Hail to thee, Ser Azusa. ("Ser" because I learned long ago the danger of assuming one's gender, on the internet.) I come to you with a request, and because your thread just seemed so lonely and pristine.
Tags: [Dark] [Adventure] [Comedy]
Synopsis: I’d like to think there’s a better way to be the first Teutscher to set hoof into Equestria in a millennium. When your best friends are your own sociopathic nature and the guardian angel who appears in your dreams, though, the easy way is probably just wishful thinking. See, the universe is almost certainly out to get me. There’s also the reborn Prince of Darkness, honestly trying to save the world from my angelic friend. The younger Equestrian princess is an utter lunatic, though she is pretty hot. The Equestrian culture, which manages to be both elitist and barbaric at the same time. These six infuriating mares that Princess Celestia apparently sees something in, which is why they’re the heroes. There is no way to tell their stories without telling my own. And if their stories are really just one big confession, then so is mine.
Still, with enough wit, some Prussian ingenuity, an unreasonable amount of ponicide, and my bottomless well of snark, I might just be able to make it out of here alive. Then again, there’s a reason why there’s a big “if” in the middle of my lif
— Chapter I: 4,765, Also Sprach der Engel [Eng. Thus Spoke the Engel]https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aqDO-VKK3eB8ujth7Nw5T4_Kf2_acy_WsMvC5VmwLHc/edit
— Chapter II: 5,673, Nemawaschi [AKA, Chekhov’s Guns: The Chapter]
(At the end of each chapter, there is a link to the other.)
Grand Word Count: 10,438
Notes: Despite Tactical Insertion making a thread post about not being too worried about going through the review circuit that was most certainly aimed at me, here I am. Without that in mind, there are few question I had for you, on top of whatever else you might say/think of about Jericho:
[ ] Is the character of the narrator interesting? Because the Mane Six probably won't show up in this story for a while [at least not at all in the first act], the primary interest of the story should be the narrator. Is the narrator's voice [in the literary sense] neat? Do I accomplish this from at least line one?
[ ] In chapter II, is the character of Lyra (and then Bon-Bon) also interesting? (And that includes how I tried to describe their house in ways that characterized them, too]
[ ] Does everything make sense? This is one the points I'm paranoid about.
[ ] Are the jokes funny? I mean, enough to warrant the [Comedy] tag?
[ ] There are no outstanding grammatical errors, right? What with my outlandish dreams of the EQD, and hopefully giving you another story to put into the “Stories I've reviewed that made it to EqD” list, I'd like to know my grammatical skills.
[ ] Did you know that I thank you very much for your time? Because I do. A lot. Thanks. I await with baited breath to hear your thoughts. Also dankeschön
. Have no
mercy on me, please.
This post was edited by its author on .