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The Writer's Cafe - Story Idea General, Version 1.0.0 - FOREVER Edition 49

#Discussion #General #Writer's Cafe

Hello and welcome to the Writer's Cafe, a place to exchange ideas between your fellow authors and to spark conversations that will better both your idea and you as an author.

Consider this a place to drop ideas that you won't write or feed upon ideas that make your own stories a little bit better.

Form if you want feedback on your idea: http://goo.gl/3rdNQ

The list of ideas: http://goo.gl/o4sCW

53

how you get those tags?

54

Tags are created like so:

{#tag Description} Replacing the '{}' with '[]' and #tag Description with the relative tags.

Ion-Sturm 56

>>54
Well, that's cool.
#Test
Unless it only works for an OP. Guess I'll find out.

58

>>56
Very cool indeed, handy too for when you're posting a story in a thread.
>inb4 thread that you can only talk in tags with

Anonymous 62

>>58
#Good idea

63

#This should probably be removed for something more robust, though

[Test]

!!Applejack 64

>>63
You're right. This was the initial thing put in place to give us something to start with for the first day or so.

Ion-Sturm 65

>>62
I try.

>>63
In what way?

74

File: 1342329445661.png (543.41 KB, 1366x768, drinking.png)

>>71

Well, only the good ones. Because most of the stuff nowadays needs a lot of work.

Applejinx !tDashiepow 76

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>>71
People still read fics. #TheMoreYouKnow

Professor Hugbox 77

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Why are tags even needed in individual posts? They probably aren't.

78

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>>77

Maybe it makes it easier to identify story tags. Makes it easier on the reviewer. But enough with the derail.

(Somewhat crazy) idea 130

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#Mature– Donut continue reading if your mileage varies.

I briefly discussed this idea in IRC a short while ago. The main outline of the story is expressed in the logs: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/68611394/Idea.html

Now, I'm wondering if first person is a good idea here. I'm thinking it is, because the whole story is focused on this one madmare, but third-person limited with her thoughts frequently bleeding into the narration can maybe also work. I'm confident with both styles.

A big part I want to focus on too is the idea of high-roller society being made up mostly of mares—role reversal on the real world. This is shown both in the main character's attitude towards stallions, all of her rich colleagues being mares and having a likewise attitude, and the whole thing with street-hookers being stallions and not mares, etc.

The next big thing is the house, and how she goes about killing her victims. The house's entire layout is left mostly unknown even to the reader, both because that makes it more creepy and because it makes it easier to write (I can make stuff up as I go along, heh). It also wouldn't make much sense (and would be rather telly) for the narrator to just spill the whole genius of her labyrinthine house.

She's far more methodical about it than the character in American Psycho. She doesn't *have* to kill other ponies, but she does because she can and because it gets her loads of money. And while she's at it, she gets a sadistic kick out of the whole ordeal.

Lastly, I'd just like to know if I'm not entirely crazy for thinking this is a good idea. It will (if anybody actually reads it) probably make some people pretty angry, and that's sort of the point. I want to see how far I can take this character before she (and by extension, I) goes too far. Also, if there's any way I could make this better, I'm certainly open to suggestions.
This post was edited by its author on .

Anonthony!EEEEEEEE2c 131

>>130
Like the others, I think finding satisfactory resolution is pretty much the whole kit and caboodle. I don't necessary think a Crime and Punishment style completion is possible; since we're not really talking about someone pushed to a limit and breaking, then dealing with the consequences and mental burden, we're talking about a flat out serial-sociopathic sex-killer who fully enjoys and get something out of the whole thing. I don't know -how- it could be ended, but the idea of placing such a concept into Equestria -is- something that intrigues.
This post was edited by a moderator on .

