing through my email: [email protected] I'd be more than willing to take the time to go over it with you.

Please note that I do have a queue. You can find the submission form at:

And the queue itself at:

Please note that you are required to request a review in this thread as well as submitting your story into my queue. Failure to do either will result in a rejection of your story from consideration, until further notice.

I will also require a Google Docs version of the fic in question, with comments enabled. Please note that, firstly, I do not review crackfics, and secondly, that multi-chapter stories are welcome (there is no absolute word limit), but I reserve the right to go chapter by chapter on your fic, stretching it out across reviews of other fics. In that respect, consider yourself more of a repeat customer than someone who's made a bulk purchase.

I hope to see you all soon! This is Golden Vision, signing out!


Sithicus Helpicus: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kqN1tIlVqAVNQkiF_ZV72j-6sljr0bNyzpHAi9TXWTg/edit?hl=en_GB&authkey=CIe4pqkI

Cereal's Writing Guide: http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/02/pony-writing-guide.html

Escher's Hints: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gItgz9pF4dT1kS8APsbuQHA1l9Q5kPY8vCVXjpxo2NA/edit?hl=en_US&authkey=CKbFlMkN

The Editor's Omnibus: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WMMs8H-GpFIXPsQeC0RNu8V-Cq6uyGl_UERpOUK_6KY/edit?hl=en_US

Towson University Writing Support: http://www.towson.edu/ows/index.htm

Ezn's Guide: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xemG7BLk2rvAmQCREIaj5wX2ubvmVt7WziEvh7xXV9g/edit
This post was edited by its author on .
109 posts and 45 image replies omitted. Click View to see all.

Oh dear. 1406


Um, sorry about that. It seems I yanked the lid from Pandora's Box and unleashed all the demons therein upon you.

I-I tried to warn you; I really did. In my defense, I didn't think there'd be so many of us word-beasts. Or that there'd be such bigger ones, either.

May God have mercy on your soul.
This post was edited by its author on .



If it's any consolation, everyone who's read it has said it's a breeze to read through. ^^;


File: 1353709950532.gif (739.83 KB, 909x588, flutterage_animated_loop_by_fr…)

I'm gonna need a collection of GDocs chapters from you guys (comments enabled) before I'll be able to review your fics.


All of the GDocs are available through the EqD link. Comments are enabled.


File: 1353723998749.jpg (22.96 KB, 346x318, kittenandgun.jpg)

Okay, G, no bullshit, I just got this in my FIMFic PM box:


Yes, you. Army Guy

You haven't updated in over a week.

Update now, or the kitty gets it.

Can't wait to read the next chapter!


Uh, yeah…

Any idea when you'll get back to it? I don't think Mr. Fluffykins has much longer…


Tomorrow morning, I swear D:

Review: The Horse Whisperer 1417

File: 1353727141571.png (59.03 KB, 948x843, naught_but_a_ghost_by_darkflam…)


Hey, Grif! Took me long enough, I guess. Let's get into this, shall we?


Title: The Horse Whisperer
I like it. It's kinda both creative and clichéd at the same time, if that makes sense.

>An accident leaves Lyra with the ability to see beyond the veil of the dead. How would our carefree unicorn handle her newfound abilities?

Okay, you broke Rule Number 1: No rhetorical questions in synopses. Secondly, it's far too short, and doesn't really get to the actual plot of the fic. Let me suggest something for you:

>When a bolt of lightning strikes Lyra and sends her to the hospital, she's surprised at what she sees when she awakes. Lyra Heartstrings, musician, fillyfriend, and hopeless layabout has suddenly been gifted with the power to see the dead, and even worse, they won't leave her alone. As her relationship with Bon Bon becomes strained, and each phantom becomes a more oppressive force in her life, Lyra is forced to find what's keeping them here—and how to get them to the next life.

This is better because it sets out the characters of the story (Bon Bon, Lyra, and the ghosts), the major conflicts of the book (their relationship, and the inability of the ghosts to leave, and their own bad influence on Lyra's life), and a general tone for the overall piece.


Plot 2/5
The overall concept seems fine, but the plot itself needs quite a bit of work. To start, I found quite a bit of small "plotholes" that could negatively effect the story, which are listed below:

1.) There didn't seem to be any conflict over Lyra knowing Peach's name—IIRC, she never even asked! If you wanted to make it some kind of goal with obstacles, why not have him suggest it to her as a test, and have her run into several failures before finding it, which gives him some respect for her?

