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In an unfamiliar style, a familiar story Demetrius!WDFBcC5x22 2898[View]


Use a style, tense, point of view, etc. that you don't use often or have never used to write a short story about a stressful or amusing-in-hindsight event in your life. Try to spend less than thirty minutes writing it.

It is a Friday evening in the warm, dry, obnoxiously noisy datacenter. There I fumble on a few hours' sleep inscribing numbers on masking tape with a blue sharpie. A few times, I miss the tape and hit my fingers. I cautiously inscribe three numbered pieces of tape and stick them to three short, identical-looking orange cat-5e cables, one by one. I attach the pieces near where the cables terminate at ports in a blue network switch.

I raise my voice above the cacophony of air conditioning reverberating through thin structures of anodized aluminum surfaces and the whine of hundreds of little DC fans. "Okay, so now they're all marked, in case we need to go back to the way they were. I'm going to check the notes I took on the switch's VLAN configuration one last time, then we're going to switch the cables. Then we test shutting the master off to see if the failover works, and then the same thing with the slave."

"Okay," boss says.

I unplug the cables, which have been sitting in that configuration for months, one by one. I then plug them back in, one by one, in a completely different permutation of what they had been before. Boss punches the power button on one of the black firewall units. A tense minute of waiting passes, in which I continuously ping our company's website on my phone inside of Terminal Emulator for Android, waiting for a response.

64 bytes from network-{redacted}.static.{redacted}.com ({redacted IPv4}): icmp_req=1 ttl=50 time=148 ms

"Hey, it's back up!"
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Minjask!!kxcakJFkZl 3389

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Oh. Well, this makes sense then. I'm from the 3 times a week, category.

Raharu!HARUHArSpM 3487

Alright, I'll try 2nd person narrative. I've never done it before :D

It's finally lunch time, and you're in luck, it's chicken tenders day.

The chicken tenders in your cafeteria are BY FAR the best entree on the menu at your crummy school. It comes with chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans… they're not your favorite, and to make matters worse they soggy and cold. Yuk.

You sit down with your friends and get ready for a game of poker, but something immediately catches your eye. The girl at the table in front of you has her ass hanging out, and not in a good way. It's a coin slot that could take half dollars.

Part of you wants to tell her in a discrete way, but not before you tell your friend about it.

"Oh my god!" one of your friends says.

"You could park a boat in that thing," another chimes in.

Your other friend is just holding their hand over their eyes and laughing.
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Heh, I just wanted to say a belated "Thanks" and "that was an amusing story!"

Makes me want to try another one.

Sage for no content

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/fic/ Guestbook and Roll of Regulars - Jan '13 - Yes, We're Doing This Again Edition Welcome Everypony 3023[View]

Old thread: >>699

In this thread, introduce yourself. At the beginning of every odd-numbered month, we'll lock and re-make it. That way, it'll be a directory of current /fic/ folks, their threads, works, and a bit about each. Newcomers, guests, and people just passing through are welcome to make posts of their own, too.

So, usually we're a pretty serious, all business folk - present tomfoolery notwithstanding. In the interest of keeping this thread neat and tidy, one post per person, please, and discussion in other threads. Think of it as your "profile" if this were a BBoard or Facebook or yellow pages.

If you don't know yet, MLPchan allows you to edit posts.
See that "password" box when you post? Type something in there that you'll remember. Then you can check-mark your post later, click "edit" at the bottom, and hey-presto there you go. If you don't pick your own password, MLPchan will generate one for your computer, which you might not be able to remember later. Then again you won't have to unless you switch computers.

- Pen names / presence on other sites
- Writing bio and interests
- Works
- Threads you're involved with
- Anything else short and interesting about you.
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Anonymous 3455


>I'm new to this site but not new to writing.



Let me the first person to ask you what the snitchel are talking about.


I'm Writer's Block here and (someday) on EQD. On Fimfiction, I’m WB.

There’s only one story I have published as of right now (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/42392/just-wait-until-the-end) but there are others which shall soon join it. One is planned as a series of long-fics, while a couple are some short stories I enjoyed making in the write-offs, which will be cleaned and submitted to both EQD and Fimfiction when I can.

I work the TTG, have participated in several Write-Offs, and continue to try and push someone through my current long-fic so that it might be properly sent out to face the world with all reasonable confidence. On occasion, I’ve also been known to pop into the IRC.

I enjoy many things including, but not limited: marksmanship, skiing, videogames, writing and reading, and picking story universes apart to discover how they work (be it film, show, or paperback).

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Project: Autoreview 3253[View]

>Copied from Ponychan
Greetings all. I'm coming by to drop off a tool that hopefully you will be able to use.


Using it is straightforward. Copy the story text into the box and it will give you some statistics, check for a few common problems, and give wordcounts. If it flags any common problems, there are links to explanations given with each line.

This is an attempt to automate feedback for stories. It won't replace the feedback of a full-fledged review, but hopefully will help writers get an initial run of feedback on their stories, help them learn to spot and avoid common mistakes and reduce the work involved for reviewers.

The program isn't perfect. If your story comes out clean of errors, this doesn't mean that it is entirely free of any errors. Similarly, it won't flag every error. But it should get a large number of the most commonly occurring ones.

