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File: 1356744700463.png (67.72 KB, 300x300, 752[1].png)

The Rolling Game Thread Ion-Sturm 2887

No long-winded OP here, folks! The idea is simple: every week, a new writing-related game will begin, with the OP being edited to reflect the new topic.
This week's feature: Song Stories
Music moves us. It can make the most stoic of men cry, the least happy people dance, and the most dull individual inspired.

Find a song you like and write a short scene or story to it.

Challenge Mode: For every minute of music, write one-hundred words, give-or-take 10% of the total as flex-space.
This post was edited by its author on .

Anonymous 2889

File: 1356745445709.png (76.87 KB, 1317x221, deeply encrypted pony language…)

I can't find the image of The Princess Bride "classic blunder - image more interesting than thread", so have this instead.



File: 1356745479985.jpg (73.97 KB, 590x775, ducreux1.jpg)

Ooh, looks like fun.

>"Tumbling sediment accrues no lichen-based growth."

The rolling stone catches no moss.

Mine: The progenitor of this discussion is a male of homoerotic persuasion.

Anonymous 2891

OP is a faggot.

No idea what you're going for on this puzzle, though.

Ion-Sturm 2893

File: 1356748276234.png (48.36 KB, 1344x174, 1317871543808[1].png)

>Googled "classic blunder OP"
>Second picture
Your Google-fu is weak, young grasshoppah.
This post was edited by its author on .

Ion-Sturm 2894

File: 1356748309086.jpg (9.73 KB, 194x259, images.jpg)


Since the anon answered GV's one, I'll provide another.
"Grant the canine its due osseous tissue."


A great song: Give The Dog A Bone

Cease and desist from accounting thine fowls prior to their moment of birth.


File: 1356764877053.gif (Spoiler Image,377.78 KB, 464x260, disco-chicken[1].gif)

I don't want to be half of the thread, that way other users can shine, so I'm going to make a hidden answer without offering a new proverb and let someone else also answer and present their own addition.
Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

Demetrius!WDFBcC5x22 2903

File: 1356765584003.png (96.43 KB, 300x234, TheTreacheryOfPonyImages.png)

> I don't want to be half of the thread, that way other users can shine, so I'm going to make a hidden answer
I read that as
> I don't want to be too big a player, but I'm going to respond anyway and cover it up with hide tags, even though it will still render the next person's response utterly redundant.
Oh god, why even bother posting the deciphered proverb. Well anyway, here's mine:

Being sooner to one's resting place and to waken granteth longevity, prosperity and wit.


> Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Just substituting synonyms in makes it too easy, you know. ;p

Speak with purpose, lest your tongue betray you.

Lemondrop 2908

oooh! A game! Even a lurker like me can't resist this!

"Pulchritude has but a subcutaneous quality."

DemPonies 2909


>Beauty is only skin-deep (me thinks)

Comprehension in small quantity may be hazardous to one's health.

Lemondrop 2910

oh! and >>2907
Think before you speak?


File: 1356780975730.gif (30.7 KB, 576x765, 20111228.gif)

> A little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing.

Not quite.

tactical 2915



Tomatoes aren't fruits?

Ion-Sturm 2927

File: 1356818158974.png (88.66 KB, 595x358, 3c3.png)

Let's try mixing things up a bit.

Twilight bowed, as was proper protocol when in the company of the Princesses (according to Know when You're Dirt Beneath Your Superiors' Hooves for Eggheads, Chapter Four, Section B, Sub-Section Ω).

"You may rise, Twilight Sparkle," Celestia intoned.

Lifting herself up, the unicorn said, "You have a task for me, Princess?"

"A gift, actually." A book that looked older than time itself floated to Twilight.

Twilight suddenly found it difficult to breathe. "Is… is this—"

"The Grift Grimoire? Yes. You have now reached the point in your studies where I feel you possess the maturity to study its contents. Only Starswirl the bearded has ever gazed upon its contents."

Twilight caressed its leather—real leather!—cover, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up as a shiver wound through her body.

"Open it, Twilight," Celestia urged.

With a deep gulp, Twilight cracked open the book. She nearly fell over backwards from what met her eyes.

"Nothing!" she croaked. "There's nothing in this!" Page after page flipped by, each seeming to be more bare than the last.

"Take a closer look."

She did so, her efforts awarded by the reek of burnt nose hairs. Coughing as she scrambled away from the book that had just combusted in her face, Twilight saw the golden glow on her teacher's horn winking out of existence in time with the book's utter immolation.

A wicked grin formed on Celestia's face. "Let that be a lesson."

