Machiavelli No.6772
I was thinking of this alternate universe with the intention of a huge series of stories. But by dropping the backstory and stories for each characters // filler which mostly resides in equestria's fantasy theme, i think it would end up better if I detached it completely from the the medieval pone theme, so I can work with sci fi and fantasy, humans with fingers, computers, tracking cameras, mech suits, real technology along with magic.
I should just keep it in one contained fic about wars and diplomacy, if I don't want to characterize each nation as much as Avatar did.
The ending arc story ends up being about Twilight discovering her parents in prison, same for the mane5 which got captured right inside Equestria and sent on a different planet called Acropolis of Xanatos, with a superior army - perhaps chaos marines mixed with earth&fire nation. A planet which Equestria supposedly has a peace act with.
Twilight beats Celestia and takes control of the army with the help of celestia's two advisors(Iroh and Jasmine).
(before the above happen)Luna makes it seem like shes trapped for 50 years by Celestia, Celest did so because Luna wanted to start a war with the Acropolis planet. She still proceeded to work on her army from remote areas but at a slower pace, she still managed to concentrate on making a decent amount of elite squadrons and very capable spies.
Equestria wins the war mainly because of their opponents having too much corruption, so most of the population and army fall to the spy generals' control willingly. (like Azula from Avatar, but preferabily by a middle aged general and with actual changes for the better to the people's way of life, not just because plot convenience)
(Luna exiled for just 50 years so it doesn't give the adversary such an immense boost…it's still far too much time considering how real wars go)
(Perhaps I could make Celest eventually give up and side with them so she doesn't end up being such a bitter loser.) But I have a hard time writing her as lovable… her personality I could do it, but as a plot device, function and her actions, no I suck at it, I always saw these type of asian masters''Trust me and do everything I say cause I'm god'' to really need a kick in the jaw and a solid fat reality check.
The summary of the pilot is only related to the arc story by making Luna accepted by Celestia so Luna can build her army faster(also under the pretence that the monsters are multiplying), and something not so related - Twilight learns dark magic from Luna herself, and if we go with the standalone story arc then Luna also directly tells the location of Twilight's parents.
Nightmare's defeat is faked, she makes Twilight convince Celestia that Luna was being mind controlled…or something more believable which I'm sure better writers could come up with.
Either Luna makes the proposition to Twilight a few days before the sitch of Nightmare Moon returning or she makes it on the go while they're battling and teleports Twilight to her castle.
A thirty year old Twilight Sparkle has returned from her adventures, just in time for NightmareMoon/Luna's planned arrival.
(All the adventures would be detailed later, but keep going in this direction and you have over 50 different stories to tell)
SCENES
Twilight takes a break at her second house in ponyville - A good looking mansion, and sits comfy listening to jazz music and drinking whisky while reading War and Peace.
Nightmare's minions infiltrate the mansion by climbing on walls. I wanted this to be an action part but that's a dumb cliche…I'll tell you why it shouldn't be soon.
Either Nightmare sends crappy minions with no diplomacy skills or Twilight is caught in a bad alcoholic moment, doesn't wait and kicks their asses with style.
Twilight changes the music from jazz to metal and proceeds to beat the uninvinted guests by breaking most of the room.
Then a second wave comes in the trophy room with weapons, the music switches to smooth instrumental and Twilight swiftly kills them or kicks them out the room, keeping everything intact. Just one shadowbolt tells Twi to stop, with an artefact in the hand err hoof, Twilight approaches the shadowbolt while smiling and evil laughing and telling him to do it, he gets scared shitless and the artefact burns his hand. Twilight non chalantly asks herself if she set it to self-destruct, which makes the last minion run off. Twilight puffs over it and then presses a button, a slice of pizza comes out. Ends up it was a mini oven with a custom design, made by Twilight.
(Should put this one action scene somewhere else and thus break break the cliche of stupid antagonists making offers to the hero just after they attacked them, but I'm a sucker for action scenes with characterization)
Celest contacts the other 5 to join Twilight in the Everfree Forest. Nightmare is at first characterized as a very fast silent killer, and later as a playfuly seductive vixen. Before Twilight goes into the mission, she stacks up on potions and artefacts so she can stand a chance against the god and the entire army.
I want there to be a recurring theme about planning ahead.
FILLER
That's about it for the pilot. Other things are about the other 5 characters and a somewhat modified Equestria.
Rainbow Dash is a very bubbly and playful Peter Pan that keeps joining different flying teams till she decides what her own flying team should be about. She first joins the Wonderbolts, Luna's shadowbolts, The Comeeters(which operate in space) and finally the Storm knights which are the aerial army. There could be more.
Applejack is practically Batman&Zorro but with David Xanatos' personality. She pretty much cleared her racing city of any crime, but got really bored turned it into Las Vegas. In the backstory she starts off with no sense of humor because of the crime rate and then recovers it, creates the city of lights and then gets married. Was thinking of Batman evolving from his old grouchy self into a character with actual personality and goals beyond revenge.
Fluttershy is focused on action, majorly tomboyish but in a calm way. Fluttershy is a powerful nature fairy that defeats giant beasts to garner their power or rule them, but is still a hippy listening to celtic music(at least what the lazy hippies always dream of becoming). She lives in a exquisite deer/elf polis. When Twilight was adventuring she helped take down a large beast and got along with Flutters which gave her the ability to morph into different ponies and races, even gender. Twilight kept the head as trophy and Flutters the spirit.
Pinkie is less bubbly, she used to be the captain of a group of sky pirates and constantly changes jobs & roles in the lookout for riches, but knows how to have fun. Her cousin Minty is more bubbly.(Rainbow makes business and grand pranks with Pinks, like fred & george). She'd take control of a circus, the A-Team, pulls off major heists,goes psycho deadpool,plays the jester stereotype for a few times, sings good and releases albums, etc. The character changes from flamboyant mercenary and eccentric salesman to gold-digger pirate engineer to confident witty rebel and ultimately to a mature responsible entrepreneur which can still crack a joke…and still carries a giant apocalyptic robot pony under her house.
Rarity is a secret archer,detective,spy and assassin. Known as a noble, soon queen in a place preferably not related to Canterlot. Born in a rather small country with tons of islands which is famous for personalities with grand achievements.(New Zealand)
Twilight is (adopted? and trained by Iroh,Jasmine and Celest…yep gotta work on it). Twilight is the 'evil genius' rich perverted alcoholic scientist which has middle aged tastes but also young tastes; jazz & metal, whisky & pizza. Just for the hell of it I was thinking of giving her a pet of the week thing; An ice&fire phoenix, a white tiger, a monkey, a giant dragon, a purple singing dog which turns into Cerberus, squirrels with bombs, etc.
Canterlot - A very advanced town filled with adventurous intellectuals and artists that know how to party. They walk on appearing&dissapearing platforms and can instantly teleport(only usable in Canterlot). They often go on trips in gargantuan caverns inside the mountain and they also have snowboarding.
Ponyville - A vacation spot(mostly for casual old people), where there's hot springs, a well done exotic beach like Hawaii(pina coladas are a must), the night sky is very filled and colorful, tons of meadows with a refreshing breeze, managed park forests and weather, and the food is freshly made on the spot due to nearby farmlands.
And Celestia's advisors are Uncle Iroh and Jasmine Lee. Easygoing and a warrior, Adventure junkie and a warrior, respectively.
Iroh/Mako is from Avatar and Jasmine is from Juniper Lee. Don't try to memorize Lee's english voice, it's that bad.