Right now, it checks capitalization at the beginning of sentences, checks for rarely capitalized words, and checks dialogue punctuation.

If you have suggestions for how I can improve the program, eg features to implement, how the interface can be improved, bugs you encounter, etc, any feedback would be greatly appreciated. If you would prefer to communicate your suggestions by email, you can use either the email in my trip or the dedicated email address for the project reviewsuggestions at gmail.

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>If you have any other suggestions, I'd love to hear them.
Hm, well, first of all, you should stop using `[a-zA-Z]` in your regexen. That's very bad! You should use the `\w` character class instead, which matches all word characters, not just those in ASCII.

Similarly `[a-z]` is not a substitute for the proper `\p{Lowercase}` character class, nor is `['"]` a substitute for `\p{Quotation_Mark}`. Familiarise yourself with unicode character classes and use them appropriately.

Ack! I see in processing.py you are attempting to transform unicode into ASCII. That's the wrong way of going about things. Instead of mogrifying your text to work with your regular expressions, you should make the regular expression match what it actually should be matching. See the 52 dot points under "Assume Brokeness" in the top answer to http://stackoverflow.com/questions/6162484/why-does-modern-perl-avoid-utf-8-by-default - some of it is specific to Perl, but the important bits still apply to you, namely:

>Code that assumes that ASCII is good enough for writing English properly is stupid, shortsighted, illiterate, broken, evil, and wrong. Off with their heads! If that seems too extreme, we can compromise: henceforth they may type only with their big toe from one foot (the rest still be ducktaped).



I hate asking these questions. They make it seem like I'm ignoring the advice.
So I read through the article and the description by tchrist, and it seems to be mostly a description of why proper unicode compatibility is so difficult, and then a rant/list of things not to do to create that compatibility. I know that it said that there wasn't space to justify each of the bullet points, but I have to ask: why is unicode compatibility important?

The obvious reasons—greater character diversity for publishing, using multiple languages, developing universal code to be used in arbitrary modules—don't particularly apply to my application and as it handles unicode now, the worst case is it drops a few characters and logs the identifier of the dropped characters until I can get around to plugging in a suitable replacement.

I chose to convert to ASCII because python in general, not just the regex, seemed quite unhappy when I tried to get it to handle unicode. I seem to remember even simple print statements throwing up fatal errors when they tried to use unicode. Granted, this was a long time ago, so I might have just been being particularly stupid.

I admit that I don't know that much about typical conventions, so it is probable that I'm missing something significant. Do you have any links that explain why using unicode is particularly important or can you fill in the gaps in my reasoning? As tchrist's response makes clear, there are a ton of things necessary to make an application compatible with unicode, so I can't imagine that retrofitting the application would require less work than a complete rewrite. Granted, the rewrite itself only took about a week of working, but it's still an inconvenience.
I understand the importance of best practice, but I don't think blindly following best practice warrants such a significant overhaul, unless the reasons for said best practice actually apply here.

tl;dr: Not throwing out the idea, but lazy, and would like justification before trying to retrofit everything


Well, just for one example, you're converting all the unicode dashes into hyphens. How do you check that people are using proper dash characters, then? You can't go letting those evil double-hyphen'ers off the hook.

Secondarily, your asciiconvert function is not even near bulletproof. What if someone puts some accented text in your analysis, or some text you simply weren't prepared for? If the problem was Python spitting errors, well it's going to do that anyway, unless you merge every bit of Unicode you don't recognise into ?'s. But if you do that, then the analysis is obviously going to be off.

Looking into it, it seems that python's `re` library does not let you match by Unicode properties such as `\p{Lowercase}`, though googling around gave many libraries that do play nicely with Unicode. Unfortunately I'm not expert on Python, so the exact implementation of these things you'll have to look for yourself. There is certainly a solution that works, though. And when you find it, it'll be much more readable and "correct" than a function that reads like a half-handed codepage.

Even if you think this is unimportant for this app (which it isn't, but if you aren't convinced), knowledge of how Unicode works in your language of choice is important.
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Umbra's review thread: [Insert Cleverness] Edition Umbra!S7TySB6rOM 2953[View]

I think the image says it all. I do not play games when I review. I may be blunt. My criticisms may make you want to cry, or fornicate me with a large piece of metal. I may act like an asshole, but I promise I have every intent of making your story everything it can be. That being said, the rules.


1) Be kind and courteous. Even I follow this rule, the exception being when I am reviewing in Hardcore mode. More on that in a moment.

2) Follow the MLPchan guidelines. That means no clop and no excessive gore, or more accurately, not publicly. If you have a story that violates the MLPchan guidelines, I will usually still review it. Email it to me at [email protected]

3) Be patient. Christmas season is the most docile time of my life. I will be able to review without much delay during the next couple of weeks, but by the middle of January, all bets are off. I will do my best to remain active after that, but I can't make any promises.

4) Nothing over 7,500 words. If this seems unfair or strange, try to understand that excessively long stories are part of the reason that my past threads have failed. With each new iteration, I do my best to create new rules that expedite the process. If you have a one-shot longer than this, submit it in pieces.