"A lesson? What are you talking about?"

"Just think about it." With a flash and the smell of burning ozone, Celestia disappeared.
This post was edited by its author on .



Don't judge a book by its cover.

Convenient hunting method in lieu of firearms.

Ion-Sturm 2929

Nope! Note the book's name: Grift Grimoire.
Grift: Deprive of by deceit.
"The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away."

tactical 2931


In that spirit, here's another one:

On the first page of any rogue's diary.

Two birds with one stone?
This post was edited by its author on .

Ion-Sturm 2951

File: 1356930789201.jpg (29.05 KB, 500x336, DgD28.jpg)

Well, I'm stumped.

I'm tempted to say "Two birds with one stone", too, but something's telling me that's not right.

Anonymous 2960

oldest trick in the book.

Ion-Sturm 3360

File: 1358048210253.png (268.24 KB, 679x1050, EnKOA.png)

New topic posted in the OP!


"Rok"= A stone you cannot see.

"Fsh"= an aquatic animal without eyes.

<Warden>!54EdiTorz. 3393

Doenut- A deer-filled meat pastry.

Shephard- A person who finds it difficult to take care of sheep.

Justick- A stick with which you punish the guilty.

(Should the original word be listed anywhere as well?)

Ion-Sturm 3405

File: 1358155497118.jpg (92.27 KB, 640x960, bPZY7.jpg)

Warherse: That which carries dead horses off of the battlefield.

Naw, I managed to translate all of them easily enough myself, so I'd imagine other people wouldn't have too much difficulty. Also, allow me to commend you on "Doenut". Prime stuff right there, my good man.

"Fsh" is an oldie, but "Rok" was, ahem, solid.


"DOk"= when a pastry/bread base is alright.

"romin"= the smallest kind of ancient civilizations.

And a bonus:

Lion-Sturm= a reviewer who will literally eat you alive.

<Warden>!54EdiTorz. 3419

This is actually a lot of fun. Have some more!

Pegassus- An overly flatulent winged pony.

Laborinth- A maze in which scientific experiments are conducted.

Plaquen- To coat with layers of slime.

Fwail- When you try to cry, but just can't get any tears out.

Shovehorn- An object which allows the user to squeeze between any two people.

Forporn- That sad feeling when none of your pornography seems arousing.
This post was edited by its author on .

Ion-Sturm 3423

File: 1358216638064.gif (1.35 MB, 480x273, Beepity Boop Ass radar.gif)


Buttmock: The act of purposefully and audibly passing gas to insult another person.
The Republican senator buttmocked the Democrat speaker during last week's senate hearings.


File: 1358221465354.jpg (103.12 KB, 575x567, FlkTk.jpg)

Flummmoxed: A taste so incredible, it renders one unable to think clearly.


Aggravant: a person who deliberately angers another out of spite or just plain douchebaginess

Sidmonish: defying one's conscious because one has nothing better to do

Ironie: a person unable to understand any form of sarcasm


Indescent Exposure: To be accused of buggering a flight attendant on the flight deck during the final approach.

"Did you hear Captain Forsyth got done for Indescent Exposure?

Ion-Sturm 3441

File: 1358364256390.gif (79.72 KB, 300x168, ill-allow-it-gif[1].gif)

That's two words, though…

Fooly: A folly so grand, only a true idiot could manage it.


>>3441 I like this game!

Philanthorpec: Australian swimmer Ian Thorpe's charitable tenancies.

Oh, God, he's being philanthorpec again.

Ion-Sturm 3452

File: 1358405195040.jpg (34.78 KB, 701x351, mp[1].jpg)

I try.

A little too country-specific for me to get, unfortunately.

Phelped: When a person that is drowning is saved by Micheal Phelps, usually in exchange for a gold medal.


Dissassociation: When an ionic compound separates into it's respective cations and anions, only for the two sides to break out into a 'yo mamma' joke throwdown.

"Yo, Sulphate, let's dissassociate."

"You on, Aluminium (III). Hey, yo mamma had such a big ass, even Sir Mix-A-Lot balked-at-the-sight!"


Sepelate= to divide two or more things/people in an untimely fashion.

Abominablue= an unforgivable color.

Legum= A chewy, European sweet.

Ion-Sturm 3460

File: 1358458803894.jpg (98.8 KB, 852x543, uqN7a.jpg)

I tip my hat for "Abominablue". You're quite adept at this game.

Plewhora: Too many hookers.

Ion-Sturm 3485

File: 1358556776173.jpg (24.57 KB, 460x445, 3AcfX.jpg)

Last day for the current topic!