2.) When Peach first tells Lyra of his inability to leave, and the reasons why, Lyra offers to help. Help with what, though? There's nothing obvious to do—unless you meant, "find a way for him to leave the mortal plane," which should have been explicitly stated if that was the case.

3.) When they're first entering the house, and Bon Bon's angry at "Mr. Pervy Ghost," wouldn't it have been obvious why there was nopony there? He's a ghost—he can disappear if he wants, and presumably has been able to do so for years (if his tales of spying on the two can be believed). So why does Bon Bon suddenly turn on Lyra over a believable problem? If he thinks there might be trouble, he's hardly going to be present, is he?

4.) Why doesn't Twilight like ponies in the library, and why does Spike so easily go against her wishes? You'd think she would LOVE to have more ponies who like learning in there, reading books and gaining knowledge.

5.) …How in the hell did Bon not comment on Lyra's reading material when she confronted her over their Anniversary? I'd be a bit more concerned about my SO being taken with Satanic ritual and occult spells than about her momentary mental fuzziness.

6.) Telling Sunny that she was from Ponyville should by no means be enough—have her father slip one thing in passing, or have Lyra put two and two together to get something a little more impressive about her home life (that her dad died when she was six?) instead.

7.) Not really a "plot hole" but salt isn't a drink. A salt lick is a deposit of mineral salts that animals use to supplement their nutrition, so it'd be more of a liquor-y type of cocaine than anything.

Finally, we do need that intermission scene (as Pasco remarked earlier), as that one scene change—you know what I'm talking about—is far too abrupt. Furthermore, you could have definitely done much more to set up the overall plot. Once you got to the end, it seemed like everything was happening at once—the preceding 50% seemed to have been a complete waste of time, as nothing of import had happened whatsoever. The beginning was basically just Slice of Life, taken up to eleven, save for the possible title "Ghosts and their Wacky Shenanigans" (which is hardly a story). You need to put more subtleties and development into the ideas of ghosts, and a history that is lying beneath their noses, just waiting to be discovered. Maybe Lyra discovers a secret room in the house before she even finds out Peach's name?

Characters 2/5
First off, Lyra and Bon Bons' relation seemed far too animesque; I failed to glean any real emotion from it. It seemed like a collection of cheap romantic buzzwords, and the occasional Tsundere moment. Their relationship, especially toward the end (as you set up a conflict and then never really developed it or showed what happened as a result) needed a lot more focus.

Lyra herself didn't have the most distinctive diction (in fact, aside from the Drama Trio and the Spa Sisters, nopony really did). The ghosts themselves, up until the halfway point, were pretty much all just cheesy and cardboard-y. Overall, they didn't have much depth, or any real point at all.

Setting 2/5
First off: you had an overdose of SDT. Nothing absolutely terrible, but enough to be noticeable. This was especially apparent when you were either informing us of the tone of somepony's voice, or their expression or features. You shouldn't Tell us this directly; instead, you should imply it through body language or dialogue. This is also seen in the problem of exposition—you should almost never directly exposit information to the readers, and you made a more than liberal use of it. Insteag, again, imply that through events or dialogue. One bit of exposition—Lyra's unemployment—can be exposited through her looking at the Employment section of the newspaper, or promising Bon Bon that she's going out to apply at the Music Store again for a job.

Then, some little things. Keep the PoV consistent—in this case, 3rd person limited (only Lyra's thoughts or perceptions). Don't abuse LUS, even when applicable (there are only so many times I can take "librarian" or "mare friend," even when it's technically appropriate). Don't use so many adverbs as well—"irritatedly" loses its strength when you use it instead of implying with body language.

Mechanics 1/5
Let's just make a short little list:
—Small problems: Missing connecting words (had/to)
—Occasional spelling mistakes
—Choppy sentences (one of your worst problems)
—Sentence Fragments (another bad one)
—Awkward wording
—Missing contractions (I instead of I've; I'd)
—Incomplete colloquialisms ("shrank" v. "shrank back")
—Occasional tense issues

Enjoyability: 2/5
Again, I like the concept. I think it could be good. But your execution doesn't do it much justice at all. You're going to need more, better developed scenes that add onto your plot and increase your characterization. I left this fic feeling somewhat cheated, as though the entire plot had been a non sequitur, and the characters cardboard cutouts that could have been any given pair of ponies—there was very little to make them feel unique. That's a definite problem, amongst your several others, that you're going to have to work against if you want to make this story good.