5) EDIT: Submissions should be through Google Documents with comments turned on. This is the easiest way for me to point out specific problems.

6) EDIT: Inform me if your story is being looked at by another reviewer. If someone else finishes their review of your story before I do, let me know so I can decide if my review is necessary.
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Review Request: Mortal (Prologue) Benman!C6qWh73Y.g 3312

I don’t know if this is a thing you do, but I’m gonna ask for a review of just my prologue. (The full story is both incomplete and several times longer than your 7.5k limit, but the prologue is 750 words.) This is set far in the future, towards the end of our heroines’ lives. Twilight gains the power to choose who lives and who dies. She has to decide whether to use it. The story turns into a pretentious melodrama full of shattered friendships, dying wishes, shouting matches at other ponies’ weddings, and all sorts of fun stuff. Anyway, this story requires the reader’s trust, so I need the hook to earn that trust. Hardcore mode: ACTIVATE. Spare no one.



seems like you are getting a bit busy here Umbra. Just a friendly reminder that I still have another tale waiting for your review.

Take your time if necessary. I'm a patient man. Just don't forget about me :(


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Ugh, been away waaaaay too long

Anywho, thanks for the honest feedback. When you say it, it makes perfect sense. I knew the story was missing something, and now I know, so thank you very much.
Sadly, I think I'm gonna be shelving this for a bit. Several other projects have popped up that interest me much more than this. I WILL revisit is someday, and when I do, I will take all your advice to heart.

Thanks, brother!

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The Training Grounds Anonymous 525[View][Last 50 Posts]


Greetings all, and welcome to the Training Grounds, the review thread for all authors, reviewers, proofreaders, and editors, both newcomer and seasoned veteran alike. It isn't the only such thread, but it's usually the busiest! (Previous edition of The Training Grounds)

If you're a reviewer, old or new, and you want feedback on your review, please put a "*" at the front of the subject line of your review post.

For writers:
Submission guide | TL/DR of the submission guide | List of TTG regulars | Submission form | List of recently-finished reviews | Reviews in progress
For reviewers:
How to review | List of unclaimed requests
For Maintainers:
The full, current active queue | Statistics and queue-dump text for thread updates | A guide to how it's all organized
Live communication:
The IRC channel

Some Notes:
  • Do jump in and participate if you can. New reviewers, editors and authors are always welcome!
  • No one is infallible. If something doesn't seem right, ask about it! Whether it be about a review you've received, a fanfic submitted, or something about the queue spreadsheet, the best way to solve it is through communication.
  • If you think you've been missed: please remind us with a link to your original post.
  • Feel free to ask questions about fanfics and writing them!
  • If you respond to a post: please link to the post you are responding to.
  • Reviewers: the writers want their work to shine. Highlight faults with gusto. Don't fear compliments either: if something makes you smile, a few kind word
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TheAlmightySage!!qJzKsStV3/ 3442

Cancel request until further notice. I've got some help through a fimfiction group and my job's schedule is about to go to hell in a hand basket. So I won't have time for my writing hobby.

Apologies for wasting anyone's time.

Partial Aborted Review of Apples and Wheat 3449

Sorry to hear about your situation and I hope everything goes well.

I did get to read a couple chapters, so I may as well give you my thoughts on the subject. Perhaps they may be of assistance if you decide you want to try to write again.

Keep in mind, I have absolutely know knowledge of the Spice and Wolf series, so I can't weigh in on whether it is a copy-paste of the crossover series.

Mechanically, your writing is pretty clean. While there were scattered errors, you seem like you know most of the rules and the mistakes were just isolated occurrences. Some time away and then a proofreading pass will probably catch most of them. The one systemic thing that I noticed were missing vocative commas. In dialogue, when someone is addressed, their name is set off with commas. A good test for this is to try reading the sentence without the name. If the sentence still forms a complete sentence, then you should set off the address with commas.

Moving on from mechanical considerations, I feel you would strengthen the beginning if you gave your characters stronger investment in the situation. As far as the beginning goes, Granny Smith tells them to plant wheat, they ask the relevant logistics questions (while this is the most logical next step, it doesn't exactly make for a riveting plot device), then accept it and get to work. Applejack seems to be mildly curious about the whole thing and there's an initial bit of drama about her parents, but that wears off real quick, but that's not a particularly strong motivator to drive the story.

I would suggest strengthening one or more of the character's responses to planting wheat, at least until Holo arrives. You could have Applejack worried that Granny is going senile and imagining the wheat wolf thing or Macintosh breaks his silence because of upsetting memories brought on by wheat or something like that. Because right now, the initial chapters feel like they are just time-killers until the real action shows up, rather than being interesting in their own right. Adding a (possibly temporary) conflict could give tho
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Ezn!RAopYJNHZ6 3451

And so ends the very first edition of the MLPchan TTG. Goodnight, sweet prince.

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Friendship isn't exactly all that sexual 3270[View]

Hello there! I would just like to ask for feedback and editing help with my fanfiction, if at all possible!

Story Description: "Spike starts using his writing talents for more than just friendship reports. But when one of his more… embarrassing works is accidentally leaked to the public, Spike gets on the nerves of his best friends."