Kruelty: To torture someone who takes grammar seriously with alternate phonetic spellings.


Clark: An office clerk with a beautiful, almost songbird voice.

Czork: Eastern European substitute for chalk, fashioned from the bark of a certain species of oak, found primarily in North Africa.

Ion-Sturm 3494

File: 1358583250910.png (24.43 KB, 484x507, R0xEv.png)

New topic posted! Picture related.

Ezn!RAopYJNHZ6 3495

This, I can do.

"Her legs went on forever, like a while(true) loop without a break statement."

"The sun beat down on my head like I beat down on that hobo who stole my wallet last week. It was night time."

"The original poster was as gay as a very happy dude sometime in the 1950s."


"The lead of his pencil snapped, and his face erupted with the fury of a thousand suns. However, having never suffered such fury before, this comparison had little credibility and so he would later equate it to a mild stubbing of the toe, or the simmering frustration one feels when one simply cannot find their favorite mug."

"He conducted his thoughts with his finger as a Lit Major would conduct an orchestra: poorly."
This post was edited by its author on .

Ion-Sturm 3565

File: 1358942335530.gif (403.33 KB, 350x400, 5FB9XOJ.gif)

"He fought like an irate Tasmanian devil that had been stuffed into a tight pair of boxers while they were still being worn."


The writer tried to come up with an awesomely funny simile for the internet thread, but his creativity was as dead as something that is dead. And maybe just a little smelly.

Ion-Sturm 3573

File: 1358982861017.jpg (61.95 KB, 517x518, 534.jpg)

"The teacher's monotone voice was like a singularity that consumed all imaginative thoughts."

Soundslikeponies!bQsJPGMNfw 3587

File: 1359010353118.png (162.65 KB, 900x745, vinyl_scratch_by_bengo538-d4jo…)

Twilight's hopes were crushed like a sack of potatoes left at the bottom of the cart for too long.

Applejack felt like a pitiful, drunken prostitute. Only, she hadn't actually sold her body for money yet, so she really just felt like a pitiful drunk, but then again, she hadn't had any drinks so far that night either, so really she just felt pitiful.

She was going to be annoying. She was going to annoy him like a piece of corn stuck between teeth that you can't quite get with your tongue, and you try wiggling it for over ten minutes, feeling like it'll come free at any moment, but then you eventually have to get up to grab a toothpick so you can finally dislodge it from between your teeth. That kind of annoying.

He leaped from the balcony like a strangled goat.

Oh man I could go on with this one like Lance Armstrong on steroids.
This post was edited by its author on .

Ion-Sturm 3589

File: 1359011910103.gif (285.4 KB, 250x188, 21b.gif)

>She was going to be annoying. She was going to annoy him like a piece of corn stuck between teeth that you can't quite get with your tongue, and you try wiggling it for over ten minutes, feeling like it'll come free at any moment, but then you eventually have to get up to grab a toothpick so you can finally dislodge it from between your teeth. That kind of annoying.
So true.

The rock was in as much pain as a cat being put through a meat grinder. Except it didn't feel any pain, since it was a rock, thereby denoting that the cat was deceased prior to being turned into sausage stuffing.


File: 1359012823270.jpg (11.71 KB, 200x189, blue1t.jpg)

"He stood with the audacious nerve of a man caught with his trousers down. At a funeral. For his Mother."

"Ahh, but like the virginity of that young socialite basking in glow of her sweet 16th, we are still lost in the back seat of my 1.5 liter four door Astra. It's got 4 on the floor with overdrive, I'll have you know."

"I held my head high, like a rabbit poking around my Mother's petunias: resolute, brave, and ultimately fodder for the full boar she keeps above the windowsill."

"I like my ponies like I like my women… wait, no, bad example! Don't quote me on that!"

"And Lord Fatherchoum, High Exultant of the Royal Exchequer and Loyal Executioner on High for the Principality of Fatherchoum, DCM, DVM, VC, ACV, (ret) looked upon his official title and thought to himself,'fuck me, that's as long as my dick.'"

Ion-Sturm 3676

File: 1359492123052.gif (1023.44 KB, 380x222, SmLzflZ.gif)

New topic!

Anonymous 3677


1.) Apple bloom was dead, her friends were dying, and everything was ruined, but at least she had been a good lay.

2.) You will like this story, or I will tell my dad.

3.) She thrusted, watching the dog quiver as she pushed deeper with her pride and joy.

4.) It was a drab morning, with drab characters, going about their lives doing nothing special, and today would be no different.

