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Mlpchan's Official /fic/ Write-Off, First Edition 212[Last 50 Posts]

Hello and welcome to the Official first ever MLPchan /fic/ write-off!

Stories: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/47540/Misconceptions
Voting: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ZDWMGLW

Rundown:
– Participants write stories over a 72 hour period
– The stories are written from a prompt given at the event’s onset
– Participants submit their work to an anonymous anthology
– Readers and judges then rate the stories and
– Finally, everything gets wrapped up with author reveals and winners announced

The contest is open to any and all willing participants. All we ask is that you let us know in this thread if you wish to participate.

Times
• Prompt suggestions open Monday, August 20th 18:00 UTC
• Writing begins Friday, August 24th 12:00am UTC.
• Submissions close Monday, August 27th 12:00am UTC.
• Public voting begins Monday, August 27th 04:00 UTC.
• Panel voting begins Friday, August 31st 14:00 UTC.
• Event concludes Tuesday, September 4th.**


Prompt
Prompt suggestions will be taken via this thread from 6pm UST on Monday, August 20th. Eligible Prompts will be selected and discussed via the staff and decided upon by day one of the writing period.
Criteria for Prompts:
- Obey mlpchan and fimfiction’s guidlines
- Do not lock the author into one specific genre or style
- Offer an acceptable amount of creativity
- Are not inherently vague
- Be some short phrase or figure of speech
- Be appropriate for a title of a story

Rules
The rules of the event are:
(1) you adhere to the submission guidelines - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SOTMJXnj_lj1BCE-D3YGDd2erVcE2g5RY77aSp3Y0r4/edit
(2) you start writing only after the prompt is released;
(3) you submit before the deadline;
(4) your story follows all posting guidelines of Mlpchan and Fimfiction;
(5) your story uses the prompt to a reasonable and discernible degree;
(6) your story is not submitted elsewhere until the event’s conclusion.

We, the Staff, reserve the right to disqualify any entry with or without reason.


Voting
Once the stories are collected into an anthology post on fimfiction.net/user/MLPchan_write-off, a public poll will be posted to allow readers to rate the stories. Voters must read at least half of the stories submitted before casting a vote.

After a week, five finalists will be chosen and sent to panel members to have the winner decided.

The judging criteria with which the staff will follow can be found here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hgVW8JSqIp4NVF2fUd9E8-tJJ359689sDrmmClDeBF4/edit

First-place Winner:
A submission to EQD
Stickied thread displaying your fic
A Pinkie Pie brushable w/ mini-DVD
Friendship is Magic coloring book
Blind Bag figurine


**Tentative; meaning it may or may not change according to the Staff's discretion. A 24 hour announcement will predate the final closure.


A special thank you to Roger!DodgeR for letting use his /fic/ write-off formatting, to the Judges for their help and advice, to Anonthony for helping to make this possible and for providing prizes, and to Bleeding Rain!DROPS for his invaluable support.
This post was edited by a moderator on .

!!Applejack ## Admin ## 213

File: 1344909795160.png (215.63 KB, 1500x944)

We'll be watching with eager interest!

Thank you for putting this together and we're waiting with baited breath.

Bleeding Rain!DROPScczL2 214

File: 1344910453808.jpg (58.95 KB, 600x600, 132867926710.jpg)

>>213
Yay stickied!!

Anonymous 215

If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

216

File: 1344917897733.png (158.02 KB, 784x1018, lyra_heartstrings_by_90sigma-d…)

I'd love to take part!

Searzocom 217

Cool. Will be watching

218

I'd like to join.

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 219

File: 1344921856365.png (69.75 KB, 251x265, Scootaloo - 27.png)

>>216
>>218


I look forward to hearing from both of you!

Tactical AttentionWhorse 220

This is happening? Interesting. This board is as dead as a goddamn doornail, and I was getting the feeling that people were okay with it being that way.

Hell, if prizes are happening, I'll play.

221

Oh shit, prizes? Put me down as a maybe.

I have a couple questions, though. Firstly, where do the submissions go?

Secondly,
>12:00am UTC
12:00am is ambiguous, yo. Is that midday or midnight? I'm guessing midnight.
This post was edited by its author on .

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 222

File: 1344932243300.png (127.68 KB, 317x423, Scootaloo - 19.png)

>>220
Awesome!

>>221
My partner had the submission end of things down. (And I just now realized the issue)

I put 12am UTC to avoid confusion. Not everyone is smart enough to understand 0:00

straw man 223

I'd like to take part in this too.

Present!PeRFeCt9JM 224

Oh goddammit there just had to be another writing contest. I like that you're using a similar format to the writeoff but making this it's own contest. This is making me wish you could watch threads on mlpchan, though I guess the sticky helps.

Winner gets submission to EQD though? Not sure if legit.

Anonymous 225

>>224
I think it just means it'll have the nice little gold-star on it's resume of being a Write-Off winner, perhaps submitted with the backing of the site.

>>223
I think I may have to as well… I was stuck in the middle of a story for the longest time, maybe taking a break and writing something else will help me reboot.

Joining the fray... 226

Sure, looks interesting. I'm game. I could use the opportunity to stretch my fingers a bit…

I'm game 227

Alright, let's do this.

Eustatian!Wings60m9. 228

>>224

Oh, anyone can get a submission to EqD. You just fill out the form and press the button. It's getting posted that's the tricky part.

Anonymous 230

>>229
Hehehe… You can link to such things as long as you warn it's NSFW.

Anonymous 232

Going for gold.

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 233

File: 1344991689771.png (62.2 KB, 216x218, Scootaloo - 6.png)

So that's ten participants so far. Very nice!

Present!PeRFeCt9JM 234

>>228
Yeah, that's why I'm going "What?"

But I don't get into these things for the prizes. :V Otherwise I'd never do the writeoff!

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 235

File: 1344992860321.png (133.74 KB, 908x879, Idea!.png)

Just to clarify, the submission is backed with the contest, yes. There is no technical guarantee but if the winner in question needs proofreading done, we (or I) will have it done prior to submission (at the approval to the author)

Other than that, it really isn't the main thing since we can't guarentee it. But a sticky we can guarentee.

Anonthony!EEEEEEEE2c 236

Also, since it always comes up, yes, I have no problem shipping overseas.

Anon 237

Would anamorphic stories be acceptable? Or do they have to be strictly like the show?

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 238

File: 1345002732273.png (147.04 KB, 942x1316, d'aw.png)

>>237
Tell you what: If you've got a good idea, and execute it well, we won't turn you down. As long as it is related to the prompt and has something to do with the pony universe, it is acceptable.

(I hope I'm not opening a can of worms by saying that)

Anonthony!EEEEEEEE2c 239

>>237
>>238
Yeah, as long as you can make it related to the pony universe and related to the prompt, I don't see why not.

No need to stifle creativity.

Anon 240

Grazie. It'd be a shame to scrap my idea, but it doesn't hurt to be sure.