Below I have placed links to both versions of it (clean and explicit) for your convenience. I hope you enjoy the story!

Explicit: SNIP

Clean: http://sectussection.deviantart.com/#/d5qvz3m

#Story #Comedy
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Tactical!fRainBOoMw 3284


I'm not that busy. School just started for me, but that's not a big deal, and in fact it means days off from my slave labor "job." Really, I'm not a bad person to go to for reviews right now.

I actually blitzed through something like 40k words of Dashie's Foaling in one night.

...this post has been rated "sage" for lack of content... 3286


> "plot" = "ass"

Beep-beep, I'm a bwob and Trixie's eating pinecones. Let's all write PinkieDash fics with Gilda grudge-screwing them both and - holy crap - is filly Nightmare Moon reallygoing to have Twilight executed?!

Season 1 fandom called to say it was 20% cooler.


I just talked to Season 2 Fandom, and she told me that bronies really suck at memes.

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Editing and so forth TheAlmightySage!!qJzKsStV3/ 3259[View]

#Editing Help #Pre-readers welcome #Story in Progress

First time posting here. Bear with me.

So I've written the story Apples and Wheat and it's gotten surprisingly good reception. However, I've been told it needs a bit lore polish by the EqD pre-readers. I'm not exactly bent on getting my story on EqD, but it would nice.

Anyways, the main reason I'm putting this up for critiquing is improve my writing plus I'm bored out of mind.

Image not related. Ever.

Tags: Comedy Crossover Slice of Life

The Apple Family decides to plant wheat this year and end up with a surprise house guest.
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## Mod 3260

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Welcome to /fic/. While reviewing is the main output of our board, it's not the only one. Stories looking for reviews should go in review threads. You'll find a list of them in the directory at >>159. While you're at it, please look at the sticky post at >>158. It more or less details how we do things around here. Threads for stories are for showcasing, not for seeking help, so thread bumplocked.

Also, you need []s around your #Tags, or they won't tag properly. I've taken the liberty of fixing that for you.

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What up, my ponies? In case you don't know me, I go by Tactical!Rainboom on the forums, and also on Fimfiction and on Steam, but in the IRC I'm Ardor or Tactical or whatever else strikes my fancy at the moment. I'm a medically confirmed Asian-American who likes ponies, writing, and sometimes writing about ponies. I take my writing seriously, even when I'm writing dumb stuff about colorful ponies, and I try to be able to stand by the writing quality of everything I do.

If you feel like I'm someone worth talking to about writing-ish stuff, I invite you to come on in and pull up a chair. I'm always happy to talk to people about stuff and sometimes help people with stuff.

Without further ado, here are some links for you to ignore!

The Ancient Heart's First Beating
This is a story about many things, but ultimately, it is a story about love. —This is the best thing I have ever written. This is the best thing I expect to write for a long time. This story blew away the pony who I look to as a mentor and inspiration. I implore you to read this. Even if you don't like it, I want to share it.

Equestrian Aerial Magic Assault Unit 00
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Stuff 1624

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Seattle's Angels picked me up! Pretty exciting. Because of that, I'm writing more stuff for The Sixth Age. Already churned out some bullshit, and have a proper chapter plotted.

Also, something new.

Scooter: A Tragedy In Three Acts
All Scootaloo wanted was to fly. She imagined herself as a stunt flyer, powerful and daring. This is the story of how she chased that dream, and of how her friends and mentors helped her along the way.—this is going to be a "tragedy" in the classical sense. It starts off nice, then gradually gets ugly.
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Updates Tactical!fRainBOoMw 1727

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The Sixth Age
4: Victoria

I've written a bunch of stuff for this, enough so that I can comfortably call it an update.

And I'm playing a game.

If you can figure out what song I ripped off shamelessly in the latest chapter, I will write a fic based on literally any concept you ask. No matter how fucked-up it is.

Tactical!fRainBOoMw 3205

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"Just read my "present." It was complete and utter filth. And I loved it."
—response to Trixie Versus the Hairless Flat-Faced Abomination, from the person it was written for. It's #mature, so check my profile to find it.

New story:

My Little Transvestite
Friendship is Tim Curry. Rocky virgins need not apply.
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Christmas Write-off 1769[View][Last 50 Posts]


Event overview: http://writeoff.rogerdodger.me/event/12

Hello again, everyone. It's another /art/-/fic/ contest.

For those out of the loop, the competition is quite simple: prompt → art → fic. First, everyone decides on a worded prompt to act as the event's theme. Artists draw pictures from the worded prompt, and then writers write stories to the pictures.

In addition to your usual incentive of absolutely nothing fame and glory, the winner will be awarded a copy of IDW's My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic comic (http://www.idwpublishing.com/news/article/2349/), courtesy of Anonthony.

The fic round starts Fri, 14 Dec 2012 06:00 UTC and lasts for 3 days, ending Mon, 17 Dec 2012 06:00 UTC. For those too lazy to do the conversion, if you make an account on the site (with the correct timezone settings), all the times will display in your local timezone.

Worded prompt suggestions start Sun, 09 Dec 2012 04:00 UTC, last an hour, and are followed by a one hour voting round.