5.) It was a sunny day, but none one notices because they were underground.

6.) This next story is lie.

7.) It was a lonely day in march the day Applebloom got her cutie mark by standing on a rock and doing nothing for a day.

8.) She suddenly had wings and notice they were the shit.

9.) She gulped with the strength of one thousand million suns as she lifted the book with the power of a billion gorillas, her hand shaking like the flaps of fats of a man who weight a ton and had gotten stuck in a dryer.

10.) "Hi girls, I am a exactly the same now, honestly."

11.) Some days, Applejack just wanted to get up and smack a bitch.

I think I failed with all of them.


1. The day had started like any other, with the sun rising above the horizon, but soon something changed and the sun got a little higher.

2. We starting yet?

3. How about now?

4. Snape kills Dumbledore at the end.

5. It took approximately one crap-ton of trees to make these awful books, meaning that by the time you reach the end you will likely die of asphyxiation, with this travesty to humanity being the last thing you know in life before descending into a pit of shame, damning fire and sequels.

!SumPony41s 3683

File: 1359525934007.png (24.64 KB, 295x374, Sum_Pony_is_shitfaced.png)

Twilight Sparkle was one day her library reading a book.

Fluttershy was spraying water at her plants with the hose.

Rainbow Dash was flying faster than she normally flew, faster like the speed of sound.

Applejack looked up to the top of the the sky, and there were clouds.

Rarity walked real fast, thinking "I need to get to where my little sister is because she took another roll of my fabric and I really need it for this dress I'm making."

"Hey, wait up!" Pinkie Pie yelled at the top of lung.


>Twilight was a library

Ezn!RAopYJNHZ6 3685

Woah. I was gonna suggest this for the next game.

It was a beautiful spring day in Ponyville, and spring was mating season.

They were the best of thymes, they were the worst of thymes, and she knew she had to keep them safe from the evil machinations of The Herbalist.

"I hate Mondays," said Twilight Sparkle, "because my spells always go wrong on them and teleport me to strange places."

The cord snapped like one of Rainbow Dash's wings, freeing Twilight to fall to her death.

He looked at his hand, and it was animated in Flash, but to his dismay, an old version.

There could be no escape from that dark pit, just as surely as there could be no escape from taxes, so she waited for the taxman to come collecting and hoped he would bring a rope.

Ion-Sturm 3687

File: 1359533008836.gif (245.87 KB, 500x279, vvihkEv.gif)

I think I know what you were thinking of when you made those.

>It was a beautiful spring day in Ponyville, and spring was mating season.
Best so far.

I suppose I 'ought to contribute to this.

"Great green galloping gazooks!" greeted Grandpa Grungle as he groped for his glasses, which had gravitated towards a gregarious gaggle of grapes.

Applejinx !tDashiepow 3698

File: 1359632854984.png (366.34 KB, 568x542, Screen shot 2011-12-03 at 3.42…)


"Derpy sat petulantly, and looked me right in the eye, and ear."

Eustatian!Wings60m9. 3700

File: 1359649547744.jpeg (10.53 KB, 194x259, imgres.jpeg)

Absolutely nothing amazing ever happens here in Ponyville.

"Oh for fuck's sake, Fluttershy!"

She pulls this shit whenever she feels like it: just no-show for her shift, and as always that leaves you, the other pizza-delivery pegasus, the reliable one, holding the bag, and all you can say is that somepony better make up for it (you know what you want, you filthy pony) or you'll… or you'll buck up, shut up, and just do it because deep down inside you really are a pushover, aren't you?

"Now where did I put my tire iron?" mused Pinkie Pie.

It was the first of May, and Fluttershy knew what that meant.

"But if you don't play with us, Scootaloo, who will be the Princess at our tea party?" pleaded Pumpkin Cake.

This is the best story ever because it stars best pony.

Does it make me a bad person that I want to actually use some of those?

Ion-Sturm 3702

File: 1359660270293.gif (421.91 KB, 500x250, Y2bsH1h.gif)

I think this might actually be a good opening.

>Does it make me a bad person that I want to actually use some of those?

An example from the site's winner list:
Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories. — Sue Fondrie, Oshkosh, WI


This is my story about when I went to Equestria and met the Mane Six and they were my friends.

Casca!blANCA/Sq2 3705

File: 1359685301043.jpg (152.59 KB, 704x1182, koutetsushin_jeeg.jpg)

10/10 would not read again

To be fair, I'm finding a lot of these to be interesting openings…

i woke up this mroning turned on my computer and watched another episode of MLP: FiM, like every other day because I was a brony.

