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Scootaloo's Father's Day #Story LiamNeighson!ju.ggVLh9k 6435

Hey!

Just looking for some feedback on my story I wrote for the EQD FlashFic #3. I am hoping to get it posted on EQD so any help I can get to polish it up before the pre-readers get to it would be appreciated!

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/111375/scootaloos-fathers-day

Edit: Oops, my bad!

#Story

Synopsis: It's Father's Day in Ponyville and Scootaloo doesn't have a father to give a presentation at school, again. Scootaloo's friends get together to help her enjoy the holiday without feeling left out. And with a bit of divine intervention, she has the best Father's Day yet.

Genre: Slice of Life #Slice of Life

Characters: Everypony #Everypony (Mane 6, CMC, Celestia, OC's, Other)

Sorry about the noobish first post, I submitted it to the GDoc instead and joined the fimfic group. I'm sorry this came around the summer influx but I promise I want to be active in the community. I'm no fancy pants college student with their books and semicolons an' all.
This post was edited by its author on .

Good Evening! 6436

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>>6435
Oh dear.

First, tags go in the "Comment" box, surrounded by two brackets: [ and ], which should look something like [ #Story ] and become something like #Story.

Second:
>no synopsis
>no genre tags
>no characters
>new OP asking for review

If you would like your story reviewed, read >>158 and check the Directory at >>159 for a list of open reviewing threads. We'd love to help you with your story, but this is not the way to go.

Now! With that cleared up, welcome to /fic/. Please keep your dexterous appendages within a reasonable radius of your keyboard, and do enjoy the ride.

Have a smashing summer solstice at /fic/. ;D

By the way, your first sentence is a comma splice: “Hurry up Scootaloo, we’re gonna be late!” should be "Hurry up, Scootaloo! We're going to be late!" (or "Hurry up, Scootaloo; we're going to be late!" if you're the kind to put semicolons in dialogue).

6437

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>Not reading/following the sticky
This is what's know as "Poking the hornet's nest".

Rodinga !vL.TDTGrPw 6451

>>6437
Or playing the "Song of Sturms"

Doom doom doooom, doom doom doooom, doooom do doom doom doom.

Anonymous 6457

>>6451
>>6451
Is that like the normal song of Storms, but with more implied buggering?

6459

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