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File: 1408430807237.jpg (40.31 KB, 334x323, hands pls, hands, stahp.jpg)

Fuck da context Anonymous 451215[Last 50 Posts]

In this thread, snippets drawn without explanation from a greater whole.

Spoiler lewds.

Anonymous 451329

"Who IS this stallion? And why must he be mysterious AND attractive at the same time, he's going to drive me crazy at this rate!"

Anonymous 451333

"...but if you're here then that means... oh boy."

COShepard 451334

Oh WE'LL BREAK HIS LEGS!

Anonymous 451335

"He looks like a.. Confused old man with alzheimers that's dying!"

Anonymous 451351

" It will breed in the cage, and the offspring will be rabid. I'm starting to believe that a 2x2 or 3x3 would be much preferred. The issue, still, is insanity. Keeping the child from going mad during the whole process will be quite difficult. Investing in masterwork platinum chairs may be in order. Or perhaps restructure the entire thing to allow for statues. I prefer the hanging cage just because of the terror it invokes, but a raised platform with statue walls would be very easy to admire, and if it had a table and chair, then the child could enjoy a royal dining hall."

Anonymous 451358

Judgment of any system, or a priori relationship or phenomenon exists in an irrational, or metaphysical, or at least epistemological contradiction to an abstract empirical concept such as being, or to be, or to occur in the thing itself, or of the thing itself.

Anonymous 451382

"he just opens the door while jacking off, this man is fearless."

Anonymous 451388

"Horses can't talk, YIFF MY SHIT!"

Anonymous 451404

Number 32. The lady lies with her left leg planted firmly on the ground and the right hand waiting. The gentleman with the melon switches on the battery and places his left thigh on the edge of the swivel table, keeping the neck of the stuffed goose absolutely clear...

Anonymous 451421

"Stop crying, you're acting like that's the first time you've been in a sink before what are ya?"

Anonymous 451607

As you look with finer and finer definition, the planet is revealed to be overflowing with meat, glued to it by gravity.

Anonymous 451609

Technically, what happens is that whenever you check the check box, a member of a dedicated staff at Adobe masturbates. But the end result is the same.

Anonymous 451610

you had me at reverse grip

Anonymous 451612

IT'S A PLEASURE TO LET THE
ELFS FIGHT
EACH OTHER
AT HIGH SPEED BOAT!

Anonymous 451615

Your example there is perhaps slightly too points-free, since it takes a little thinking to see what (([]:).(:[]).(:[])) does.

Anonymous 451617

>>451607
>>451609
>>451610
>>451612
>>451615
I have hundreds of these. Should I keep posting?

Anonymous 451624

CLANCY.
DO THE DISHES, WASH THE FISH.

Anonymous 451634

"Applejack’s cock looked like it lurked around seaports beating up other penises and taking their money."

Anonymous 451635

"She would gasp at the sensation of my dick massaging her prostate from within her bladder and beg for release."

Anonymous 451728

Her pink potent pony pussy juice flowed like the Volga river and the tears of her soviet family, realizing she was being anally fucked with a Model 24 Stielhandgranate hand grenade.

Anonymous 451787

"I swear if you pull out, I WILL FUCKING RIDE YOU TILL TUESDAY!" She screams as the estrogen in her system is replaced with testosterone by the perpetual state of ecstasy that she is caught within.

Anonymous 453124

I remember the sounds as he raped me.

HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT

Anonymous 453608

Just like when you masturbate, you are imagining giving guys handjobs.

Anonymous 454825

File: 1409546318491.jpg (165.08 KB, 808x436, BAKING!.jpg)

So paraplegics aren't real just because people some people can love?

Anonymous 455489

you’re fist-fucking her so fast that you’re practically punching her cervix

Anonymous 455641

How do you determine what is a successful prediction or not? Simply saying "it works" is insufficient, as it allows for anecdotal fallacies and does not account for degrees of validity. It takes philosophy to resolve such considerations.

Anonymous 456030

When she felt his dick enter his anus, she screamed in pleasure.

Anonymous 456610

"'From now on, everyone passing the test will fellate me,' I said, and suddenly everyone got a perfect score!"

Anonymous 457179

"No, you go to town, redefining what it means to eat out a pussy."

Anonymous 457477

We've all done something silly for our husbando, right?

Anonymous 457570

I would treat you like a princess and make you feel beautiful every day. Why do you need EqG Pinkie Pie when you could have a strong man like me?