For all fic participants, there is a mandatory preliminary voting round which lasts for 10 days.
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Wooden-Spoon Winning Author of "Winona" 3162

Woo! I got a bronze! And a wooden spoon! (What were the wooden spoons for again?)


Wooden spoon refers to a last-place finish, but it's a little more than that. Roger would have to tell you the specifics.

Hayseed Turniptruck 3165

The entirety of that text was copied to a text file for future study. Quite helpful.

I was wondering where all the missing and duplicated words went; they are the spell-check-escaping bane of my existence. I have a bad habit of editing ideas before the sentence is finished, which leaves lots of those mistakes in its wake.

Applejack tends to get lines that shuttle back and forth between Texas via Vancouver and Tennessee via Vancouver; my head-canon makes her Arkansas because I can.

"Amoung" (and for that matter most of Applejack's high-falutin' vocab) come from the fact that I am a Southeastern Illinois hillbilly (stone's throw from Possum Trot, KY) who was forced to read Thomas Hardy in my younger days. I dunno if he used as many semicolons, but I picked those up somewhere and can't get rid of them. I love a barrage of semicolon-laden sentences punctuated with the rimshot of a simple three word sentence.

Interestingly, Spike's "Make sure Winona knows she's loved"
was a clumsy attempt to say just what you're looking for: He's come to terms with the fact that he's surrounded by Winonas and wants to make sure they know he treasures their relatively fleeting existence. As is evident by my art submissions, I suck at subtle.

I truly appreciate you taking the time to dig into the nuts and bolts of the story; mechanics is definitely not my strong suit.

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VA's want work? 2987Locked[View]

Here’s what we are looking for this time around:
- Voice actors, both male and female, there are a wide variety of roles to fill, but heres what we need specifically:
- 1 Rainbow Dash VA
- 1 Gilda VA
- 1 British VA
- 1 “Average Joe” VA
- 1 Billy Mays impersonator
- And approximately 2-6 VA’s who can adapt and do various voices

If you are interested, please send us an email to [email protected] including the following details:
- Your name and online nickname (if applicable)
- Links to any previous experience (if applicable)
- One audio clip, between 2 and 15 minutes long, of you acting in the personality of the voice(s) that you are applying for. You may attempt as many voices as you feel necessary. Please include a script of what you read.

## Mod 2994

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This isn't really fic related, so thread locked. Those interested can see the thread on /fan/ at >>>/fan/308.

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Thunderfall Readers' Circle Eustatian!Wings60m9. 2247[View]


Hey, guys. Twice a month I'm gonna grab a list of recent and featured stories over on FiMFiction, read them and leave comments. I think it'd be fun with more people, so I'd like to invite ya guys along. This isn't about fixing anypony's story, just a chance to enjoy and discuss fic with each other. Think of it as food critics just going bar-hopping for the heck of it.

Where: starting right here!
Dates: 15th and last of each month.
Time: Lists posted approximately 0500Z (when I get home) and going until whenever.
Who: Anyone who's willing to follow the two rules:

1. Everypony has to bring one positive and one negative criticism for each story.
2. Be nice.

I'd like to thank Casca and everyone who provided inspiration with the "/fic/'s Day Out" concept. It's not a bad idea, but I want to do something less ambitious and more cuddly.

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TRC for 15 December 2012 Eustatian!Wings60m9. 2388

Apparently, the world has not ended yet. Let's read some stories. Just decided to scrape the featured list.

» Study Buddies
HiE, unusual formatting, starring you and Twilight. Apparently it's good enough to make featured on its first 10k words. I'm very excited to read this.

» Statue Garden
Dark/adventure with Twilight and Celestia following the defeat of Discord. Color me "meh" for now, but then again I'm not really in an adventurful mood at the moment.

» Honey Pie
I am a sucker for decently written, snuggly, and non-sexual foalshipping, so this will be the first I read. With crazy high hopes of course.

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Oh, eh heh. Forgot about this. ^_^'

The Write-Off's gonna take my spare time, so… er I'll see what I can do this week.

TRC for 31 December 2012 - New Year's Edition Eustatian!Wings60m9. 2965

» Pink With Your Heart
Looks short, funny, and shippy.

» Nosflutteratu
I've already read this, and it's the best Flutterdark I've seen in a while. There's a touch of meta, very much like a Terry Pratchett story.

»Ah Don't Need Help!
Short and canon-style.

»Combat Magic
Best synopsis is best:
What does Rarity have in common with a werewolf, a vampire, a tall computer specialist, a psychic reformed redneck, and a foul-mouthed wizard? Well, at the moment they're all human. And saving the world.

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Talking Head Syndrome 1699[View]


Last night I was listening a college lecture about writing on YouTube last night. In it, he said not to have characters doing things most of the time usually while they are talking. This goes against what I have been told about Talking Head Syndrome. I have been told by reviewers—who have gotten on EqD—to not go more than one or two paragraphs of dialog without somepony doing something.