Ion-Sturm 3710

File: 1359691968900.jpg (11.95 KB, 300x273, a7a.jpg)

Good to see you, Snark.

Bestest fic evar.

Twilight had, at the time, taken the suggestion as an insult but, upon testing it for herself, she had found Rainbow Dash's retort of "Go sit on your horn and spin" to be quite relaxing.

Eustatian!Wings60m9. 3714

Must. Stop. Talking. Like William Shatner. I mean, "laughing."

So, thanks guise for like my story ideas so far, u r teh best!!1 Now it's time for me try an rite some bad ones.

It has been one thousand yaers since TWilit Sparkle and her friends were the elements of Harmeny and now things were different.

Oh shit it's dr. Tran and he was about to meet some ponies today.

Oh god yes it was a beautiful spring day in ponyvile of course because Rainbow Dash had made it that way and now the icing on the cake was how she was looking down her chest and Twilight's horn and ears were so cute the way they poked through her mane as they were having oral pony lesbian sex.

Rodinga !vL.TDTGrPw 3727

Rainbow Dash woke from her slumber to discover what had occurred last night had just been a dream, except for Octavia, that was horrifyingly real.

Anonymous 3730

Guys, we are all doing these wrong… except maybe Casca, because all of those sound like interesting openings in the hand of someone actually good.


Of about three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Edward was a vampire.

Second, there was a part of him–and I didn't know how dominant that might be–that thirsted for my blood.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Bleeding Rain!DROPScczL2 3890

File: 1360084912480.png (34.33 KB, 94x107, 132707665545s,png.png)

>Twilight summary is worst opening

Ion-Sturm 4216

File: 1361134585469.gif (1.73 MB, 200x135, xgPJV.gif)

New topic!

Assailant Compendium of Steve 4217


"So, this is the new princess, eh? Pfff, what a trifle."

"Who are you, and why did you blow up Ponyville!?" Twilight shouted with a stomp of her hoof.

The demoness in purple satin merely flourish her hair with a smirk. "What does it matter? Mortal dwellings like these have no bearing on those with godly dispositions. And neither do their inhabitants for that matter, fu fu fu."

"Those were my FRIENDS!" Twilight screamed, her horn beginning to radiate white-hot rage. "Just what are you!?"

"Why, I'm just a neighbor of the celestial plane stopping by to pay a friendly visit. What is wrong about that?"

"Wrong?" Twilight's focus twitched briefly, then reinforced with righteous fury. "You killed ponies without reason!"

"I say making a fitting entrance is reason enough," the demoness said flatly as she looked over her nails casually. "I say boredom is the biggest crime a goddess can commit. And besides, if you cared so much for these 'friends' of yours, you could've stopped me easily."

Twilight's jaw slacked as her eyes began to water. In that short timespan her tormentor cackled.

"Or perhaps you're still new to this godhood? Well, in that case, I better encourage your growth since I'm all fired up." The demoness reached behind her and pulled out two slick, ivory blades and gave them a twirl. "Otherwise, I could just knock out some unworthy competition."

"You… You monster!" Bringing up her jaw for a hard grimace, Twilight planted her hooves and spread her wings, allowing her enhanced magical prowess to radiate from her body. "You mess with THE WRONG PONY!!"

"Hmph, still thinking you're one of them. There's much to teach you." The demoness brought up her blades with a cunning grin. "Now shall I start this dance or should you?"

Twilight shook the air with a mighty, hurtful cry, and then fired herself at the fiend with the blinding force of a comet. But as she was about to impact, a jarring flash wiped out the surrounding area and brought everything to a crawl. In a split second Twilight's vision returned and revealed that she was adrift in a vast cosmos, just outside of a nearby galaxy. She didn't have long to ponder this relocation as her opponent appeared a few yards before her, hair held aloft by a seething dark energy and a fatal smile taking up most of her face.

"Welcome to the Battleground of the Gods, Lavender."


File: 1361138510457.gif (386.8 KB, 476x556, hZlfb.gif)


Magus Compendium of Steve 4220


A fireball scorched the side of an oak tree just as the unicorn got up from her dodge roll. She barely had time to get her mane from her eyes when she was hit by a derisive chuckle.

"Wahahahaha! You really call yourself a magician?" taunted the ordinary witch girl in black.

"Of course I am! Trixie is but the most powerful magic wielder in all of Equestria!" the unicorn replied, in a mixture of anger and poutiness. The witch merely crossed her arms and nodded patronizingly.