241

I was just wondering…

Seeing as there aren't too many participants yet, I don't feel all too arrogant in asking what would happen if somebody from Europe were to win a prize. Would shipping whatever it is he/she wins be an issue?

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 242

File: 1345009016288.png (142.55 KB, 916x873, scootabounce_by_daringdashie-d…)

>>241
To quote Anonthony:

"I have no problem shipping overseas."

It's all good.

Josh Meihaus 243

Count me in!

244

>>238
I think most questions around that area can be handled by deferring to Fimfiction's rules.

Amar!hEbITNyzxg 245

File: 1345145195756.png (140.43 KB, 407x407, 132665664869.png)

I'll give it a shot.

Anonymous 247

>>242
>shipping overseas

Hehehehe~

im in 249

Why not? I'm in.

Amar!hEbITNyzxg 251

File: 1345481058226.png (355.78 KB, 623x711, 131218340078.png)

I'm excited :D

Anonymous 252

Well, since it seems prompt suggestions just opened, have a few:

1) "Second chances"
2) "After the fact"
3) "Something's missing"

253

YAY! PROMPT SUGGESTIONS! *clears throat*

Um, with that initial fanboy squeal aside, have some prompts:

Cutting Back
Ashes to Ashes
Loose Ends
Losing
Misconceptions

Amar!hEbITNyzxg 254

File: 1345497045381.png (805.17 KB, 611x800, ApplejackNouveauRedux.png)

Prompt Suggestions

"Escape from…"

"Who's cloud is this?"

"Tradition!"

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 255

File: 1345498239705.png (86.47 KB, 276x293, 1344799903381.png)

14 participants, and prompt suggestions being entered.

On a different note, I just spent $100 on music today. SO excited.

trelatyraelis!QHRwIPJrs6 256

I'd like to join the write-off.

Anonymous 257

>>256
Great! Just check the thread for updates as the time gets closer!

258

"Reminisce" seems like a fun prompt, to me.

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 259

File: 1345576479252.jpg (21.48 KB, 500x444, 131041599554.jpg)

>>258
That could definitely be interesting

>>256
You are number 15!

Prompt suggestions trelatyraelis!QHRwIPJrs6 260

"I have a problem."
"Someone's missing"
"Where am I?"
"The day it ended"
"I'm tired"

Tactical AttentionWhorse 261

"The Silver Lining"
"A Beautiful Heart"
"Phase Three"
"Behind Closed Doors"

Anonymous 262

-Meaning well
-Missing your friends
-Trouble sleeping

263

HAVE MORE!

-Persistence
-Flash Mob
-Windows
-40,000 Miles
-Reckoning
-Pitfalls

DM C. Lee 264

I hope I'm not too late to join in! I've never actually done a write-off before, so this seems like the perfect time to start.

Here are some prompt ideas:

Cleaning
Unexpected danger
Changing opinions
Taking a third option
Reputation (good or bad)

265

>>264

Thanks for reminding me of HL2 and Portal. Now I GOTTA post these prompts.

-Prepare for Unforeseen Consequences
-I've been really busy being dead

Tactical 266

Not This Time
In Case of Trouble

Anonymous 268

It's Never Tomorrow
Perception is Reality
Truth or Consequences

pawndidater2 269

I'll give it a go. Should be good for my writing.

Josh Meihaus 270

When are the selected prompts going to be posted? Midnight tonight?

!!Spike 271

File: 1345752227761.png (305.33 KB, 636x505)

>>270
>• Writing begins Friday, August 24th 12:00am UTC.

I would assume it begins at that time.

I need a bigger Spike folder.

!!Spike 276

>>271
That's in two hours and twenty-three minutes.

Anonymous 277

>>276
I'll be sleepin' by then. Sucks to be in this timezone.

THE PROMPT 302

File: 1345766491827.jpg (20.91 KB, 500x500, 527598_334392376636814_7599006…)

MISCONCEPTIONS

Submissions should be send to [email protected] in plaintext with BBCode markup coded in. Once again the Deadline is Monday, August 27th 0:00 UTC. Don’t be late.

Good luck to all of you.

Present!PeRFeCt9JM 303

>>302
Interesting. Reminds me of "not what it seems" from that microfic challenge on ponychan. We'll see where this goes. :)

304

>>302

Am I dreaming? A prompt of mine got picked?

OH HAPPY DAY! (oh happy day) OOOH HAPPY DAAAY~!

305

File: 1345808765359.jpg (15.23 KB, 320x240, _2ml.jpg)

Aww man, it started already?

Sorry to say I've got a busy weekend ahead, so I'm afraid I'll have to drop out.

Good luck to everyone still in the game.

Pascoite!uxy6g7ov9I 306

Oh, hell. I probably don't have time, but just in case, throw my name in the list.

307

File: 1345859371744.png (61.94 KB, 441x357, 319880_334699773272741_7440568…)

I guess I forgot to mention that you should also include your name with your submission, so that we all know who to give credit to when it wins

308

ARGH

I can't even begin to decide which idea to write for the prompt!

Author of "The Chuckleberry Chive" 311

Finally got into writing my story today. Having a great deal of fun. Hope you all like the title! How's everypony else doing so far?

Author of "the hounds" 312

>>311
3K words in 8 hours. Sent it and praying for the best.

Author of "In Time" 313

Just starting. Only like, what, 120 words in.

Going well so far, I guess

Author of The Legendary Hero(ine) Returns? 314

working title.

Started writing late last night. Got about 1500 words which hopefully amounts to about a third of the end product. Thanks to timezones, my writing time ends at 2 PM so doing an editing pass and handing everything in on time might be interesting.

Author of "The Retelling of Myths and Legends" 315

>>314

5 AM. 4000 words. Getting to the end. Close-ish. Have decided not to sleep, because I don't want to sleep through the ending time.

Food supplies low.

Am highly annoyed by the fact that I'm killing myself for this even though I know it's not very good.

author of "the hounds" 316

>>315
You have my admiration.

Author of "The Retelling of Myths and Legends" 317

>>316

OpenOffice says 4998 words was my final count.

The thing is, I really just don't think my story is very good, dammit. It's going to be terrible when everyone says it's just boring and crappy and now there's this permanent record showing that I pushed myself to the limit writing that piece of crap.
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author of "the hounds" 318

>>317
You still put youself in it, that's the point of the thread. also if you add "The End" you can get a clean 5000
This post was edited by its author on .

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 319

File: 1346005550643.png (1.27 MB, 1275x1641, dbe4a2322f4ed42c73bdf5fcf454c0…)

Just letting you all know that submission's will officially end in just under six hours.

Due to the small amount of participants and time zone constraints, we are willing to extend submissions for an extra two hours as long as you Email us before the official closing .

Thank you all for your participation. I look forward to reading what you have completed for us!
This post was edited by its author on .

And... Print! 320

Is there a word count limit? I just finished it at 7831 words. Started writing around 11 AM, and just finished now at 2:50 PM (my timezone). It's a rough draft because I really don't have time to read through and edit it (I'm surprised I found time to write at all this weekend), but I had a lot of fun with it so I hope it comes across in the right way.