This makes sense to me. Recently, I watched Red Letter Media's review of the Star Wars prequels and one of the main complaints that he had with the movie was how whenever the characters are talking, they're always sitting down or staring at a CGI landscape. He compared it to the new Star Trek movie, where they're often running around the ship while talking. But those are both movies and they work in different ways than prose fiction does.

I don't know, what do you think?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWdE1J2U7A8&feature=share&list=PLFAB0B0381EA9A36A (Skip to around 5:00)
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Eustatian!Wings60m9. 1940

>somepony examines Spike after… well, after bad things happened to him

There's your interesting material, so show that. Unless you're having to tone down gore, and then you show reactions. Simple.

> If you feel the need to do some straight exposition, at least precede it with. "Twilight looked at X. (Description of X.)" or something similar.

With all respect, why? It doesn't matter what the author wants. It matters what the characters want and what the reader can be expected to want.

Say I cold-open like this:

Twilight Sparkle snuggled her spine into the back of the couch. She was perfectly cozy here despite the storm outside. Her tail lay in an elegant curve across her hindquarters, underscoring a large pink star emblazoned on her purple coat. One hoof swayed absently in the warm firelight. A crock of warm cider steamed forgotten on the table next to her, and most important of all, a book floated before her face, its covers aflicker with the lilac fire of her magic.

The same hue of light limned the horn set above her eyes, which skittered this way and that as she read.
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>Otherwise, just say what you need to say and skip what you don't.
>Don't randomly mention scenery in the middle of conversation. The only way it should be mentioned is as part of relevant action, when it's relevant to the dialogue, or when the setting is active or changes in some way.
i.e. only mention scenery when it's relevant. Which means only when it adds something significant.

Update Azusa!fG2qnvpWXU 2947

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Fillies and Gentlecolts, I have had a breakthrough. This is how you avoid "Talking Head Syndrome."

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Original Characterization Story Review Silver Strength!TwiDasH7n2 145[View]

#Reviewer #OCs/Background Ponies #Accepting stories and outlines

Your story, whether it be drafted or in outline form, centers around characters whose characterization springs from your mind. You do not rely upon canon to breathe life into your characters, or expect reader familiarity with popular fanon. Whether they be background characters, or purely your own creation, you gave them independent life.

Want it workshopped? Pass it here. Mane Six or Human In Equestria fics need not apply.

No length limits, but if your piece runs long I make no promise to read it all. Your opening and setup and initial characterization will hook readers and propel your piece forward, or not; they're the priority.

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Anonymous 199

I think he's offline, but busy lately. When he comes on Skype I'll poke him for you.

Anonthony!EEEEEEEE2c 465

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I've gotten through the first 2 chapters of a new story I've submitted.

Let me know how my original characters fare thus far.

Chapter 1 of S&S 2933

#Reviewer #OCs/Background Ponies


This is like the third or fourth time I've re-written the chapter, but I think I finally got it. So I'm wondering what /fic/ thinks and whether or not it'd be good enough for EqD.

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Elements of Equity Trippershy !!B2kpqs2odt 2577[View]

Alright. I haven't been this nervous since I first posted on /mlp/.
I'm new to this site, so let me know if I'm not doing this correctly.
I'm to #tag what my story entails? I'll go ahead and do that…

#Discord, #Celestia, #Elysium, #Preliminary, #Romantic.
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sage 2620


>we don't really do improve stories
*improv stories

We improve stories quite a bit.

As for your actual fic, suffice to say that your inexperience shows. All the more reason it's great that you found us. :)

Here's a bit of general advice.

is spot on about the fact that this is pure infodump. Yes I understand you wanting to get a premise in place before talking about the events of the story, but look at this:

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>*improv stories

Anonymous 2904

You're Trippershy. I love you, man.

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1K, Every Day 2330[View]


Good evening, my fellow a/fic/ionados.

With tentative weariness, I bring you my own malformed brainchild. “1K, Every Day” is an endeavor to produce consistent and cohesive prose. The main thing is quite simple:

Write one-thousand words everyday.

The minutiae are far more dubious, however. It is of import that the produce displayed in this thread be of decent quality, and that there be some semblance of purport among the drivel. In my own attempt, I will be following several complex and arcane rules, which I will refrain from reproducing here in full. A few noteworthy ones, however, are that (1) I’m working from a character list of thirty pre-selected characters, (2) the majority of entries will be in first person, and (3) what I write about each day will be determined by numbers produced from random.org's whitenoise-based random number generator.

Characterization is one of the principle tenants of enjoyable fiction. This exercise is designed to develop skills in characterization, good writing habits, and an ability to think on one’s feet, as it were. This is by no means an exclusive exercise. In fact, I have made it public not only for my own benefit but also that of others—that they might also desire to participate.

Now, I don’t expect anyone to participate with me, nor do I expect someone who does wish to participate to follow the rules and formulae I have set for myself. But if you wish, you can post your own gorrowful crap alongside mine, as about anything is allowed which does not break site rules (do note, however, that this is a non-mature thread). Any wordcount, any consistency, and any subject matter.