Tactical AttentionWhorse 208

>>130

Wanted to weigh in on matriarchal society. I've wanted for a long time to work that idea too, partially because it's a reversal and partially because it would just be another cool aspect of pony culture to bring up. The evidence is definitely there in canon. Here is what you've got to work with:

-The land is ruled by a pair of Goddesses. That's almost enough to justify matriarchal society already. The Mayor is female. Every Winter Wrap-Up team leader is female. Spitfire is the captain of the Wonderbolts, not Soarin. The Apple family mares are a couple of little fireballs; Big Mac is sort of quiet and deferential.

-Mares are not seen as tough or intimidating. I refer to A Dog and Pony Show—the lesson is that just because someone is all ladylike like Rarity doesn't mean they're defenseless. Actually, the phrasing is "just because someone is a lady," so take that as you will.

-Nuclear families are canon. Dammit! I really wanted to work polyamory and stallions studding themselves out to those ready to raise a family.

-There are a couple of canon high roller stallions. Sure you can write off the rich background ponies with their top hats and monocles as arm candy or trophy husbands, but don't even give me that shit with Fancy Pants or Filthy Rich. Fancy Pants even has arm candy of his own. I choose to believe that Hoity Toity is regarded as a sex object, like a singer. In Appleloosa a couple of stallions hold positions of authority, and there's Shining Armor too.

To me, characters like quill and sofa pony + Fancy Pants make me feel like there's pretty strong gender equality for stallions. That doesn't mean you can't have a matriarchal society, but be careful about writing your gender relations as being terribly crappy. You might perhaps justify it with mares of a certain class, profession, or upbringing being sexists.

Derpy the Muffin Terrorist!!7QxiZQqGah 209

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>Hello all, the following is a fic idea I've had rolling around in the back of my head for a while now, loosely based on the story "The Salvation Wars". Basically it's a Humanity fuck yeah! story set in the FO:E universe in an attempt to decrease the grim-dark a bit.

When Golden Oats was a filly her mother would tell her stories of ancient Equestria, her favorite stories where of Humans, children of the ancient gods of war Humans were as different from ponies as Dragons. Proud and fierce Humans sought naught but violence and conflict and thus ponies mostly avoided them, but in times of fear and danger ancient ponykind would hire companies of Human mercenaries or individual champions to fight in their defense, paying them in gold and gems which the Humans greatly valued. Humanity disappeared from Equestria many centuries ago, and many ponies now consider them to be merely myth, but a little over two centuries ago the gods of war once again found Equestria and the world burned in balefire as a result.
Now an adult, Dr. Oats didn’t have much time to think about her mother’s stories while she traveled around trying to save the wasteland one pony at a time. Until one day a prospector paid her for her services with a piece of information, the location of a pre-war military bunker which, the data indicated, contained a way to the world in which Humanity now resides.
The old stories said Humans were the masters of war, if… If they could be brought back to Equestria could their might not be used to pacify the wasteland and save all the good creatures forced to live there by the failures of their ancestors?
Now filled with a purpose Dr. Oats gathers her friends and amassing a small fortune in pre-war gold bits and gemstones she makes her way to the bunker, though she knows what she is doing is crazy and terribly dangerous, she also can’t not do it, Equestria deserves better.

Payback Enterprises is a small, but prosperous private mercenary company, their no-nonsense philosophy summed up by their motto: Vendimus Mortem, we sell death. Steve Williams is an Operator with “PBE”, a veteran of the US Army and the “War on Terror” he prefers the battlefield to the mall, bitterly clinging to the idea that he can somehow save the world, or at least change it for the better. Steve is currently in Angola playing bodyguard for some petty oil magnate, until suddenly, with a flash of light and a wave of nausea he isn’t anymore…
The next few minutes will change the fate of the Equestrian wasteland forever, whether for better or worse remains to be seen.

Anonymous 5731

Maybe this should be bumped because it's a General. I would assume so.

Anonymous 6033

File: 1370921841618.png (1.08 MB, 879x909, Other25.png)

So, this is my first time here at MLPchan and I actually came looking for Flutterape but don't really know where to look. The nice people over at AIE on 4chan told me this is where the authors from Flutterape now reside, so can anyone help me out?