"So you say, but all I've seen is some semi-decent sparklers. I'd figured unicorns would be more magical, but I guess they're just plain, deformed horses."

Trixie gasped. "I… I'm not deformed!" She gritted her teeth and aimed her horn the girl, firing off a beam of radiant blue. The magician sidestepped the attack, but it managed to graze the frills of her dress, making it smoke a bit.

"Huh, guess there is something to you types," the girl said, sounding slightly impressed. "Well, I recognize spirit, so I'll give this my all. No holding back whatsoever (mostly)." Reaching into her dress, the witch pulled out a small octagonal object and pointed it at Trixie, unleashing a barrage of pine-green projectiles. Trixie erected a hastily-conjured shield, which succeeded in deflecting the shots but at the cost of knocking her back clumsily into the woods. Getting back up a second time with a twinge of red in her eyes, she was briefly distracted by the sight of the odd pointy-hatted girl floating over her. She looked down at the surprised unicorn with a wide grin.

"Worn out already?" she teased, just before throwing down her arms to fire streams of purplish magic. Trixie rolled forward to let the ground smoulder from the magic downpour, and quickly reoriented herself to return fire with a few quick bursts. The flying girl flipped and spun deftly from the meager counter, and zooming over to the treetops she let out a sigh.

"Right, may as well stop beating around the bush. It was nice meeting you, unicorn, but I got better things to do." The magician girl held out her octagonal tool again, only now it hummed and shook with increasing power. "Master SPARK!!"

A ludicrously massive funnel of light and devastation shot from the object and obliterated the spot where Trixie stood and the forest within a 20 yard radius. When the light column dissipated, the witch floated down to the now-barren earth and smiled deviously amidst the smoke and smells of charred earth. As she turned to find better things to do, a heavy breath made her stop and turn back around. Through the haze of the afterheat, a four-legged figure stood hunched, covered in an increasing glow and surrounded by rising pebbles and bits of earth. The air seemed to shudder as much as the ground before its glare.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie has not even BEGUN to rumble."

Tragic Compendium of Steve 4221


Why… Why did this have to happen?

It just can't be.

It was going so perfectly. Why did this have to happen?

The very last plush horn and ears in stock, and it was taken from me.

I didn't even want that shirt. Just my precious.

Such endless sorrow.

No light. No future. No hope.

I will have my Revenge.

Compendium of Steve 4223


Here I am, running over rooftops and shit, but why?

Don't see the point in doing this but it's ninja shit so eh.

Gotta get over that next roof, throw a shuriken, murder that guy, outrun that dog? What the fuck I don't even know anymore.

Cuz this is my destiny as a ninja, oh yes it's my destiny as a ninja. Upholding my family honor and all that lame-ass stuff. Get with the times I dunno it's no wonder there's no more of us around.

Also why we're doing things that aren't ninja like fighting satan and wearing high-heels and being anything BUT quiet.

Gotta do a mother-fucking pirouette on this bitch, by which I mean rolling midair jump, oh wait that guy with the sword, he knocked me back. Now I'm down in the pit.

God, ninja's have really shitty hit reaction.

Compendium of Steve 4224

File: 1361139624553.jpg (37.33 KB, 400x400, Charlie-Sheen-Spinstyles-Bi-Wi…)


You brought this upon yourself. All of you did. And until this topic changes, there'll be no end.


dolfeus!doseuxbE3s 4225

File: 1361143300309.jpg (6.61 KB, 224x225, Thomas.jpg)


I used to love the sensation of falling. The thick pulse of adrenaline, the faint fear of failing, the hidden part of me that would say, just so softly, Idiot..

"Runtime environment corrupted."

Then there was the jerk. Sweet safety. Sometimes it'd be like part of me was dripping off into the unknown. Some part of me that had kept going.

"Critical architecture failure."

Damn. I loved these suits.

"Reserve battery offline."

Once upon a time. Just one minute ago.

"Communications offline."

Seems like an eternity.

"Life support offline."

Ezn!RAopYJNHZ6 4238

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Oh my, songfics. Double-challenge mode: do challenge mode with this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH_9lJxeiXg


Twilight could barely speak, such was her excitement, but after some hyperventilating she managed to force out, "I've checked and rechecked it five times, and by making all our clothing purchases at Threadbare's Thirdhoof Threadery, we can save… wait for it… ninety-five percent of what we would spend on new clothes!"

Rarity fainted, with nary a couch to cushion her fall.

"Uuh, Twilight?" Applejack asked, sidling up to her. "We were already planning to save money on clothing by just… err, not buyin' it."