Total: 9/25


Final Thoughts:
Okay; let's clear something up. By now means was this a bad fic. It certainly wasn't terrible either. Yet it was certainly a mediocre one. I know that you can put a lot more work and thought into this, and believe me when I say that I'm interested in seeing the finished product once you have. But until then, you'll have quite a bit of obstacles to get across, so get join'.

Ready for EqD?: No
Rewrite Recommended?: More like "more development requested."

Best of luck,
Golden Vision
This post was edited by its author on .

Grif 1429

File: 1353734548907.png (149.27 KB, 600x700, Lyra-tired.png)

Acknowledged. Proper reply when I digested the review.

Have a Lyra in the meantime.

Anon13 1440

Would you review a community fic?

We've got a fic which 6 authors wrote one "chapter" at a time. It's already had one strike from EqD, and one partial look-over from the Training Grounds (and the subsequent edits), so we mainly want to see if it holds together.

Once you get through the encyclopedia you've already got, of course… :/

EDIT: Oops, forgot… total word count just over 20k
This post was edited by its author on .


I'll accept any fic, so long as it meets my requirements, and the author(s) is/are willing to actually revise it according to my criticisms.

Review: "Under A Luminous Sky, Ch. 14" 1452

File: 1353775077482.jpg (47.48 KB, 500x562, HLxAMSt_wk-IRcjRf1n_TQ2.jpg)

Hey Jake! Allons-y!


Characters: 5/5
Fuck you, you well-writing bitch.

Plot: 4/5
A few odd things that you needed to reword. Otherwise, pretty good.

Setting: 5/5
See Characters

Mechanics: 5/5
Continue fucking yourself, bitch.

Enjoyability: 5/5

Total: 24/25


Final Thoughts:




>pic related.

In the most heterosexual way possible, of course.

Also, wanna hear something hilarious? So I post the story to FIMFic, then leave to go watch the new episode. I come back, and according to Garnot's comment on my blogpost, in that 22 minutes, I made the featured box, then got kicked off. I finally achieve my goal of so long, only to miss witnessing it by twenty minutes.

God, I'm awesome. :P


File: 1353788080223.gif (145.96 KB, 288x199, snuggle.gif)


>related pic from above comment. Derp.

Story Review Request 1550

File: 1353987096301.jpg (102.17 KB, 500x372, tumblr_m2rxl0ADGW1rnl2pl.jpg)

Title: Amara Nocte
Tags: Dark, Sci-fi, Alternate Universe, Adventure
Synopsis:Generations after the Elements of Harmony rose to power, Nightmare Moon returned, and the night is harsher than ever. The Elements, trapped for eternity protecting the ponies they care for, power the protective shields of light over all the remaining towns and cities… but they cannot last forever. The shields are failing, and Nightmare Moon, ruler of the night outside the freezing cities across Equestria, endangers everyone with her subversive corruption. Stone Wall, a mare with dreams of another group of very special ponies, is tasked with uniting the last remaining strongholds of light and life. On the way, she learns dark secrets of the light she'd worshiped since she was a filly, and of the Regent herself, and she wonders… Can one simple pony ever hope to bring light to a world of such potent shadow? Or has she been doomed to failure from the start? (Synopsis written by Silvertongue, my homeboy.)
Word Count: 2001
Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1U2GKG08jhWpI7r0-S8A8HZFvRP5uhfUXg2N7EtZ_C2Q/edit
Comments: Sup GV? After long consideration, we decided that I'd make this new thing and we pretty much just abandoned the other thing we sent in because Higgy's got college. So I tried my hand at solo work. It's pretty bad, so I want you to help me kick it into something readable, please. Thanks and enjoy.

Dr. Princess King Ninja Kaiser Pirate Tangus von Nohugh M.D. D.D.S. O.C.S.

Community Fic Review Request Anon13 1603

OK, You Asked For It… :)

Title: Boredom is Contagious
Author: Anon13 (moi), Tumbleweed, RK_Striker_JK_5, Paleo Prints, Lurks-No-More, Cloud Wander
Tags: Comedy, Random, Mane 6, Spike, CMCs, Dr. Whooves, Ditzy Doo, OCs
Synopsis: "The Cutie Mark Crusaders are bored. This sentence alone would normally herald despair. The fact that the Stable for Disease Control happened to temporarily store an infectious pathogen collection in Ponyville can only add to the ensuing chaos.

Also, Pinkie Pie may or may not turn into a zeppelin later. Time travel will be kept to a minimum."