6034

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>>6033
You're probably thinking of FiMchan (does that place even exist anymore?). While this /fic/ does allow mature stories (when tagged as such), there's very little in the way of R34 here.

Tactical 6036

>>6033

Self appointed clop expert here.

What the horsedicks is Flutterrape. Whatever it is, I automatically hate it and everyone involved with it.

Anonymous 6038

>>6033
If Flutterrape's relocated to MLPchan, it's probably on >>>/anon/.
This post was edited by its author on .

6040

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>>6033
Are you referring to a subject matter in a story or an author?

6043

>>6040
Flutterrape is a general on /mlp/. Imagine the SFG if all the SFG wrote was "you are raped by Fluttershy" stories.

Anonymous 6044

>>6038
>>6043
That thread hasn't resurfaced anywhere as of yet since being washed out by /mlp/'s janitors, but if they did here it would be at >>>/anon/

Tactical 6045

>>6043

Then it would be wall to wall shit but marginally cloppable. Instead of wall to wall shit and universally vapid and worthless.

Anonymous 6054

Hello!

Hopefully, this is the right place to ask, but I need some help…

My fic is about filly Twilight, and I need her to do something (preferably in a school environment) that showcases her organizational and leadership skills–something dramatic! Not putting together a school event or something, but more in line of saving somebody's life with the help of her classmates.

In any case, some suggestions/ideas/ feedback etc. would be appreciated!

(Note: no involvement of the other Mane6)

6063

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>>6054
Twilight's class goes for a field trip. As they're flying over a forest in the school chariot (Everfree is possible, but you'd need a good reason for them to be over that; any forest will do for this), their pegasus chariot driver is attacked by… something, or perhaps they hit a rogue storm, whatever, as long as they're grounded and can't get help easily. Twilight uses her organization skills to build a shelter and assign duties for the other students so that way they can stay safe until help arrives.

June Silence (Working Title) 6081

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Hey, everypony.

I just wanted to kick this around the Writer's Cafe and see if I couldn’t get it in a mite better shape.

June Silence (Working Title)
#Crossover #Mystery

Everything here is tentative and subject to change.

Elevator pitch:
A horoscope writer’s attempt to make his predictions more accurate causes his life to start running in reverse.

Longer explanation:
This is intended as an adaptation of Algernon Blackwood’s John Silence, Physician Extraordinary. The first main character is Perry Pierce (see attached image), a horoscope writer for one of Canterlot’s numerous tabloids. In an ill-advised attempt to procure more accurate horoscopes, he contracts Merlin Sickness; specifically, he “remembers” his future but not his past. Whatever he divines from this newfound power would be one of the driving forces of the story (perhaps a terrible catastrophe will arise in the near future), while the other driving force would be an undecided personal conflict. Being virtually deprived of his free will, Perry Pierce has a metal breakdown and winds up in a mental ward for magical maladies.

The second main character, an earth pony that goes by the name June Silence, received a substantial inheritance at one point in her life and used it to explore the more obscure phenomena of the mystical sciences. She decides to take Perry’s case, to help him return to normal as well as to stop whatever has been haunting his visions.

PoV will either be third-person limited or cinematic (objective).

Points requiring help:
-Perry Pierce’s personal motivation (what core character trait drives him to want better horoscopes, etc.)
- June Silence’s personal motivation (Is she atoning for a past sin?)
-the vaguely terrible thing Perry sees (What might it be?)
-the ailment (I’ve got a general idea of how it should work, but I might change it up—instead of remembering the future, he starts seeing the present in horrific details, or forgets his past, or can’t form new memories, etc.)
-the genre (I’m not entirely sure about #Mystery)
-the tone (Should it be a story highly personal and focused on lost equinity? Or should it be a story about ponies battling the grand Otherness? Or something else?)
-possible endings

Those are just a few of the points. Any input from you guys would be greatly appreciated.
This post was edited by its author on .