Good luck to everyone else! And may the best pet win! (wait, what?)

321

Right, story submitted. Here's hoping it won't do too bad.

Author of "The Retelling of Myths and Legends" 322

>>321

Hooray! I'm awake in time to do an editing pass!

323

File: 1346018721490.png (124.53 KB, 860x929, 131772501272.png)

Gah I'm going to have to withdraw from this competition.

Author of The Legendary Hero(ine) Returns? 324



MIDNIGHT OF THE 3rd DAY

1 HOUR REMAINS

will you be posting everything right after you close submissions?

Figments 325

I'm dropping out. Didn't have enough time to flesh out the idea. Sorry about that.

Can't wait to see what others have?

Author of "All the Colors of the Rainbow" 326

Submitted. Unfortunately, it was rushed, but I make no excuses. It was my best effort, and if it tanks, it does so honestly.

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 327

File: 1346025179621.gif (344.88 KB, 640x360, bloomspin.gif)

>>324
Within reason, of course. I need to wait until Bleeding Raiindrops is around, and we need to sory through certain things. It'll be in by tonight, for sure.

>>320
No, of course not. Quite honestly, that is massive. I'm eager to see what you have done

328

So, submissions are closed?

329

File: 1346026608993.png (225.74 KB, 638x448, 132632137267.png)

Okay, Submissions are now closed. Sorry I dissapeared for the weekend. I've been busy. I have the following entries:

The Hounds
Cautionary Tale
Spar Day
A Research Note
The Chuckleberry Chive
All the Colors of the Rainbow

If you don't see yours here, there's a problem. If I screwed up the title, send me an email.
This post was edited by its author on .

Author of "retelling" 330

>>329

my entry was sent on time, i swear, but to the wrong person! Sarf should be able to confirm that my emails all arrived on time. ): i've reread the OP a dozen times, and I didn't realize what was wrong…

331

>>330
I sent you an email.

332

File: 1346030731386.png (330.57 KB, 960x786, 70's pinkamena.png)

>>324
I haven't gotten an email from you. Did you send it in? It will still go up if you send it in late, but it will be marked as a late entry and will not be eligible for voting
This post was edited by its author on .

Author of "retelling" 333

>>332

Yes you have. The name was changed.

334

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>>333
Gotcha, we're good then.

Author of "The Chuckleberry Chive" 335

>>329
Only 6 entries? We could have had 9 if not for people dropping. Oh well, first contest on a new board and all.

And unlike the rest of you, it seems, I enjoyed the heck out of writing my piece and I'm pretty happy with how it came out. Not perfect butt fun. I'm looking forward to seeing what everyone else did!
This post was edited by its author on .

Author of "Cautionary Tale" 336

>>329
So few entries? Hmph, if I'd known that I may have done more, but all well. Congrats to all who made it anyway :)

337

File: 1346040148441.png (115.75 KB, 800x600, 132631991036.png)

The anthology is up mostly, so go read and rate those stories.
Anthology page: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/47540/Misconceptions
Pasword: misconceptions

If any errors are discovered, send me an email and I will do my best to fix them.
This post was edited by its author on .

Author of "The Retelling of Myths and Legends" 338

All right, let's do this.

I forget who started putting out their reviews with silly little not-synopses, but it's a fun idea and I'm stealing it. So:

Cautionary Tale: In which another mysterious lost civilization breaks off contact with the outside world after relations with the white man go sour. Humans are bastards. Always.

I have always thought that writing fanfiction about seaponies was a cute and funny idea, but this one just fights itself all over the place. I actually like it when stories have a kind of "tell" instead of "show" format, but in this case it hurt the story's ability to have emotional impact. You could have made the tell-not-show work, but you didn't. This feels rushed. It's so short that there's no reason you couldn't have given it a thorough editing pass, which could have helped numerous flow issues.

The meaning of the ending line isn't made clear. I enjoy using repetition as a device like that, but in this case you didn't build it up properly.

Also, when you think about it… this is G3.5 fanfiction.



Spar Day: In which Rainbow Dash brings all the gals to the yard, except for Rarity, who struggles tragically with a horrible disease that causes her to talk to herself.

This is the big one, so I'm gonna have a lot to say. I'll try to keep it to the most important issues.

First and foremost, I'm going to be that guy and say that this dragged. I had to force myself through the first third of your fic. Rarity's crush on Rainbow Dash is groan-inducingly cliche, so you need to let the joke develop past that territory a lot faster.

I have a bias against verbal thoughts i.e. those that come out in italics, like the character talking to themselves. I find it unrealistic: You don't "think" your opinions in the form of sentences, right? Half of this damn story in those kinds of verbal thoughts. This makes sense for when Rarity is actively thinking something through, but when you use it as often as you did here, it gets monotonous.

Example of how you can cut down on verbal thoughts: Rarity does NOT need to actively think about and rationally work through her disdain for Rainbow Dash ALL the god damn time. It can be an emotional thing some of the time, told through word choices and brief half-sentence asides that show how Rarity feels about certain things. Also, using single quotes for such thoughts is confusing. Stick to italics, I think.

You never explained what Applejack was doing with Rainbow Dash that would be even more fun to do on a cloud.

I feel like the angle of Rarity's bi-questioning is an orphaned idea, left hanging as an awkward afterthought due to the time limit.

This surely did have a lot to like. There were moments where I liked your humor, and the punchline was cute if a bit clumsily deliviered. Mainly, I just felt the need to complain at you about how fucking boring Rarity was at a lot of points. I know you want to let Rarity be Rarity, all overthinking and thinking she knows what's best, but it's way too much.
This post was edited by its author on .

339

I only just now noticed your email asking me to send you my submission in a different format. Sadly, I'm running late for something right now, and don't have the time to spare. It'll be another few hours (bloody time zones).

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 340

File: 1346046246633.jpg (32.36 KB, 700x527, 131039225778.jpg)

'The Hounds' is officially up, so public voting can officially start.

As well, it seems my partner and I had a miscommunication as far as deadline. If your fic is somewhat late, there will be no disqualifications. We needn't lose any more participants.

I'm kind of disappointed, though. We had 15 participants, and only 6 submissions.

Author of "The Retelling of Myths and Legends" 341

The Chuckleberry Chive: In which industrialization comes to Ponyville, bringing about a new age of holy crap a musical bit what is this oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh

I don't even know what to say about this one. That song.

Here's a criticism: Not all of your cute little "it's a cartoon, I ain't gotta explain shit" moments are played quite as perfectly as they could have been. I particularly mean "Apology accepted!" That moment could have been built a little. As it is, we just kind of flow past it, which is a shame, because of how hilarious it is for Pinkie to pull her dress off and have balloons and confetti come out from underneath.

I also think that "Yes Pinkie it IS parasprites all over again" is a rather disappointing resolution even if that's not how it really is. See, it SEEMS that way because of the "apology accepted" moment and the little build-up to it what with Pinkamina.