Anonymous 458551

the horse pants are kinda strange.

Anonymous 459607

"I'm killing to slow! I will need both of my hands!"

Anonymous 460103

"It’s like I've just eaten the most amazing soup... but with my vagina..."

Anonymous 461399

File: 1411336305699.jpg (260.07 KB, 638x741, Vinyl 63 smirk.jpeg)

Me and Pinkie are halfway across the dance floor when Scratch decides to bend me over a table, splay my back legs and fuck me rigid. And not in the good way.

Anonymous 461987

THERE'S NO FENCE ON THIS FENCE

Anonymous 462020

"Oh, god! That mount on the wall looks like Scooby Doo mixed with Satan's offspring!"

Anonymous 462163

"I woke up in a shallow grave off Highway 5. When I dug myself out, I was Applejack."

Anonymous 462522

“'No problem, Celestia, and remember kids and colts, never trust a filthy commie.'”

Anonymous 463833

"God just doesn't have good taste in fetish porn"

Anonymous 464315

"Carefully Fluttershy opened the clitoris, revealing Anon's testicles"

Anonymous 464401

Yesssssssssss AGAIN!

Anonymous 464404

""Yeah, well, FUCK YOU I ALMOST DIED!" You flip Rarity the bird, grab the steel chair right next to you, and slam her in the face."

Anonymous 464409

"One false move, and I'm gonna kill myself! AND THEN I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

Anonymous 464428

If you fart again I am going to kick you in the face, mom.

Anonymous 464429

When Grandma burps, Patrick obeys.

Anonymous 465525

"I assume that her face is now where her ass used to be."

Anonymous 465994

If a black man had been accidentally impregnated by some lesbian sperm, he would have every right to be upset.

Anonymous 467574

"Oh you dreadful monster, plebeian muckracker how dare you bust my lady pipes. Shame on you!!!"

Anonymous 467984

"you are more likely to be killed by an enraged camel than by a terrorist"

Anonymous 468630

"What does one call a pony murder? Probably a tragedy."

Anonymous 469267

"But it was too late. The magic stopped working, and Carrot Top was smacked in the face by two and a half feet of horsecock suddenly coming into existence."

Anonymous 469545

"She collapsed in the woodchips at the slide's base, twitching, lost in the wonderful afterglow of the experience"

Anonymous 469548

"An older mare wanted him to grow her ass, and by Celestia, he was going to grow that ass."

Anonymous 469765

Oranges! Unidentified oranges! All over my floor!

Anonymous 469974

"Anon, will you still love me now that I'm a trout?"

Anonymous 472090

“IT’S LIKE HE ABSORBED AN ANVIL INTO HIS BLOODSTREAM!”

Anonymous 472153

I keep gettin' this damn ring and he keeps on droppin' his pants!

Anonymous 472457

"I will see you trampled beneath a heard of stampeding elephants! O! The joys of war!"

Anonymous 473154

"oh yeah baby, now put on this raincoat, ohhhhh, thats the stuff"

Anonymous 473691

"A helicopter bursts from a chrysalis and alights on a rock, rotors still damp."

Anonymous 473694

"What use are my hard-earned sex skills when these new fuckbakeries sell sexual satisfaction in delicious pastry form?"

Anonymous 473711

I've been drunk since I was four years old.

Anonymous 473725

Scaly boobs would feel like... Bedazzled water balloons.

Anonymous 473801

"We made angry vaginas."

Anonymous 473900

Did you know a tit is a small bird? Tell her she has great pelicans.

Anonymous 473901

The school campus has a perpetual pungent stench of semen.

Anonymous 473903

Let go of your preconceptions! Open your mind and then your legs!

Anonymous 474752

using nuclear strikes in response to traffic violations is probably overkill

Anonymous 474838

Drake the type of nigga to go on Pornhub and search "personality"

Anonymous 474847

>>451215
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY PISS KEG"

Anonymous 475387

"Fetish clopfic w/ partial Elephant transformation. I spent forever writing and revising this, so comments and feedback are greatly appreciated."

Anonymous 475506

"The Nazis stuck 25 centimeters of wood up my ass."

Anonymous 475578

Ravioli is how the universe fills a small part of itself with cheese.

Anonymous 475642

"i've seen his true vampire form because we used to erp a lot"

Anonymous 475650

"Why would ya cook toothpaste?"

Anonymous 475651

"They call me the Vincent Van Gogh of the potato farm."