Nonsanity!NOnSAniTYI 6167

>>6054

Being so young, to exercise her leadership skills (which would still be a little raw as a filly) she'd need to be able to lead others that are younger than her—since she's not that good at inter-pony relations with fillies her own age yet. However, babies would be hard to lead, so how about animals?

Perhaps some farm animals while on a school field trip to a farm not too far from Canterlot, but still in the mountains. Having been teased by some classmates, Twilight hangs back in the barn with the animals while the others move on. She talks to the animals about liking them more than her classmates, but the animals turn out to be a bit too wild for her liking and a little more than she can handle.

Now we add the big event: an earthquake/landslide. The animals are scared and go a little wild, so Twilight has to put her hoof down a little. It's enough to show her that being "the adult" isn't as easy as she thought. It gets even harder when she realizes she's alone and doesn't know where the grownups or her classmates went. She waits, but they don't come back.

Getting the animals under some control, Twilight goes out to look, and finds that the one of the other buildings has slid down into a gully, trapping everyone inside. After having a small panic attack, she gets down to business and starts organizing the animals to particular tasks. (Bonus points if her previous time with them highlighted, in some way, each of these special skills she now puts to use.)

Twilight, with the help of the animals under her leadership, saves the day.

P.s. Look! New Tripcode… Oooooh yeeeaaaaaah.

6172

File: 1371170100165.gif (1.96 MB, 269x151, uhA7k9H.gif)

>>6167
>Nine character trip
Good god man, your computer must have been doing that for an entire year to generate it.

6189

>>6172
Nine? How plebian. ;)

6219

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>>6189
Says the seven-character tripper.

6255

>>6219
OMG PONY PDQ
That's ten, sire.

6274

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>>6255
You're not fooling anyone with those last three random letters :P

6277

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Machiavelli 6772

I was thinking of this alternate universe with the intention of a huge series of stories. But by dropping the backstory and stories for each characters // filler which mostly resides in equestria's fantasy theme, i think it would end up better if I detached it completely from the the medieval pone theme, so I can work with sci fi and fantasy, humans with fingers, computers, tracking cameras, mech suits, real technology along with magic.
I should just keep it in one contained fic about wars and diplomacy, if I don't want to characterize each nation as much as Avatar did.

The ending arc story ends up being about Twilight discovering her parents in prison, same for the mane5 which got captured right inside Equestria and sent on a different planet called Acropolis of Xanatos, with a superior army - perhaps chaos marines mixed with earth&fire nation. A planet which Equestria supposedly has a peace act with.
Twilight beats Celestia and takes control of the army with the help of celestia's two advisors(Iroh and Jasmine).
(before the above happen)Luna makes it seem like shes trapped for 50 years by Celestia, Celest did so because Luna wanted to start a war with the Acropolis planet. She still proceeded to work on her army from remote areas but at a slower pace, she still managed to concentrate on making a decent amount of elite squadrons and very capable spies.
Equestria wins the war mainly because of their opponents having too much corruption, so most of the population and army fall to the spy generals' control willingly. (like Azula from Avatar, but preferabily by a middle aged general and with actual changes for the better to the people's way of life, not just because plot convenience)
(Luna exiled for just 50 years so it doesn't give the adversary such an immense boost…it's still far too much time considering how real wars go)
(Perhaps I could make Celest eventually give up and side with them so she doesn't end up being such a bitter loser.) But I have a hard time writing her as lovable… her personality I could do it, but as a plot device, function and her actions, no I suck at it, I always saw these type of asian masters''Trust me and do everything I say cause I'm god'' to really need a kick in the jaw and a solid fat reality check.

The summary of the pilot is only related to the arc story by making Luna accepted by Celestia so Luna can build her army faster(also under the pretence that the monsters are multiplying), and something not so related - Twilight learns dark magic from Luna herself, and if we go with the standalone story arc then Luna also directly tells the location of Twilight's parents.
Nightmare's defeat is faked, she makes Twilight convince Celestia that Luna was being mind controlled…or something more believable which I'm sure better writers could come up with.
Either Luna makes the proposition to Twilight a few days before the sitch of Nightmare Moon returning or she makes it on the go while they're battling and teleports Twilight to her castle.

