Allow me to be the first to say that this fic is right up there with Past Sins and My Little Dashie as one of the greatest literary achievements ever in the history of writing. As soon as I saw the review request, I knew this was my chance to be a part of something much greater than myself, and if I could make even a tiny contribution to this fic, then my life would be complete.
As you can probably expect, it was very difficult to find anything that could possibly be improved. However, even a genius like yourself will occasionally miss some of the more mundane details, especially when you are divinely inspired as you obviously were when writing this.
After careful review, I believe I found one typo.>Than one day we was
Missing comma.>Than one day, we was
Besides that, the only way I think this can be improved is by showing more. You may have heard of showing vs telling. The best way to show and not tell is, of course, using pictures. So if you get as many pictures of Nyxie as you can and embed them directly into the story, this story will soar well beyond My Little Dashie and Past Sins.
I hope this review was helpful. It was an honour to work with an author as accomplished as yourself. Feel free to contact me anytime if you'd like a review of your story.