I will start my own adventure at a pre-determined date (which I’ve yet to bother to look up), and I will edit this OP with more information as it becomes available.
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Demetrius!WDFBcC5x22 2854

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Today and yesterday I finished proofreading Nick's retake of Summer Days and the story I claimed in TTG, so I had time to get down to writing. I ended up overhauling a chapter, but it wasn't all editing. There was a net gain of around 1k. Yay!
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Demetrius!WDFBcC5x22 2896

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Hey, does anyone know of a better way of turning markdown into BBCode than first making it HTML and then turning it into BBCode, or the "markdown-to-bbcode" one on Github that's written in Scala and encapsulated in a jar file (what is this I don't even)? I've been writing my story in the sexily unobtrusive and semantic shorthand of markdown. I've been using a lot of <em>'s, so manual formatting may be a pain, so I'm shopping around for easy ways of making it FiMFiction-ready.

Got 1300 more done today, and now the story's at 11,359. I think I'm finally satisfied with the latest chapter.

Pic totally unrelated.
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Go into the markdown parser that you're using and change the replacements.

I haven't gotten around to doing that since I only ever use un-wrapped paragraphs with bold/italics/scene breaks, which can be done with three easy substitutions.

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Describe /fic/ 1988[View]

What characteristics make /fic/, /fic/? If a character were to represent /fic/, what qualities would it have, what personality traits?
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MintyRest!xMcCHESToY 2646

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> I'm, uh, not really seeing /fic/'s tendencies and personalities as three individuals who interact with each other. We're pretty close-knit and I don't see us in factions.
FiMchan, Ponychan, and mlpchan.
Or alternately TTG, SFG, and the wolves.
Or alternatively Authors, Reviewers, Pre-readers.
Or instead of that, FiMfic, /fic/, and EqD.

Which is why the example in >>2595 and the norns fits so well. It's still a family structure, we still have things in common.
We also have a great deal of lingering frustration between the groups, but an overall sense of camaraderie. Especially when threatened by an outside source such as /meta/. Internally we don't mesh up, but that's fine. Homogeneity sucks.

> so we aren't really seeing the same air of hate.

Oh, I wasn't limited to the welcome 'hate'.
I was referring to the desire, a push button if you will, that most reviewers have to start channeling Cassius when faced with certain issues.

The wide eyed child, the serious adult, and the cranky old codger can always be found at some point. Even if the players shift around based on outside influence.

Casca!blANCA/Sq2 2656

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I like this reasoning.

Tactical!fRainBOoMw 2777

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The kid. He is sincere and self-interested, and often completely misguided. This is the guy who says that other people "just don't get" his work, and the guy who can't accept that EQD doesn't want him.

He's not limited to just newbies. The kid also represents anything that's motivated by pure enthusiasm, not the adult's knowledge or the old guy's experience. Gatherings of this archetype are everywhere—I'd name a few but it might come off as an insult. Anything that's written out of love and then set aside because who cares about preening it was was written by the kid.

He has a dim view of the adult and sees his work as not needing what the adult has to offer.

In some cases, the kid doesn't have a lot of respect for the old guy either, for the same reason.

The adult. He is opinionated and motivated. Huey isn't an adult so much as he's ironically mature for not being an adult, but that actually fits too, doesn't it? The adult GIVES A SHIT about things like SDT and LUS and whatever, and he has this idea that if he's going to write he should do it the RIGHT way.

He clashes with the kid constantly and he treats the kid with scorn. Every time you see someone molten hate spit into TTG, you are seeing this.

"Huey" sometimes looks up to the old guy, and is sometimes happier to ignore the old guy and do his own thing. He knows what he thinks is right, and wants to associate with people who agree with him.
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Writer's Workshop — /fic/ Community Event 1631[View]

High on the tailwinds of our recent Thanksgiving /fic/ Writeoff, inspiration has struck for our next community event: a Writer's Workshop.

But this won't be your mother's workshop; oh no. Instead, we'll be having a full out convention-style event, with different reviewers and writers doing individual or pair panels on a subject or topic of their expertise, as it pertains to writing. Example topics might include, for example, creating emotive imagery, choosing appropriate verbiage, or the basics of elementary grammar. Any well-known author/reviewer, or /fic/ (or #fic) regular who feels confident in a certain topic is welcome to apply to hold their own panel through this thread.

In the meantime, we also have the intended audience of this Workshop event—you, the writers and underclassmen reviewers. If you've got any suggestions for the procedure of the Workshop, or anything specific you'd like to see, or even just well-wishes and a note of attendance, feel free to post it in the thread below as well.

As it stands now, the Workshop will likely be a panel/round-robin type of thing, where Skype and/or Livestream are utilized along with GDocs and a chat client to gain the maximum interactivity between panelist and audience. If there are any other suggestions or thoughts on the format of the Workshop itself, please—well. You know the drill by now.

Anyways, we haven't decided on time or days yet, so don't worry about not being able to attend. We'll likely spread this Workshop over a several day period—even as long as a week—and have different panels at all different times of the day. Maybe some will even repeat, for those unlucky people who had to miss one that they wanted.

!!Applejack/Anonthony will also be trying to contact knighty and Sethisto for advertising on fimfiction and EqD, respectively, so be ready for an influx of inquisitive newbies. If he is successful, then please be gentle with them. We'll show the rest of the Brony fandom that /fic/ is an especially gracious host.