A thirty year old Twilight Sparkle has returned from her adventures, just in time for NightmareMoon/Luna's planned arrival.
(All the adventures would be detailed later, but keep going in this direction and you have over 50 different stories to tell)

SCENES
Twilight takes a break at her second house in ponyville - A good looking mansion, and sits comfy listening to jazz music and drinking whisky while reading War and Peace.
Nightmare's minions infiltrate the mansion by climbing on walls. I wanted this to be an action part but that's a dumb cliche…I'll tell you why it shouldn't be soon.
Either Nightmare sends crappy minions with no diplomacy skills or Twilight is caught in a bad alcoholic moment, doesn't wait and kicks their asses with style.
Twilight changes the music from jazz to metal and proceeds to beat the uninvinted guests by breaking most of the room.
Then a second wave comes in the trophy room with weapons, the music switches to smooth instrumental and Twilight swiftly kills them or kicks them out the room, keeping everything intact. Just one shadowbolt tells Twi to stop, with an artefact in the hand err hoof, Twilight approaches the shadowbolt while smiling and evil laughing and telling him to do it, he gets scared shitless and the artefact burns his hand. Twilight non chalantly asks herself if she set it to self-destruct, which makes the last minion run off. Twilight puffs over it and then presses a button, a slice of pizza comes out. Ends up it was a mini oven with a custom design, made by Twilight.
(Should put this one action scene somewhere else and thus break break the cliche of stupid antagonists making offers to the hero just after they attacked them, but I'm a sucker for action scenes with characterization)
Celest contacts the other 5 to join Twilight in the Everfree Forest. Nightmare is at first characterized as a very fast silent killer, and later as a playfuly seductive vixen. Before Twilight goes into the mission, she stacks up on potions and artefacts so she can stand a chance against the god and the entire army.
I want there to be a recurring theme about planning ahead.

FILLER
That's about it for the pilot. Other things are about the other 5 characters and a somewhat modified Equestria.
Rainbow Dash is a very bubbly and playful Peter Pan that keeps joining different flying teams till she decides what her own flying team should be about. She first joins the Wonderbolts, Luna's shadowbolts, The Comeeters(which operate in space) and finally the Storm knights which are the aerial army. There could be more.
Applejack is practically Batman&Zorro but with David Xanatos' personality. She pretty much cleared her racing city of any crime, but got really bored turned it into Las Vegas. In the backstory she starts off with no sense of humor because of the crime rate and then recovers it, creates the city of lights and then gets married. Was thinking of Batman evolving from his old grouchy self into a character with actual personality and goals beyond revenge.
Fluttershy is focused on action, majorly tomboyish but in a calm way. Fluttershy is a powerful nature fairy that defeats giant beasts to garner their power or rule them, but is still a hippy listening to celtic music(at least what the lazy hippies always dream of becoming). She lives in a exquisite deer/elf polis. When Twilight was adventuring she helped take down a large beast and got along with Flutters which gave her the ability to morph into different ponies and races, even gender. Twilight kept the head as trophy and Flutters the spirit.
Pinkie is less bubbly, she used to be the captain of a group of sky pirates and constantly changes jobs & roles in the lookout for riches, but knows how to have fun. Her cousin Minty is more bubbly.(Rainbow makes business and grand pranks with Pinks, like fred & george). She'd take control of a circus, the A-Team, pulls off major heists,goes psycho deadpool,plays the jester stereotype for a few times, sings good and releases albums, etc. The character changes from flamboyant mercenary and eccentric salesman to gold-digger pirate engineer to confident witty rebel and ultimately to a mature responsible entrepreneur which can still crack a joke…and still carries a giant apocalyptic robot pony under her house.
Rarity is a secret archer,detective,spy and assassin. Known as a noble, soon queen in a place preferably not related to Canterlot. Born in a rather small country with tons of islands which is famous for personalities with grand achievements.(New Zealand)
Twilight is (adopted? and trained by Iroh,Jasmine and Celest…yep gotta work on it). Twilight is the 'evil genius' rich perverted alcoholic scientist which has middle aged tastes but also young tastes; jazz & metal, whisky & pizza. Just for the hell of it I was thinking of giving her a pet of the week thing; An ice&fire phoenix, a white tiger, a monkey, a giant dragon, a purple singing dog which turns into Cerberus, squirrels with bombs, etc.