Anonymous 476776

Oh, Jesus Christ. That sperm has a fucking tophat on.

Anonymous 477202

When a fiery hot demoness follows Adam home from a wild Spring Break trip, this ultra-rich playboy's life is turned upside down. The body count is rising as Lilith, hell-bent on payback, uses all her power and passion to exact her revenge. Jam-packed with smokin' hot girls, fast cars and faster jets, this is a sexy mix of obsession and evil that will leave you breathless!

Anonymous 477246

"As you walk inside, you see Flitter's husband, Rain Dancer, giving his boyfriend a blowjob."

Anonymous 477628

"Look, if you can't trust a random self-professed alcoholic on the internet named CumDumpsterFire when he tells you drinking mouthwash isn't that bad for you - who can you trust? "

Anonymous 477918

She got that one extra chromosome face on her

Anonymous 478884

"You've never been close to a man before, have you?"

Anonymous 478905

>Grab cereal, bowl, milk, and spoon
>pour cereal on table
>pour milk on table
>throw spoon and bowl
>pick up the table and tilt it towards my mouth
>calories achieved

Anonymous 479198

Think of a hedgehog, but with dicks instead of spikes.

Anonymous 479200

I thought about the big bang, and wondered if it was really a big bang, or did it just sound louder as there was no other noise to drown it out.

Anonymous 479230

Due to my location, I have no problem scouting good-looking guys with big dicks, beards, and tattoos.

Anonymous 479342

she orders a steak and tells the waiter she "wants the cunt cooked more rare then an abo with a job"

Anonymous 480389

"Can you imagine a honey badger holding you up, with an assault rifle in his hands?"

Anonymous 480536

"Senpai noticed you, don't worry. Senpai also thinks you're an idiot."

Anonymous 480767

Money cant buy you happiness, even if you spend it on increasingly imaginative and diverse ways to tickle your anus.

Anonymous 480792

But if she pisses and vomits in terror, screaming and crying...begging you to stop, begging you not to eat her then acts catatonic after the experience she probably has a genuine dragon phobia.

Anonymous 480802

That would have been delicious, making beef jerky out of your own ballsack.

Anonymous 480803

Uranus sucks.

Anonymous 480886

i have to kill fast, but bullets to slow

Anonymous 481209

You have to ferment the baby.

Anonymous 481245

My SO regularly orgasms with one or both of my fists in his ass.

Anonymous 482570

“It was shocking,” said Smejkal while standing outside the hotel dressed in a red panda animal suit.

Anonymous 482737

"Your generic TIE grunt is just plain suicidal. And the TIE Defender jockey is bloodthirsty. But the TIE Interceptor pilot, he's suicidal and bloodthirsty. When you see a squad of those maniacs flying your way, you'd better hope your hyperdrive is operational."

Anonymous 483479

I’m 54, I love my wife and would only cheat on her if I was absolutely certain she would never find out.

Anonymous 484869

"We have a tentacle stuck through our spacecraft. If that's not strange I don't know what is."

Anonymous 484915

WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE PORK BUN IN YOUR HAND? A MAN WHO NEVER EATS PORK BUN IS NEVER A WHOLE MAN

Anonymous 485165

File: 1419091702868.jpg (23.2 KB, 228x220, Fingerpori Rape.JPG)

Here's a frame from Fingerpori, my all-time favorite comic.

Anonymous 487012

File: 1419256382853.jpg (20.06 KB, 182x174, Fingerpori periods.JPG)

Anonymous 487120

if it ends up being a dildo and you dont put it in your ass Im going to burn the nearest orphanage

Anonymous 487195

"It's like 101 Dalmatians but with shapeshifting bugs"

Anonymous 487257

A little video/sneak peek of my future Korra/Pony crossover fanfiction based on book 4 Balance. The Dazzlings are back and now they have a new ally in Kuvira, and Korra is in for the battle of her life...but first she needs to face her own fears first.

Anonymous 487263

i hope someone pisses on you, unless you are into that, then i hope nobody pisses on you

Anonymous 487531

A penis is kind of like a magic lamp, but instead of a genie popping it out it’s cum.

Anonymous 487980

they're all either complete lunatics worshipping a death bondage cult or worse, conformists.

Anonymous 488643

(Please refrain from reposting elsewhere. These fursonas are not for public use in RP or otherwise, please refrain from using them. Art thieving(using this picture but renaming the fursona(s) to make it/them your own), is strictly forbidden.)