"There, there, sugarcube. You meant well, and we all really appreciate your efforts to help out during these trying economic times."

"I don't!" Rarity interjected, regaining consciousness only briefly before slipping back into her faint and making Twilight feel ten times worse.

Pinkie Pie jumped in front of her increasing crestfallen friend. "It's okay, Twilight! It's not like you spent an excessive amount of time that could otherwise have been invested in a job or other profitable pursuit on ultimately futile calculations!"

Twilight slapped her forehead.

"Oh wait…"

Ion-Sturm 4245

File: 1361218815705.jpg (97.18 KB, 472x700, 236994__UNOPT__suggestive_solo…)

Best enjoyed in conjunction with:

Cigarette smoke danced in the air as she casts a sultry glance towards the barkeep. The salt-rimmed glass tipped back and her margarita pulled a disappearing act even a magician would be impressed by. As if there was a crowd demanding an encore, she followed it up with another. And another.

A flash of lightning cast the candle-lit lounge in stark contrast, the stinging sheets of rain and roaring wind no match for the storm of emotions that whorled in her mind.

Cheeks redder than blood and with liquid courage to spare, she weaved her way through the crowd like a crooked needle. Slurred "excuse me"s parted most of the sea of patrons, breath that could pickle a rock encouraging the rest to make way.

The barstool wobbled as it was mounted with all the grace of a fat elephant climbing a ladder. Balancing with precarious audacity, she leaned forward and said, "Hhhhhaaaye dink yer my bes-Hic-bestest friend."

With eyebrow raised, the barkeep replied, "Go home, Berry. You're drunk."

Kazune!/XqhVjvCao 4246

File: 1361223226664.png (133.33 KB, 500x500, 1306008511488.png)


“I can’t believe I’m hearing this from you,” I shot at him.

“It doesn’t mean we won’t see each other anymore. Just not so often.”

I was angry. The bottle in my hoof was close to being shattered, but I just sighed in response.

“Because of her?” I asked, despite knowing the answer. “She wants you to spend less time with your pals and more with her.”

He nodded, avoiding any eye contact. There was no point in me trying to tell him, he was no longer the stallion I knew. He was a mare’s colt.

“I’ll miss our weekly get together. The pranks we pulled on each other.”

“Don’t talk like this is the end. We’ll still get together…”

I stopped listening after that part. I tilted the bottle, chugging down the remains. He fell silent at the sound of bits hitting the table. I was done.

“So,” I started, not sure what I was even going to say. “I’ll see you around.”


We had spent weeks, planning, working, praying.

Here we all are, my friends and I, at the very threshold of EQD. We submitted our combined story almost two weeks ago, and it was finally picked by a pre-reader. After a little inquiry, they promised us an answer by today. When I'd asked again on the IRC about fifty-five minutes ago, they told us it would be done upon the hour.

We wait with baited breath, glued to the screen as I continuously click at "Refresh" on the EQD home page. It's not just a little torturous, to be honest.

We were all so excited when we started the project. Danny had come up with the original idea, while the rest of us had gladly leapt on board and added wherever we found holes or thought a scene would be nice to add. It had taken us over three months, each of us working on it for a couple hours a day, to make the story real. We'd fought and bled and scraped the bottoms of our minds for every dredge of creativity and talent we had possessed.

And, by the end, we'd done it. Though it had taken every ounce of courage to click "send" on the form, we had pushed our little baby into the world, just so other people could see the beautiful thing we had created.

I keep clicking "Refresh", practically mashing the button into the pad beneath the mouse. I know its hard on the thing, but I just have to know.

Soon, I hear Ralph, Danny's younger brother and our authorial second-in-command, whispering to himself as he watches the clock.

"One minute to go," he mutters, shaking the sweat from his hand before rubbing them on his cut-off jeans. Danny puts an arm about his shoulders with a wide grin.

I keep clicking, despite the building cramp in my hand. It feels like an eternity passes before I hear him speak again.

"Danny… "

"It's going to be fine," Danny says. "You'll see."

George, a big, strong looking dude from what must have been deep south, cleared his throat. "We're on the home stretch."

Danny takes up the count. "10, 9, 8… "

I think I snapped some of the plastic on my mouse, but I keep clicking.

"…7,6,5,4… "

I know I've cracked it this time.


The final click. After I press the button, I scan the screen for our story.

But it isn't there. I swiftly use the search, looking for "TwilightxCelestia, Two Alicorns Alone."

Still nothing.

"Danny… "

"It's going to be okay; maybe there was a delay. Can you check the emails, Mark?"