There are just so many things about this that are absolutely wonderful. I need to know who you are.

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 342

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>>341
>>338

I appreciate your taking time for criticism and review. Maybe I'll even hire as a judge for next contest, hm? Make sure to hit me up with an email and we'll talk things through. But note this has no effect on your stance in this contest

At this moment, I am avoiding reading the submissions until public voting is done. I am a very heavy critic and will probably pick apart your submissions thoroughly. Be very afraid!
This post was edited by its author on .

Author of "The Retelling of Myths and Legends" 343

All The Colors of the Rainbow: In which Rainbow Dash realizes she's not getting the attention and adoration she desires from—NO. WE ARE NOT GOING THROUGH THIS AGAIN. GET OUT. YOU TOO, PACKRAT. I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP.

Nice hook! This probably has the best flow so far, which really carries it, to me. Most of what I have to say about this is nitpicking. Little hiccups in character voices and such.

The sappy ending works well; nice way of delivering the moral.

I don't have the energy to talk in more depth about this because I liked it a lot, so I don't have anything obvious to talk about. Good show. Moving on.

Author of "The Retelling of Myths and Legends" 344

The Hounds: THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY HEE HEE HA HAA HOO HOO well I mean they already did, but you understand.

Anything I could say about this character's madness would be strictly "in, like, my opinion." I wouldn't write a character in a straightjacket and a padded room, but you're working with a gag character who was meant to be this archetype, so there you are.

Not sure how I feel about the ending. It doesn't feel like an appropriate punch line. While I am glad it wasn't changelings or something, you've taken a gag character, turned it into something really interesting and scary, then giving it a very straightforward ending. It's not a "reveal" because it doesn't subvert expectations really; it vindicates the character who's been talking to us. It's not surprising; more like confusing because we, like the doctor, have to go and look up the meaning.

Whatever, though—the way you wrote this is pretty amazing. The way the character's condition progresses, the emotion in his voice, it's pretty impressive.
This post was edited by its author on .

Author of "The Retelling of Myths and Legends" 345

>>344

Oh one more thing.

I loved the voice in his head! I wish you'd given that little aspect some kind of resolution at the end.

Author of "The Chuckleberry Chive" 346

Stories are up, I'm excited!

>>341
Who am I?

Why, it says very clearly at the top of this post! ;3

347

File: 1346079775730.png (68.2 KB, 121x113, 132720633870s.png)

>>342
I'm doing the same thing. I wouldn't want to form an opinion before the judging phase.
This post was edited by its author on .

Author of "The Retelling of Myths and Legends" 348

>>342

That's how we normally do it in the write-off. There are so few here that I'll be rather disappointed if the other authors aren't also all able to comment and vote and such.

It's also just nice. Do unto others, right?


On to my last review:

A Research Note: In which Twilight reads a book.

Sorry, I don't get this one. Maybe I would have, if this had successfully built to a big anti-climax, but it didn't build, it just wandered. Some kind of escalation, where you SHOWED us Twilight going Lesson Zero on us instead of just bringing in Rarity to be worried about it, would've helped. I also find one bad plothole here: The reveal was found on the final page of the book? Most of the book was damaged beyond repair, so it would have taken almost no time at all for Twilight to make it to the end. The entire idea is kind of bland IMO, and you didn't build up to the punchline nicely anyway.

Author of "All the Colors of the Rainbow" 349

>>344
>I wrote something like this for my minific contest
Staying anonymous, are we?

Author of "The Retelling of Myths and Legends" 350

And finally, the last one: My own.

The Retelling of Myths and Legends: I'm not gonna bother.

I wouldn't want anyone's perception of my work to be colored by my comments, so this is spoilered.

This began as an outline in my head that looked like this:

Characters are putting on a play, arguing about historical facts

Villain from the play attacks Ponyville, thinking one of the m6 is the hero

Character pretends to be the hero in order to keep the villain in a duel instead of destroying Ponyville.

Both parties in the argument were wrong about the historical conflict

Character defeats the villain, who goes off and starts spreading new misconceptions about the hero

This fic got derailed badly by the fact that the villain's intro is actually rather dark. This quickly lost its uniqueness and became a monster-of-the-week story, and I didn't even choreograph a fun fight scene. Maybe I just stink at plotting.


>>349
stop being smarter than me I hate you

but i went and edited it out just for you
This post was edited by its author on .

Author of "The Chuckleberry Chive" 351

I hate to be a booger, but has the poll been posted?

Author of "Cautionary Tale" 352

File: 1346127449224.gif (12.01 KB, 650x450, Evil AH.gif)

>>338
Oh s***, I think they're onto me! D:

Well Mr. Astute Reviewer, since you've gone through the trouble of making a blacked-out explanation for your story, I feel I shall do the same for my pitiful array of words!

When I first learned of this writing contest, I had no intention of participating, though that didn't stop me from getting an idea involving Seaponies with some help from sweet Touhou music.

When the contest was underway, a good chum of mine bemoaned his inability to write anything. I decided to antagonize him by writing up a quick prologue and submitting it to the contest faster than he did. It's kinda my sick way of encouraging people to get with the writing. Sadly though he dropped out, making my efforts for naught DX

In short, I made this thing as quickly as possible in order to submit it as possible. No bother for editing, beefening, or any some such. Just a rough draft entered in the spirit of playful spite, and also entered in a dreadful arrangement. When BR said plaintext, I thought "leave it as it is after hitting the plaintext button." If anything, that's the thing I'm most embarrassed about.

Now that that's cleared up, bring on the hate if you so wish!

353

Just out of curiosity, is there another competition coming up, anytime soon? I'd like to see how I do with a prompt I actually have a decent idea for.

Anonthony!EEEEEEEE2c 354

File: 1346167614559.jpg (117.87 KB, 1024x768, 03 4chan.jpg)

>>353
I think we should do this from time to time, yes. Just my thought on it as a user. Some people find competitions in terms of fics and art to not be a great idea, but it's usually a lot of fun for people, and I think, especially 3 day write-offs like this and such, they get a writer's juices flowing and get them thinking about their writing, and perhaps good practice for their writing skills. So yeah, I'd be all for some more of these, especially once the season starts and people get new ideas from the show to write about.

355

File: 1346195000703.png (343.66 KB, 900x831, pinkamena what.png)

>>351
… It hadn't actually. Forgive my negligence. Here is the link for Voting: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ZDWMGLW
This post was edited by its author on .

An Announcement! 356

File: 1346195473069.png (63.19 KB, 256x256, it's cool, just post poni.png)

Due to there being only sixseven entrees in the contest, after much discussion, we've decided to hold onto the second and third place prizes until a future competition. Only the first place contestant will receive a prize this time.

Author of "The Chuckleberry Chive" 357

>>355
Thank you!

>>356
Kind of unfortunate, but I understand why it's being done.