Notes: Community fic done one chapter at a time on the RPG.net forum. Aside from me, the other authors are experienced ponyfic authors… 4 of them have 5- or 6-star (EqD) fics to their names.
Ran this by EqD way too early, he liked the concept but flagged me for, well, everything. Ran it by Training Grounds, it was partially reviewed (then "something came up"). Appropriately edited each time.

EDIT: Hey, it would probably be a lot easier if you had a link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1g0ned6ip8oKJYwmmPzyBq7NrcstatPV0tXg7lAfzW-c/edit (Comment-enabled Google doc)
This post was edited by its author on .

Umbra!S7TySB6rOM 1614

Took you long enough to start reviewing again, you bastard.

Just kidding. Great to have you back!


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Done and done.

Howver, before I accept you fully into the queue, I'd just like to make sure that your story isn't a crackfic; i.e. it isn't just an implausible bunch of nonsense heaped under the [Random] tag. I'm normally not suspicious, but phrases like "Pinkie Pie may or may not turn into a zeppelin" do make my alarm bells go off, so if you could reassure me otherwise, that would be greatly appreciated.




Uh, okay. Here it is. The final chapter. Almost a year in the making.

You know what? I'm gonna keep my comments to myself for a bit.

Title: Under A Luminous Sky
Author: Jake The Army Guy
Tags: Dark
Word count: 8,000
Synopsis: Equestria is a land of peace. Violent crime is almost nonexistent. Ponyville in particular hasn't had a single case of equicide in all its years of existence. But nothing lasts forever.

A body is discovered in the Everfree Forest. Shortly thereafter, an enigmatic stallion arrives at the local library, dispatched by Celestia herself. Faced with an obstinate police force, Twilight and this strange new pony must put the pieces together and catch a killer. But as the blood continues to spill, one thing becomes terrifyingly clear: in the dark of the Everfree, much more is at stake than mere lives.


Once more, not QUITE done, but it will be by the time you get to it, what with your two-month queue wait times. :P

Also, a humble request. Seeing as how I'm gearing up for my big EqD complete post, could you also look at my synopsis again?
This post was edited by its author on .

Anon13 1625


Well, the "Random" tag is probably unnecessary—it's mainly there because of its patchwork nature. Then again I specified from the beginning that this was to at least approximate a "Normal" fic.

You can see we have everypony in it except the princesses, and we all tried to hew close to the show.


File: 1354268042128.png (816.19 KB, 1000x846, speclow.png)

Well GV, I've dropped The Sixth Age off in your box.

After all this time, I'm ready to give this story the treatment it deserves. Having it featured by Seattle's Angels made me want to write it for the pleasure of the viewers it was likely to get from such an accolade, and wanting to write it made me want to go backwards through it and edit it up to my current standards.

I'm pretty sure you were the first one ever to review it.

I figure it's only appropriate that you see it again at this stage of its life.

GeodesicDragon 1949

I've been seeking the services of as many pre-readers as I can in order to get this on EQD. Ukai and Meek (from Ponychan) have both pointed out a load of errors, which I have fixed.

The FOURTH DRAFT of the story is here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PK6lbiXRpr2DyAWPIRwAg75KVukXXuH54Rw_vkaTBCU/edit

The more people I have pre-reading this, the more chances I have of spotting all the mistakes.

If you could read mine again, that would be very much appreciated.

GeodesicDragon 1957


File: 1354735297652.png (330.06 KB, 960x786, 70's pinkamena.png)

Hi, Geo. It's understandable to want to get as much help as possible, but it's somewhat frowned upon to submit your story to five queues at once! It would also be appreciated if you would alert everypony you're requesting help from that you've sent it to the others. Like so:

>Hey there, GV. This story has also been submitted to Meek, SLP/Garnot, Nicholas, and Ukai.

I hope you enjoy your stay, but do take a moment and peruse the rules and guidelines, to make everypony's live a little easier. Help us help you, no?


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Aid Package is here! 1992

File: 1354773506539.gif (1.93 MB, 245x187, .. (10).gif)

Greetings to you all, users of /fic/ and seekers of aid in the field of writing. Some of you know who I am, some of you do not. But that's okay, because today, I'm here to let everyone know that Golden vision and I have talked, and we have come to a singular conclusion that most of you have likely come to realize

Golden Vision is SWAMPED with work.

So, in order to give GV a much needed hand (and the fact that I like to help you all out however I can), I've offered to aid Golden Vision with his review Queue.

Starting tomorrow morning, I'm going to start taking stories from his queue and doing review for each one (which I'll post here as well).