Crap, I knew I should've looked there first. But we'd worked so hard, and we'd read it through so many times, I'm admittedly shocked we didn't see it posted immediately after it was read. So I go to my email and find a new message.

It's from EQD.

We have to scavenge George's mouse from his old, busted laptop, but we finally get the email open.

"To You Guys:" it begins. "I sincerely hope this never comes back. It's incredibly long, incredibly dull, and properly editing it would take weeks. The love is unbelievable and the characters trite and equally unbelievable. 0/5. Moon it hard."






I exit the bank that opens out onto the Manehatten boardwalk. Its been here for centuries, a plaque tells me daily. A trolley trundles across the ageing wooden structure every few minuets.

“Sir. Sir!”

Basil is suddenly by my right.

“We lost ‘im, sir. And the briefcase!”

“What! The briefcase? Celestia!” I cry.

“Quick, sir. Over the street, I see ‘im,” Feathers shoots past Basil and jabs a hoof over my shoulder.

Sure enough, the same stallion in the stove-pipe passes an elderly fellow across the intersection. The briefcase is floating within a greyed aura.

“Well, c’mon, then!” I yell.

Basil takes flight, while myself and Feathers dart across the street.

He’s gone. Basil is looking flustered, forward and back. He’s biting his lip.

“Sir, I see the breifcase! He’s pawed it off, sir.”

Feathers has started running back the way we came, across the street and over toward the boardwalk.

I nod at Basil. he nods at me, and we dart of together.

Feathers has disappeared. We hear a mare squeal, and the thud of two bodies that hit the floor within the throng.

We shoulder our way through the mass of bodies, to find Feathers and a griffon tangled around one another.

“Dammit,” feathers catches my eyes, “I swear he had it sir, I swear!”

“Sir! over by the ferry, sir.”

Basil has already darted into the air, and is soaring toward a young filly. I see the briefcase bobbing upon her back.

Feathers and I make chase, and my hooves pound across the wooden boardwalk.

“Augh!” I cry, crashing to a halt as Feathers yanks my tail back. A trolley, packed with holidaymakers, passes inches from my snout.

I glance back at Feathers, who simply nods. Free of his grasp, I dart off again. We find Basil keeled over, holding a hoof to his muzzle.

“Not the briefcase, sir. Just a school filly.”

The filly in question is staring daggers at Basil and myself, holding her briefcase, which I notice has the words ‘Grahamwell’s School for the Physically Over Blessed’ emblazoned across its face.

“Not the briefcase,” I agree.

Feathers lets out a laugh.

“Aww, bloody hell, sir, you won’t believe this.”

“What? What is it?” I cry, tracking his gaze across the boardwalk and out to sea.

The Grimpen-Manehattan steamer is less than fifty yards from the shore, and shrinking steadily.

My gaze shifts from it’s towering funnels, down past the throng of commuters upon the second floor and toward the bottom level balcony.

There, resting a hoof across the briefcase—our briefcase—is a stallion. He wears a small stove-pipe, and I can see a cane tucked below his left hoof. I can’t see his eyes, but the bastard is smiling, no doubt watching us with his minds eye as our shadows stretch across the boardwalk, lengthened by the setting sun.

Ion-Sturm 5687

File: 1369945800310.gif (1.97 MB, 480x270, YqnkNtm.gif)

I think it's time to ressurect this thread. Anyone have a suggestion for a new topic, or would you like to revisit an old one?


File: 1369952321341.gif (162.08 KB, 441x278, aaaaaa10.gif)

Write a small scene (~100 words), then rewrite it using as many thesaurus, purple-y words as possible?


File: 1369960390137.jpg (142.83 KB, 1024x1024, 7b2.jpg)

Sounds delightfully cringe-worthy. Question, though; does the same person re-write their scene, or will the next person do so and then provide a new one for the follow-up?


File: 1369960568097.gif (1.66 MB, 400x363, raritwitch.gif)

Bad G-Vizzle. Bad.

I say we try writing the first page of a genre or subject matter for which we haven't written yet.

Oh, fine. If you must, go with the chain-like model. Could turn out to be an interesting game of telephone.
This post was edited by its author on .


File: 1369962640664.png (405.09 KB, 1280x1365, 54b.png)

Already a thread for that.
Could use some love.
This one is more about silly fun than flexing our literary muscles.


So should I start?


File: 1370027510969.gif (1.98 MB, 437x180, avVTybv.gif)

No one else has put forward an idea (that isn't already covered by another thread), so go ahead.

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