Author of "Cautionary Tale" 358

>>357
NOOOOOOO, and I so wanted that McDonald's figurine! As though I'd actually win it

>>354
I'd agree, this contest certainly got me writing juices a-flowin', and may even give me the umph to proceed and make a full-fledge. Who knows what ideas another contest would set off in my head?
I'm thinking I'll try Alice

author of "the hounds" 359

>>356
I understand the situation; when half the contestants can leave winning, it's just not right. May the best win the grand prize!

Author of "All the Colors of the Rainbow" 360

>>337
Wait, it's still not publicly visible? How are we going to get readers?

Anonymous 361

>>360
Yeah, Bleeding, it's gonna need to be publicly available/no password so fimfic can read it. Might want to also make some rounds announcing it/spreading it, to fic IRC groups, etc. =)

Anonthony!EEEEEEEE2c 362

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>>356
Let me know when you make them publicly available and start spreading the anthology to readers as such >>361 and I'll give it some more visibility elsewhere as well.

Author of "The Retelling" 363

Man. People just aren't interested in using this contest for feedback, huh? Only the one guy even responded to my review much less wrote some of their own.

Author of "All the Colors of the Rainbow" 364

>>363
I will. Just give it time. I plan to read them this weekend.

Author of "Cautionary Tale" 365

File: 1346300088129.gif (716.23 KB, 448x292, U mad fillies.gif)

>>363
Well as I more or less inferred, I didn't come into this contest to sport my fantastical wares or even get feedback. But really, I was the only one? That, kinda makes me sad, and also a bit smug.

I'm even more special, HYES!

Anonthony!EEEEEEEE2c 366

File: 1346301981520.png (21.88 KB, 393x469, cool story - sitting.png)

>>363
>>364
>>365
Myself as well, as you might imagine I haven't had a ton of free time, but thankfully I have a long appointment tomorrow and I'll have a decent chunk of time to sit on my laptop and read, and I can get to the stories and offer some critique.
>Note, I'm not a practiced reviewer or anything, and I've only ever -completed- one fic recently, but I will offer some critique

author of: "the hounds" 367

File: 1346320023086.jpg (156.41 KB, 1360x768, HoundofTindalosjameswolf.jpg)

>>360
Never! *evil laughter*

but yeah, it's a new chan contest, don't expect hundreds of views. The winner gets a submission from EqD with a golden star attached that says "he's won this micro write-off, so you might want to check him out" but basically he doesn't get a free pass for EqD. Then again, as I repeated before, this is still an incredibly small chan, so even if it gets stickied, you won't get too many views. If you're playing for fun(and those delicious first prize), the you've entered the right contest! If you're trying to get views… not the best, really.
>pic kind of unrelated but not so much

368

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>>360
>>361
>>362
I'll talk to Sarf first if I can, but I had planned on making it public visible tonight.

Author of "The Chuckleberry Chive" 369

Don't despair, folks! We've still got, what, three, four days left? I myself have only gotten halfway through the entries and plan on posting everything at once. Courage, fellows!

370

File: 1346376615980.png (142.83 KB, 511x528, pinkamena squee.png)

Okay, so sorry I'm late. [insert dumb excuse here] only five of you voted although that could be due to me not putting up the voting soon enough but here are the top five stories right now, and are what will be looked at by us judges.

The Retelling of Myths and Legends 7.0
The Chuckleberry Chive 6.75
All the Colors of the Rainbow 6.75
The Hounds 6.60
A Research note 6.00

Anonymous 371

>>370
Are you gonna take the password protection off the stories?

372

File: 1346386277021.png (117.96 KB, 945x945, shrugpony pinkamena.png)

>>371
That's up to Fimfiction. I submitted the anthology to be made public this morning. I'll send one of the moderators another message.

!!Spike 374

File: 1346404035630.png (282.83 KB, 720x720)

>>372
>I'll send one of the moderators another message.
That won't be necessary. Password protection only applies to stories that aren't public.

Author of "The Chuckleberry Chive" 375

>>370
Wait, is the voting over?

Fucking shit. :(

author of: the hounds 376

>>375
yep. I feel sorry for the author of spar day though; 8 thousand words and not a vote. Guess perople aren't into "long" fics.

Anonymous 377

Well, it only says "panel voting begins" today, does the public voting continue? We could/should extend it a bit.. I sent an email to EqD and they said they'd put it in the roundup that the writing part of the contest was finished and the fics were up for reading/voting.

Author of "All the Colors of the Rainbow" 378

Oh crap. I never voted. I figured that like the PC write-offs, the public voting would be for a week. Well, I missed it. I'll still read the entries and give short reviews.

Author of "The Retelling" 379

>>378

w-wait, i voted on all of them

What went wrong?

author of: "the hounds" 380

>>379
I voted on them all too. didn't think it was a problem.

Anonymous 381

It looks like you can still vote, so I did. Why not, right.

Anonymous 382

so far the ones who keep having the most views are
the hounds and the retelling of myths and legends.

Author of "The Chuckleberry Chive" 383

Being more accustomed to the ponychan writeoffs, I figured we'd have until Saturday if not Sunday to finish everything. I simply haven't had the time this week. But there's a three day weekend ahead of me, so have all my reviews!


Cautionary Tale: What is with the weird paragraph formatting? Is that intentional? Well, this kind of quits before it gets anywhere. The fairy tale storytelling approach really does it no favors, either. Not enough is explained, and too little is left to the imagination.

Spar Day: Nice weather report! Okay, it's Rainbow Dash, I get it. Also Rarity is shallow and somewhat homophobic, and thinks poorly of her friends. In fact, it hardly feels like Rarity and Rainbow are friends at all in this. She's horribly characterized, not to mention the writing is very telly, and this just is not a good setup for a ship in the least. I feel bad, because a lot of work obviously went into this, it being the longest fic in the contest, but it doesn't seem to have paid off in the least.

All The Colors of the Rainbow: Normally I'd chafe at the sheer number of cameos in this, but I think they were all handled fairly well, even Photo Finish and her continuous spouting of catchphrases. Good lord but that picture is adorable. Nice ending, if a bit contrived, but the point gets across well. I can't help but feel this is missing something, but that might just be due to the time constraints.

The Hounds: The narrator reveal is extremely clunky. I really could have done without it. The narration voice has some issues, some breaks that don't feel intentional, or at least could have been used better, like "I don’t care for the flies and maggots, the more the merrier." It just doesn't sound right. Mostly, the stream of consciousness gets a little too coherent at times, and that's when things become telling instead of showing, and we all know about that. A lot of the things she rambles about come across far better. The part where she's writing the name is the most gripping sequence of this entire thing, leaving me quite paranoid. More like that would have made this excellent, but for now it stands as merely ambitious. (As an aside, I had to go look up the name: excellent use of crossover to explain a character trait, but it doesn't work if you're not familiar with the source, sadly! I would love to see this refined later.)