Anonymous 491009

"That cake is needed to stabilize the economy!”

Anonymous 492193

"How can I feel like a woman with my enormous DICK and BALLS banging around when we jog?"

Anonymous 492224

Anonymous 492819

"That's oddly cute. It's a shame it doesn't do anything other than go up your ass."

Anonymous 493488

File: 1420946005830.png (45.27 KB, 119x216, 1416507821160.png)

Anonymous 493632

If you murder a person and then bury them in their own front yard, the police will think it's a suicide.

Anonymous 493882

File: 1421008224279.png (757.1 KB, 3163x2563, Elusive.png)

Everyone bends over backwards for Rarity

Anonymous 493910

>>493882
i want to bear his foals

Anonymous 494095

Turtles and blood everywhere.

Anonymous 494303

Obviously a commentary on the human condition. We're all sex robots. 

Anonymous 494304

You've never made me cum

Anonymous 494329

You are really wet and warm for being a cane before.

Anonymous 494380

It was when she left herself naked that I knew that this was the moment, either I fucked my mom and took a chance of knocking her up or leave the room knowing how much of a stud I was.

Anonymous 494401

>>494329
that comic was pretty hot

Anonymous 494403

>>494380
s-sauce??

Anonymous 494434

File: 1421191882173.jpg (457.78 KB, 1060x1593, why can't I hold all this whip…)

"It's so... small. I think I'll take it."

>>494403
Some porn story on sofurry.

Anonymous 494468

>>479198
I actually know the context for this.

Anonymous 494471

>>494468
I actually can't remember where I found that one. Was it a cap of something?

Anonymous 494472

"Oh, that might be my penis! Look! It's very penis-shaped!"

Anonymous 494473

>>494471
It was from /mlp/. Too batshit insane for me to remember what exactly it was about, but I know the dick-hedgehog was a changeling.

Anonymous 494475

"Santa has a powerful ass."

Anonymous 494506

File: 1421270852393.jpg (210.62 KB, 522x526, Trixie Santa.jpg)

Anonymous 494552

I heard that mares don't have an asshole until they get married.

Anonymous 494560

“If I bring my marefriend for her to grope, will that get my grant approved?”

Anonymous 494561

I read that you are from New York.
You cannot compare relationships in European countries with America.
The main difference is that American men are circumcised.
I believe this affects the man and therefore the relationship between men and women.
Notice that most feminists are Jewish women.

Anonymous 494571

I want to smear you in green paint and spank you like a disobedient avocado.

Anonymous 494589

"Anybody have a pair of glasses they don't need? Trying to learn how to echolocate"

Anonymous 494614

I TAKE 87 FUCKIN' SHITS IN FOUR MINUTES.

Anonymous 494615

>>494614
AS A WOMAN THAT LOVES TAKE SHITS BUT HATES CLEANING UP AFTERWARDS, I USE THE NEVERSCRUBBER AND FLUSH THE TOILET FIVE TIMES... BITCH.

Anonymous 494617

>>494614
YOU'RE ALL FUCKIN' STUPID, YOU'RE ALL FUCKIN' SUCKIN' COCK, WORST OF ALL, YOU'RE UGLY, AND YOU DON'T FUCKIN' THINK I GOT A SET OF TITTIES AND BEEEEEEEER

Anonymous 494620

>>494614
>>494617
I'M FUCKING, TEN TIMES WORSE THAN AIDS

Anonymous 495092

Man found screaming "My legs are okay"

Anonymous 496210

"The next time a man call you a fucking faggot, you get in that ass, Larry! You hear me? You get in that as, Larry. That's what you fucking do."

"You pull that asshole open, step into their asshole, and close the door behind you. You take a spraypaint can, right? 'Larry was here.' You spraypaint, 'Larry was here. Wash me," all that kind of shit. Fuck his whole asshole up, eating snickers bars, throwing paper on the floor, read a newspaper, ball the paper up, the newspaper, and throw the newspaper on the floor, fuck his whole asshole up, you know what I'm saying? Then you open that asshole one more time, open it again, open that asshole again! Step out of his ass and leave that motherfucker wide open, so he knows you've been there."

Anonymous 496211

This gave me a fetish for splinters in sensitive areas.

Anonymous 496358

From my mother, I had learned that although all noble ladies must be virgins when they first wed, it did not mean they must be strangers to pleasure. And in that duty I served my queen well and willingly since before we had been women.