This should liven GV's load considerably.

what does this mean? Simple:

1. I, alongside GV, will be tending to stories posted on the queue, increasing the speed with which they are given their proper reviews.

2. Depending on story size, reviews should come at a rate of anywhere between one or two a week, more is the story is relatively short. This should prove to be a far faster pace than GV can accomplish on his own.

3.Multi-chapter stories will have their first chapters reviewed, and depending on how well they perform, either be resumed one review down the line, or be delegated to GV for further notes.

And, that's it really. I start this little venture tomorrow.

for those wondering, my own queue will remain closed for the time being, as I'll be working with GV to help him out with his own workload.

I will get to some stories very soon, so have patience on my end
This post was edited by its author on .


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File: 1354791978616.png (266.94 KB, 900x1286, fluffy.png)

Fluffy Twilight approves of this course of events.

Um, but could I humbly request that GV looks at my story? NO OFFENSE, Ed! I know you know what you're doing, you've helped me in the past.

It's just that this is the final chapter of my story, and GV has been working with me since the very beginning. So, obviously, I highly value his input on this one. Also, to me, this is kind of my, "Take the marble from my hand, and you will be ready" moment. G-Vizzle has taught me so much about writing, and this is like the culmination, where we finally see if I can tell a full story.

So, yeah, that cool?
This post was edited by its author on .

Requesting Alteration of my Submission 2008

Hey, when either you or Garnot get around to looking at my fic, would you mind replacing the current synopsis with this one?

As every end must have a beginning, so too shall the sensation that sparked a movement find its last days upon it. This is the beginning of that end. Twilight Sparkle has faced many foes both pure evil and mildly irritating. Her magic, the power of her friendship, has prevailed over countless obstacles and saved Equestria time and again.

However, now a new challenge shall arise to test her, which shall bring with it questions Twilight has never before faced. Choices shall be made, actions irrevocably taken, and a beloved phenomenon shall find itself in a danger the likes of which it has never before seen.

The light cannot last forever, and so you must hope to survive Knightfall.

I’m much less fond of my current one, and I think this would do the job better. If my old one is fine (which I doubt) I’ll keep it, but I think this one captures what I’m trying to do much better.

Thanks for your time.

Tactical!fRainBOoMw 2013


Scumbag Tactical:

Has Garnot helping to get to his review faster

First thing he does is make a Scumbag Tactical joke


File: 1354815856919.png (108.48 KB, 400x396, 782.png)

Heh, you're too kind my friend.

Jake, why of course I do not mind, and rather expected it to be fair. You and GV have worked on this story for such a long time, that for the first time ever I feel as if there is little of value I can actually input that isn't a nitpick or plot alteration suggestion. Again, you've done well you magnificent Cabron

Done and Done. I also notice you're next in the queue, that means I get to start soon as I end this post.

Let's see what kind of tale you've weaved for us here.

Good Guy Ed:

Offers to Help GV.

Finds Tactical Scumbag joke hilarious.
This post was edited by its author on .

GeodesicDragon 2022


Thanks for that. I really do appreciate the help I am getting, don't get me wrong. Its just that I've put a lot of time into this, and I'd really like to get on EQD.

Off the top of my head, the following people have given their input on my story:

* Meek (from Ponychan)
* Nicholas (from Ponychan)
* Ukai (from Ponychan)
* glove (from FIMFiction and Skype)

There are others, but they've been commenting as Anonymous. Apologies if I forgot anyone.

The seventh draft is here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15GAR-4TuShaab8eiWDyXDTGxbNNW6AB1kUwUoFV67wA/edit

The sixth draft had a few comma issues, which have been fixed. This is hopefully the final draft, and the one I send to EQD.

Tactical!fRainBOoMw 2053


Yeah, see, that started as a Good Guy Garnot joke in my head, and eventually my thought process came around to what you see here. Fuck I'm just so meta it's crazy. I must be a postmodernist or some shit.

Funny thing, The Sixth Age started with the original project that it broke my heart to abandon, and then after Seattle's Angels motivated me to continue it, it became my only long-runner that's actually moving.

And now I'm being tempted to write Friendship: The Gathering, which would become yet another probably stagnant long-runner…

Tactical!fRainBOoMw 2226

Hey, I would also like to request that G-vizzle read my nonsense rather than Garnot for a few reasons.

Mainly, because I'm in the process of getting a very good review that's looking like it will take a very long time. If Garnot is here to burn the queue, he ought to skip over me lest he get to me when I'm not ready for him yet.