A Research Note: The concept of the 'hook' is very important to writing. Had I not been reading this with a purpose, dedicated to finishing it, I'd have stopped after that opening dialogue. "Assification" made me laugh. I hope that wasn't intentional. This story seems like much ado about nothing, though. I could almost accuse Twilight of holding the Idiot Card, though I'm not sure that phrase actually applies in this case. But that scene with Rarity, it's just continually the same thing being said again and again. Same with Spike wanting to nap. I really just have to wonder what the point of the whole thing was.

The Retelling of Myths and Legends: Now that's how you start a story. I love where this went, too, with the Countess actually showing up. What a grand idea. The continued attack count keeps that scene dire. The fight scene could perhaps be expanded nevertheless. That is so hardly an ending, though. This definitely suffers the curse of the first draft, and anything I could offer could easily be bundled under "Just work on it some more", but I very much enjoyed this and, if anything, would like to see more. This could make a splendid first chapter(s) of a longer work.

I'll a give top 3, since there's so few entries to choose from:
1) The Retelling of Myths and Legends
2) The Hounds
3) All the Colors of the Rainbow

Anonymous 385

>it's september 1
>event finishes september 4
where them reviews at?

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 386

File: 1346524745570.png (2.54 MB, 2222x2222, aa15b7fc1cc2c70c71f9c0f9e15331…)

>>385
September 4th was tentative, I would like to add.

And the reviews will be published along with the announcement of the winner.

!!Spike ## Mod 387

File: 1346549274220.png (282.83 KB, 720x720)

Added links to stories and voting to OP as told. You might want to add the voting link to the compilation post on FIMFiction, too.

Reviews, part 1 Author of "All the Colors of the Rainbow" 389

As promised. I won't bother spoilering, because if you haven't read them by now, chances are you're not going to.

Cautionary Tale
Okay, I know this one wasn't done seriously, but anyway… Some interesting imagery, but very telly overall, and I was never sure what was really going on. Who is in the ships? Ponies? They're not predatory, so I don't know why they'd be fishing. It's also not clear why the sea ponies, as intelligent as they are, would be enticed by the hooks. Short fic, short review. Bottom line: you beat your friend to the finish line.

Spar Day
Some formatting and mechanical issues, but nothing overwhelming.
>found herself in an unknown pony’s embrace
I expect the next sentence to follow from this, either that she literally is being hugged, or that she's enthralled with someone. However, we just go back to her musings. It feels very out of place.

Hm. We're certainly hit over the head quite a lot here. A little subtlety goes a long way. Not only with Rarity being oddly dense about everything that's happening, but also with the heavy innuendo, which I can't tell if it's supposed to be humorous, and the show-versus-tell.

Alright, the last line was a nice twist. But the whole thing felt like a joke played out too long. We're hit over the head with it the entire time, and it would have been better to play it more subtly. Part of the problem is Rarity's constant inner monologue. We're getting exposition dumped on us every so often that way, sometimes in a talking-heads fashion (speech without any action to break it up, so that the speakers may as well be statues), and it's stiff dialogue at that. Direct thoughts aren't that easy to do well. Nobody speaks to themselves in their own head that formally, so it comes across as inauthentic. The writing quality is actually pretty good here, and the characterizations were on, except that Rarity was a bit too much of the conspiracy theorist. I can accept playing it that way for the comedic effect, though. Dash actually was stealing friends, though. She did convince Fluttershy to abandon the spa appointment, and that was never really resolved.

The Chuckleberry Chive
Wat? Pinkie's Tigger now? I can't say I'd ever expect Twilight to say "freaking." Yipe. That musical number… Sight gags like that don't really translate to writing well. Okay, the Daring Do novel is going a bit too far. Those couldn't have reasonably existed for that long, so are chuckleberries a pretty recent phenomenon, or was ther no cure before them? Twilight's awfully sure that these bushes are not real, based on one book. She's not going to even attempt to research it any further than that? High-society Pinkamena? That's new… That triffid problem was resolved awfully quickly.

That was pretty well-written. Just a minor amount of mechanical errors.Something felt off, though. Pinkie's not really one for artifice, so I don't really see her pulling off that act just to teach someone a lesson. Granted, she kind of did that with Mare-Do-Well, but she wasn't the instigator. And curious that you brought up the parasprites incident, because the story felt quite like a re-imagining of that episode, except… Pinkie was wrong. I don't know what the lesson is here. Trust when your friend is worried about something irrational because she might be right about something else with a tenuous connection? I didn't get a strong theme to tie it all together, but it was a nice, silly, random story.

Reviews, part 2 Author of "All the Colors of the Rainbow" 390

The Hounds
A few mechanical problems, and some inconsistent formatting. I have surprisingly little to say about this one. To even begin knowing what's supposed to be happening here, one must either google that term or already have a knowledge of Lovecraft. And as a fan of Lovecraft myself, I have to say it didn't really create that feel for me. There were some creepy moments, but the outcome was one of two painfully obvious possibilities, and several of the scenes could have been eliminated without detracting from the story at all. The ending in particular didn't strike me as Lovecraftian at all, as it snapped out to a third-person perspective, rather than having the narrator somehow gain knowledge of what had happened, since he was still alive. In particular, Lovecraft pays a great deal of attention to the setting, and I never got any sense of foreboding from even the little bit of physical description we got. While the writing itself was good, and certainly this story may well connect with another reader, I just didn't get out of it what I was clearly supposed to see.

A Research Note
Fairly telly right from the beginning, but fairly mechanically clean. You're jumping between characters here, which can be disorienting.
>The only noticeable part was the gold printing, and how damaged it was.
So the only noticeable part was… two noticeable parts?
Spike's characterization seems off. He's usually eager to help except in cases like Winter Wrap-Up, where he was out of his routine, forced to get up early. Ooh, spoke to soon. Bunch of phrasing/missing word/repetition problems a short way in. It's odd that the book gets more damaged the further in she goes. In ordinary cases, damage would proceed from the outside in.
>assification
This is either a horrible, horrible pun or a very unfortunate typo.
Why wouldn't Twilight have researched the book's source early on? She might have found other related publications or another copy. It's apparently common, since Redheart recognized it immediately. It doesn't seem like her. Kind of a cute character study of Twilight, but not enough of it rings true.

The Retelling of Myths and Legends
What, pray tell, is a "scantum?" Really the only mechanical errors I'm catching are typos that whatever word processing program you use should have noted for you. Twilight and Dash sound accurate enough, but I'm not getting Pinkie's vibe at all. I facepalmed. Hard. You know exactly where. It's out of character with the rest of the fic, I'm really surprised it doesn't violate the contest rules. You had some pretty highbrow humor going up to this point, and it's like finding a diarrhea joke in the middle of an episode of "Frazier."

You're wavering between direct and indirect thoughts, which is akin to wavering between a limited and an omniscient narrator. It's disorienting. A few grating instances of passive voice, and it gets very telly in places.