For the forty-second time, please leave any thoughts, requests, suggestions, or comments in the thread below. Hope you all like this idea!

-Golden Vision
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Ya, Gordon is dumb. Could just make an IRC channel. Skype is more insular because you have to ask for invites, and the logging is worse.


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A possible suggestion:

Have the "entrance" be a hub Google Doc with links going to the different "stands", which could be either IRC rooms like #Workshop_1, #Workshop_2 or stuff. I'm not sure how you'd want to slot in the livestream/Skype, but I might as well toss this in.

Tactical 2619


This is a good idea. Bring people in via something that you need only click on.

Let's talk more about the format. An all-weekend affair, like a convention? Scheduled events like "panels?"

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first time fanfic 2432[View]

hey guys, i'm completly new here and wanted to post the opening to a fanfic I've been right. It's a take on the conversion bureau cliche and a crossover so I think it may suck but I want to make it not suck. so please any advice or criticism is welcomed.

The Conversion Bureau: 52

A grey lone unicorn stood looking over ther paramount of the easternmost tower of Canterlots central palace, which was filled with various labs dedicated to bleeding edge research in various magical and scientific fields, founded the by the princesses themselves. " This just can't be right, the lay lines are all wrong." Star sight furrowed his eyebrows in concentration, trying to extend his sense of the natural ebb and flow of magic in and around Canterlot. feeling out the natural state of magic on it's own terms. many unicorns simply didn't even think about where the magic they used in their day to day lives. but not Star Sight, ever since he could first use magic he was intensely fascinated by where it came from how it behaved in nature. When the princesses had announced their plan to the ponies of the world, an exodus from Equus to another unknown world in order to avoid the all consuming hordes plaguing Equus, they had made certain to share what information they could gleam of this new world with academia . Star examined the estimated map of the lay lines of this new world, along with the theorized placing of Equestria's lines in a world that should be devoid of magic. The new formations however were completely of kilter, and dear herd the STRENGTH of these lines, it was almost as if this world was absolutely brimming with magical energy, as well as other forces appearing at the very edge of his perception altering the harmonics of the natural magic's as well as that those of the massive barrier encompassing Equestria. "where in Tartarus are we?"



For a shape shifter, the Manhunter's face was amazingly stoic in nature as he digested the carnage and chaos of the last two hours by the sudden appearance of the small continent some 300 miles off the coast of southwestern Africa. the central and largest of the watchtowers view screens concentrated on the land mass it self as well as the large dome like shield obscuring the island form all initial attempts to scan it. The screen also noted the locations of various science and magic teams, led by Ray Palmer and Zatanna respectively, that had been dispatched to examine the sphere. The screens around the center showed the valiant efforts of various heroes to hold back the massive amounts of water displaced by the landmass. The four earth based lanterns had generated a 16,000 mi wide wall of green light along Africa's west coast. Terra had risen a defensive wall along New York and was now moving to protect metropolis and other east coast cities along with the JSA, Supergirl, and Superboy An open dome of energy shielded the island of Themysicara while allowing the odd mix of transparent high-tech craft and armored pegasi riding Amazonian warriors to exit the island and speed off to the southwest. Still other monitors portrayed the reactions of nation states the world over. checkmate was mobilizing troops in South Africa, S.H.A.D.E. was gathering teleportation specialists for an apparent attempt to break though the barrier. The armies and superhuman agencies of the world where gearing up for the unknown. What most alarmed him wee the monitors supplying the Atlantian response. The landmass covered what was a thieving Atlantian outpost with 2,000 citizens. their voices had gone silent. The Atlantian cities of grief and rage spoke volumes. Aquaman refused to respond to any attempt of J'onnz to contact him in Atlantis. Aquaman was leading his armies to war.


The edge of the barrier gave off a faint Pink glow that reflected off the surface of the Atlantic. A lone blue and black figure speed towards the edge. However moments before the object was to crash against it, the figure faded to nothing. the barrier remained serenely undisturbed.


that's what i
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Hey there. 2442

First off, welcome to fic.

Secondly, you should not post your story as a thread. There are plenty of reviewers here who will look at your story, should you request it in the appropriate place. There's The Training Grounds, if you just want someone to look at it, and then there are more specific reviewers who run their own threads and who are known for being remarkably helpful, if at times harsh as well.

Conch Shell runs a nice idea thread, if you need a place a person to bounce thought off of.

However, making a whole thread for one story is generally frowned upon here.

That said, best of luck to you, and I hope you find your place here.
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Eustatian!Wings60m9. 2444

What happened between your first and second post? There seems to be something missing.

You must break your story into paragraphs, moments of storytelling that your reader can digest one at a time. Pick up pretty much any story (certainly any decent one) to see how it's done. Or, compare to comic books: a paragraph tells about as much story as a frame.

Also, you can't have more than one character speak in a single paragraph. It's a pretty strict rule.

Press enter twice at the end of each para.

Also, the standard around here is to post works-in-progress to Google Drive.

Beyond that, I'm not sure where to critique this story. The first fic is the hardest and this one hasn't managed to turn over yet.

In general, stories have a structure that looks like this:
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