Also because GV was maybe the first to ever give 6A a review, so it's appropriate that he see it again.


Except I think GV is dead…


File: 1355070271943.gif (107.76 KB, 500x161, mlfw8748-oie_812377cBUaEsg.gif)


File: 1355071672266.png (395.64 KB, 1280x721, poker face.png)

Oh… well, this is awkward…


File: 1355094573636.png (765.01 KB, 1200x871, NNMMST3K.png)




…Is that Nightmare Moon with the cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000?


Yes… yes, it is.

And GV, I'm just playing with you, dude. I know you don't shirk your duties, only postponing for IRL stuff. Take your time, bro. :)


File: 1355188043068.jpg (72.01 KB, 500x644, my-little-pony-friendship-is-m…)

Hi guys. I just want to apologize up front for what I'm about to tell you.

Some of you might have noticed that my work's been piling up. I've got over 300k words in my queue alone, some of which have been sitting there for over two weeks, if not twice that. In the meantime, I've started up the Weekly Writer's Workshop, and offered to help Anonthony with organizing the /fic/ Community Workshop, two events which are taking up a lot of my time here. In the meantime, between schoolwork, drums practice, APs, college applications, and TF2 Highlander, I've barely found enough time for my own writing, let alone anyone else's.

Basically, I've been forced to confront the choice that's been stalking me for the past three months: my reviews, my projects, or my writing.

And so it is with great regret that I must announce that I will no longer review fanfiction on /fic/, or at least not publicly, and certainly not regularly. Though Garnot has been absolutely wonderful, and is welcome to continue slogging through my overstuffed queue if he so desires, I am afraid that I will have to drop the rest of you, as I simply do not have the time, and you can find a reviewer much better than me, I am sure.

Certain authors, of course, who I have had the most contact with while on this board, are welcome to solicit me for private reviews, as well as anyone who feels their writing is good enough to merit it. Otherwise, I'll be turning my attention to more high-end and intensive projects, most especially W^3 which I would like to, in layman's terms, make A Thing That Is Happening.

If you have any questions, thoughts, or complaints, you have my email ([email protected]). Note, by the way, that I shan't be leaving the board; only my reviewing presence shall disappear, for the moment at least.

Once again, you all have my utmost apologies. I am sorry for my terrible irresponsibility.

Tactical 2284

Your decision is completely understandable.

I'm glad you're commited to making the w3 into A Thing, though! That's a very noble and very fun idea.


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Bleeding Rain!DROPScczL2 2289

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Heh, shoulda figured. You'll be back, but until then: Best of luck to you.
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GV, your choice was, expected. You're doing so much in such a short time.

I provided my assistance to aid you with your queue, therefore aiding you with your workload as a whole.

Now that you've decided to put it on hold, I feel as if my work is no longer needed. Nevertheless, I'll finish what I started.

I'll go ahead and take care of three entries that not only attracted my attention as a whole, but are also ones that I've already started, or are part of my own queue. They are as follows:

Writer's block Knightfall (I'm doing yours as we speak. Sorry if I'm being a tad sluggish. Work and all that jazz)

Casca's Ice and Fire (I'll be providing whatever aid I can, since I've technically given this a review already)


Crosswynd's unmarked (you are next on the list, and I'll get to you soon).

Tactical, Jake, I know you guys said you wanted GV to look it over, but if you wish it, I wouldn't mind giving yours a look over in preparation to GV's look over.

As for the rest of you, you'll be kept in a stand-by list, for now at least. You are welcome to send it over to me once I open up shop (after the holidays) or GV re-opens his thread.

GV, I'll be in contact with you.

Until then, you've all been wonderful, and best of luck. It's been a pleasure.


Sure! A new set of eyes never hurt anything! ^_^

Tactical!fRainBOoMw 2318


As I said, the main reason is because I wanted my review put on hold.

Another minor concern is that, frankly, I'm worried that just this one review alone will be enough to put this fic in revision hell for a while. We'll see.



I'll probably get to your fic this weekend, actually. Would you be okay if I used it for this week's W^3 fic review? :3

Tactical!fRainBOoMw 2336

I would love it if you did.

Be advised that it's choked with comments left by someone who's very observant and who really likes the way his words look on the screen. That review isn't going to be finished anytime soon, either.

Maybe copypaste 6A into a new google doc when it's time for you to live review it?

twillale 2339


We never have enough time to do All The Things, do we? ;)

Best of luck in your endeavours, GV, and thank you for all the work you've done!

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