I didn't get the ending at all. Why would all of those ponies rush back into the theater at the end of the fight? When you mention "The first thing she wrote," I assume you mean the first thing she wrote that night. Though I had to allow that you meant the first thing she ever wrote in that journal (which I would then have to ask how she remembered, since the oldest pages were missing), implying that perhaps Starswirl had gone so deeply into cover and been able to cheat death in such a way that he actually had reincarnated himself as Twilight without any memory of doing so. The flowery language actually works for me here because it's appropriate to the character under focus (Twilight), the venue (a theater), and the scenario (a match-up of intellectuals). That's exactly when purple is okay, as long as it's not overdone to the point that it alienates too many readers. Pay attention to the small-scale pacing, though. When the action level is high, that's when you should keep the language a bit simpler and use shorter, clipped sentences to aid the feeling of events occurring rapidly. When there's slowly building tension, or you're at the peak of the action and want to draw it out, that's the time for your longer sentences to make things feel more suspended.

Author, "Retelling" 391

>>390

I definitely want to talk to you about my fic, since you've picked up on some good things, but I have a quick question.

What's that about violating the rules?

Author, "Retelling" 392

>>390

I guess I'll do responses to things, since I'm here.

I realize Pinkie's a little out of character. I don't want to play her as strict-canon looney tunes Pinkie, though. She has this positive energy that shows in the way she deals with the extras, and she wants her friends to get alone, so she's foolish enough to give Twilight a chance, thinking she'll be able to broker a compromise.

I generally hate direct thoughts, but I used them in one little part where Twilight definitely had an internal monologue going ("She cut me off!")

On to the ending.

I don't know if anypony's caught the inspiration for the Countess' cynicism yet, but maybe somepony will once I paste this:

They looked to me once, now they turn to you
Do you understand now, do you see that the truth is
They don't want to change this, they don't want a hero
They just want a martyr, a statue to raise

I've given everything I can
there are no heroes left in man.


The crowd barges in to prove her wrong about that, perhaps because they weren't going to just count on Celestia coming to save the day.

If I were to do it again, I would make it so that Twilight fails and a background pony (maybe Time Turner) saves her life. The reader is confused for a few sentences, and then the crowd floods in. So it's not Twilight who defeats the Countess, it's the goodness of ponykind itself.

The original idea for the ending was that Twilight would suddenly feel a surge of power that gave her the edge to defeat the Countess. Starswirl somehow saved her. Then the crowd barges in. Maybe readers would catch the sneaky connection, maybe not. That angle didn't come through, because I half-assed it and was too afraid of getting heavy-hoofed with it.

The ending with the Countess and her diary? Sorry that it didn't come through. Maybe a rewrite will make the joke clearer: The Countess is writing NEW wild misconceptions about Starswirl based on the battle with Twilight. In another thousand years, the diary will be found again, and Starswirl's legend will get even more twisted. If Starswirl has reincarnated himself, it's not as Twilight.
This post was edited by its author on .

Author of "Cautionary Tale" 393

>>389
Awww. Well, since you're the first one to say something a tad positive about my rush job, I'll clarify some things.

First, this is a prologue told from the perspective of the Seaponies, so they wouldn't know why they were being fished. Also, those hooks were widespread and some Seaponies got caught simply from there being so many, but I can understand. Maybe I should've thrown in some nets as well.

As for indepth explanations, those were ponies on the ships, and they were fishing the Seaponies for their blood. Seapony blood has enhanced curative properties, so at some point fishermen decided to go all-out in hunting them down and sell them to seedy doctors and medicine makers. Admittedly at first the boats that appeared were simply transport and cargo ships, but the ones with the hooks were fishing vessels that just so happened to catch a Seapony or two. Once word of their value and existence got out, Diamond Dogs got in on it as well, leading to some of the maiming as well as the blood loss.

Of course, as it was from the Seapony point of view, they didn't know these things, and being a prologue, the reader wouldn't learn of these details until much later. But since you've been so nice, there's your explanation. Have a good day, and thanks for understanding ;)

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 394

File: 1346720224284.png (179.27 KB, 859x930, scootaloo___do_not_care_by_mid…)

I would like to note that the final judgement and reviews will be finished in a couple days. They will not be ready by tomorrow.

Reason being that there is a lot of material to read, and considering how relatively under-staffed we are, it needs time.

Author, "Retelling" 396

>>370

I didn't realize until now that I got top score! That's nice to know, though the score spread was so narrow and the voter pool was so tiny that it doesn't actually matter.

Seriously, I didn't even think I was in the same league as "The Chuckleberry Chive" or "All the Colors of the Rainbow." I'm glad my late-night masochism paid off!

Author of "The Chuckleberry Chive" 397

>>396
No, I think you definitely outdid me. :)

398

File: 1346784348228.png (63.19 KB, 256x256, it's cool, just post poni.png)

Well, with Sarf still waiting for all the judging results to come in, have some updated voting stats.
With 7 votes on each story, here are the current standings:

The Retelling of Myths and Legends 7.20
All the Colors of the Rainbow 6.83
The Chuckleberry Chive 6.83
The Hounds 6.25
A Research Note 5.71
Spar Day 5.29
Cautionary Tale 4.43

I'll release the Author names later when the judging is complete. Have fun guessing, if you want to.

Author, "Retelling" 399

I can't remember who mentioned to me in IRC that they were entering, and I don't know most of the people who said here that they're entering, and I already got the one easy ID…

I would almost want to call out either Chuckleberry Chive or All the Colors as being Golden Vision, but I'm fairly certain he didn't enter. Maybe one of them was a stealthy Pascoite entry.

As for myself, I've given myself away a couple of times, and I think my style is rather distinctive.

Pascoite!uxy6g7ov9I 400

>>399
>a stealthy Pascoite entry
Heh.

Author of "The Chuckleberry Chive" 402

>>398
A perfect tie for second place! That's exciting!

Cause to Celebrate! Author of "Cautionary Tale" 405

File: 1346814286959.gif (263.79 KB, 373x200, Eientei Dance.gif)

HYES! Last place in a write-off contest, I am truly the worst writer!

I Did It, I so DID IT! WOO!! WOOOOOOO!! GET DOWN WITH IT!!! SPAM THOSE EMOTICONS!!

\(^O^)/ \(^O^)/ \(^O^)/ \(^O^)/ \(^O^)/ \(^O^)/ \(^O^)/ \(^O^)/
\(^O^)/ \(^O^)/ \(^O^)/ \(^O^)/
\(^O^)/ \(^O^)/ \(^O^)/ \(^O^)/

Author of "The Retelling" 407

man i'm just flipping all my jimmies over here

it's wednesday, dudebros. what's up?

Bleeding Rain!DROPScczL2 409

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>>407
Sorry, we're still waiting for Sarf to collect and consolidate the judges' ratings. I'm not sure where he's at, but just be patient.

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 411

My deepest sympathies. My personal life alongside 8-hour work days has just been killing me lately.

I apologize sincerely. When I can get them done, they will be done.