Canterlot - A very advanced town filled with adventurous intellectuals and artists that know how to party. They walk on appearing&dissapearing platforms and can instantly teleport(only usable in Canterlot). They often go on trips in gargantuan caverns inside the mountain and they also have snowboarding.
Ponyville - A vacation spot(mostly for casual old people), where there's hot springs, a well done exotic beach like Hawaii(pina coladas are a must), the night sky is very filled and colorful, tons of meadows with a refreshing breeze, managed park forests and weather, and the food is freshly made on the spot due to nearby farmlands.

And Celestia's advisors are Uncle Iroh and Jasmine Lee. Easygoing and a warrior, Adventure junkie and a warrior, respectively.
Iroh/Mako is from Avatar and Jasmine is from Juniper Lee. Don't try to memorize Lee's english voice, it's that bad.

6777

File: 1373647414573.png (811.76 KB, 1082x1200, 241848__UNOPT__safe_rainbow-da…)

I'm attempting to write a story which does some worldbuilding in the Crystal Empire. Problem is there isn't much to work with on the show itself. Any suggestions?

Anonymous 6778

>>6777
Dinosaurs.

Anonymous 6781

>>6777
Alright here's some ideas…
The crystal ponies are made out of zinc, a very universally helpful material. Zinc isn't magnetic.
They seem to have a Greek thing going. Epona is the protector of horses. Pegasus made springs everywhere he stomped. Go look at some legends.
A crystal pony turns into all sorts of hazardous things if it gets the wrong emotions. They turn into spirit horse windigos. (Sombra might have had something to do with this)
They were the original bearers of the elements of harmony and they are a distant cousin to the earth ponies because their magic is dormant - they power up artefacts(the blue heart) just like earth ponies supposedly have an affinity to nature.
Their houses were actually in the mountains inside caves, that's why they felt the need to make their houses out of crystal rocks after they moved out of the caverns.
They moved to a peaceful and therapeutic meadow which inspires protection and comfort, because they're dependant on positive feels.
They can provide the temperate weather without the use of pegasi. They managed to create that meadow inside the desolate freezing mountains.
The northern lights are a fissure in time which made the civilization dissappear for so long.
I don't see them turning into the warrior type, all they do is concentrate on parades all day long and they're mostly boring weaklings, boring cause they take no precautions.

Time to finally get off the show.
Try this: They are forgers of artefacts and powerful nature&spirit magic. Most artefacts contain gems and they're the crystal kingdom. Dragons would often get attracted to them and try to steal crystal ponies.
Their settlement used to be filled with powerful wizards that rode dragons - they're the cause of the northern lights, which is all the magic residue floating around from all the powerful spells.
Now it's laidback creative artists of all sorts enjoying their life…like Bob Ross.
They can make their town dissappear at will and power up the protection sphere.
When a crystal pony dies it revives as a pegasus(with powerful abilities) or just get turned into powder or liquid magic to add up to the aurora borealis. Crystal ponies can be born from crystals ~G1
In greek, the spirits would be called shades, and there's also this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manes
And I ran out of imagination.
This post was edited by its author on .

6784

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Anonymous 6785

File: 1373758283486.jpg (108.51 KB, 1023x682, _MG_0143.jpg)

>>6784
Giant crystal caves in Mexico.

6786

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>>6781
Sorry, but I'm trying to stick with the smaller aspects of the Crystal Empire. I worry that if I do something to big that it might get jossed. Thanks anyway. I might be able to do something with the caves though.


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