The Results! Bleeding Rain!DROPScczL2 426

File: 1347131419510.png (32.56 KB, 259x194, pinkamena smiling.png)

Okay, sorry we’re late guys. We finally got the reviews all sorted out, here is your winner:

“All the Colors of the Rainbow” by Pascoite, with an average final score of 136.5 wins first prize.

Here’s the others:


The Chuckleberry chive 113 Present Perfect
A Research Note 111 Static Shock
The Retelling of Myths and Legends 103 Kazu
The Hounds 81.5 TrelaTyraelis
Spar Day 79 D0gFood
Cautionary Tale 57.5 Compendium of Steve

There you have it. Hope you all had fun. Here’s the Story ratings by the judges, if you want to know: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VWKQtOWGGcjHJ4PduKeQE7NZOl9UDDlOd_2yxYfJyoM/edit
This post was edited by a moderator on .

Tactical 427

Huh, when did I give the name Kazu?

Anyway, I wrote "Retelling."

I don't want to call it out specifically, but I find it hard to express how strongly I disagree with what happened. This has nothing to do with personal bias. I actually think that some of the judging was flat out OBJECTIVELY INCORRECT. An entry that I really liked took first prize though, so I have no problem with the results.

Would be good if I could talk to whoever considers themselves the main organizer about my butthurt but I feel you may be able to tell for yourself what it is.

If you would like to hear from me after all, find me on IRC. I'm there pretty often.

One more thing. The last judge's stuff got cut off after 2 entries.
This post was edited by its author on .

Tactical 428

>>427

You know what? I changed my mind. I want to say this.

The second reviewer gave Pascoite a 10 out of 30 for grammar. Sorry, but "my reading level is too low for these sentence structures" is not a reason to call the grammar bad. In fact, there are several examples of the second judge giving bad scores for similar reasons.

This is, of course, only one of the issues I have, but I think it is the clearest. Again, grab me on Canternet's #fic channel.

Anonthony!EEEEEEEE2c 429

>>428
>>427
I'd held off from requesting to be one of the judges in order to keep it user-run, but I do wish I'd been on the panel now. All in all a wonderful contest and for our first board event a nicely satisfying outcome but there are many places we can improve.

430

In all honesty, I don't think I deserved that much. The generous overuse of commas in the review gave me a laugh; it's something I've been trying to get rid of for a long time now. I don't suppose there's any idea of when (if?) the next prompt will be given?

Bleeding Rain!DROPScczL2 431

File: 1347148508398.png (262.27 KB, 454x497, 132158115092-Pinkamena_URK.png)

>>427
>Kazu
It was the name on your Google account when you sent me the .txt
http://i.imgur.com/DzJ5e.png

Sarf was the main organizer, but you could call me his partner in crime for the whole thing. The third judge, Bariah, only got to the two fics he reviewed, and Sarf never ended up submitting his. Basically, we derped. Hard. We apologize for any flankhurt we may have caused, and we're just going to have to be better prepared next time. Everypony had fun writing right?

>>430
Yep, we do plan to do this again, although we'll definitely be tightening a few ropes on our end on round two.
This post was edited by its author on .

Author of "The Retelling" 432

Okay, that's… illuminating.

Well, here's hoping the next time is fun too.

Formal apology. Staff 433

File: 1347170171524.png (163.15 KB, 1239x644, sleepy_twi_by_somepony-d4jnu3z…)

To the finalists of the MLPchan fan fiction contest i offer my sincere apologies.

I am not educated enough to be a judge in any form of written word contest.

I am not fit to tell others where they need to improve if i am unable to do any better myself.

For my inability to give a fair and decent review of others work i sincerely apologize.

I meant no hard feelings or disrespect of others work.

It is well within your rights if you should continue to feel upset or hurt because of what i have said or done.

Have a nice day.

-Staffcarguy

434

File: 1347170484234.jpg (14.44 KB, 320x240, _3ee.jpg)

Congrats, Pascoite. See how easy it is for you when you don't have me as competition?

I kid, I kid. Also I think you've beaten me in every round of mine you've entered.


If you guys are planning on hosting more events, I suggest having my website handle the submissions. It's still in development, but I'm planning on it being done soon—in time for my next write-off on Ponychan.

You can track progress at https://github.com/RogerDodger/WriteOff

Anonthony has also given me permission to host it on MLPchan's server (which means there's no worry of it going down just because my home's Internet is pooped).

Reasons to use it:
- Everything automated
- Users can preview/edit their submissions (so long as the deadline isn't passed)
- Stories are viewable on site, so it doesn't matter if Fimfiction goes down*
- Prompts are selected by a system inspired by Facemash (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facemash#Facemash)

*That said, I still suggest putting them up on Fimfiction, because I have no intention of implementing a commenting system. Likewise, there's no intention of the site being used for commenting on the event, as the event thread in the respective board fulfils that purpose.

If there are any particular features of such a site you'd like, now would be a good time to let me know.

Tactical 435

>>433

As the guy who can be directly blamed for this post, I'd like to say that I'm sure nobody has any trouble forgiving you. You didn't do anything bad to anyone.

It just kinda shouldn't have… you know, shouldn't have happened.

Present!PeRFeCt9JM 436

Whoo second! :D Pasco's fic is not the one I thought would beat me, but I'm okay with this. I had a good time working on my fic (as time has progressed, I see more spots where it needs work, but I'm still pleased with how it turned out for a first/second draft) and it was likewise fun breaking in a new site's first writeoff. :3 I'm gonna take a moment to respond to the judges, because I do that.

Bleeding Raindrops: Thanks for that comment about Fluttershy being like Applejack, that's very observant. I'll explore that in rewrites and maybe it'll be a way to get her into the story! I am slightly miffed at the claim that the link to the prompt was tenuous, given that I chose this idea because it's based around two or three separate misconceptions.

Staffcarguy: The hotel guy was kind of Canadian, hence 'aboot'. Not sure why I did that, thinking about changing it. That's a massive dock for grammar though. D: And yeah, I need to work on the moral, because I sort of lost track of what it actually was while writing.

Bariah: Ouch.

Sorry you guys had so many problems this time around. Take it to heart as a learning experience and figure out what you can do better next time. :) I'll be looking forward to it!

Anonymous 437

File: 1347205503463.png (349.29 KB, 900x675, best.png)

>checks results of writeoff

Holy shit, where did you find these judges? I'm laughing for real right now.

Damn, and people think the pre-readers are biased and arbitrary.

SarfTheMagnifico !wggeWu9bgQ 438

File: 1347215014521.png (146.2 KB, 971x823, DO NOT WANT.png)

I would just like to point out that after this event, I have fired half of my staff.

I apologize for the unprofessionalism, but being the first time around I had to work out the kinks. For next time I know three things

1)Schedule more judging time
2)Hire twice the staff
3)Screen the staff members upon application

I was cut short of my staff as it was, and one was hired a week before the event when someone else quit on me. I apologize for the screw-ups, but know that the final decision for winner was unanimous.

Pascoite!uxy6g7ov9I 439

>>434
"Wings of Icarus" beat "Curse, Bless Me Now," as I recall.


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