496359

File: 1421879756103.jpg (22.84 KB, 480x360, going blind.jpg)

Anonymous 496392

File: 1421902369722.png (1.95 MB, 946x1264, 1416623224376.png)

Anonymous 496396

As you can see by his spherical shoulder testicles and extended dickneck, he is really a poorly disguised shlong.

Anonymous 496512

Not every day you get kicked in the head by your own womb.

Anonymous 496592

If I ever have sex with a man, it'll be a man who remembers the gum.

And, not that it matters... also black.

Anonymous 496624

It smells so good...so why does it taste so bad?

Anonymous 497226

The butt plug continued to dwell in the pot indefinably.

Anonymous 497357

Tonight you'll be sleeping with grandma!

Anonymous 500270

She watches trinity tests on loop to orgasm

Anonymous 500271

Never mind that this girl had often defined her day’s eating—and, by extension, herself—as “good” and “bad,” that she approached life the way she took her salad dressing, always on the side and never really touched.

Anonymous 500286

granted, but the hovercraft is full of territorial and vicious cats.

Anonymous 500530

You’re fucking your armpit and it feels divine

Anonymous 500607

Moms can have dicks too

Anonymous 500663

It is Anon's right testicle. It keeps falling off.

Anonymous 501840

And then there was the matter of time: Einstein and Oppenheimer, the theory of relativity, and the conundrum of big balls in your face! It was all a continuum, like one long winding turd, snaking it's way through the universe.

Anonymous 501912

He's always first on my list: 1. Leonardo DiCaprio 2. eggs 3. Doritos 4. Toilet paper

Anonymous 501920

That song has, like, minus one-hundred swag points now.

Anonymous 502128

Please shoot my sister inside me dad <3

Anonymous 502140

I'm also not a racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people

Anonymous 502174

As he entered his mother was too enthralled to notice, hands fiddling with herself as she watched the home video of her son and his girlfriend.

Anonymous 502602

How can you waifu your daughter if she's not sapient?

Anonymous 502721

Yeah. I told her I was gonna fuck her with a rake. Next thing I know, we're going to get beers.

wish me luck

Anonymous 502933

You are going to pilot your crotch rocket into my black hole and you are going to like it!

Anonymous 502936

"Condoms are the best part of a healthy, nutritious meal."

Anonymous 502960

Twilight Sparkle is a one-kilogram pony the size of a large rat

Anonymous 503046

How do you get through life with names like Dick Wolf and Speed Weed?

Anonymous 503966

Beatings will cease once morale has improved.

Anonymous 503997

The very walls shook with the magical energy released from the orgy.

Anonymous 504016

The sensation was quite soothing; almost like fondling a squishy, cum-filled stress ball.

Anonymous 504112

Their internal organs made excellent dildos as I remember.

Anonymous 504458

The Bible makes me so horny, I wish I could suck Jesus's dick while he was on the cross.

Anonymous 504505

Yeah, destroying bread-based desserts is also my fetish.

Anonymous 504714

File: 1424394371417.jpg (Spoiler Image,315.33 KB, 1280x1146, Twidash humanoid wasn't even t…)

Anonymous 505051

This duck just staring at crotches is really unsettling.

thony phone 505059

billy eichner ‏@billyeichner · 1h1 hour ago
Just a gentle reminder that it's too fucking cold and I hate everything.

Anonymous 505097

Got my granddaughter to castrate my disloyal illegitimate son. He then murdered her later on in revenge of his mutilation. So I had him assassinated.

Welcome back family tree, you're better than ever.

Anonymous 506346

ONII-CHAN, NO!! DON'T PEE IN MY ASS!!!

Anonymous 506429

At this point, your mentally-retarded son, affectionately named Short Bus, starts screwing your 95-year-old mother doggy style.

Anonymous 506435

>>506346
As if context was needed for this. Pissing in a chicks ass has always been a fantasy of mine.

Anonymous 506564

Accidentally shitting on your dick? (self.bigdickproblems)

Anonymous 506876

Do robots have grandmas that make them soup?

Anonymous 506888

its supposed to say "shit" but this is the clean version of the song so it makes an ear fucking sound with no warning

Anonymous 506890

Um rainbow dash became singel and rainbow blitz is rainbow is big brother there no like gf or bf bf can be for boy friend

Anonymous 506928

If you cum first I will scream rape

Anonymous 507927

Now I’m no expert at horse anatomy, but I’m pretty sure their entire body isn’t taken up by a vagina.

Anonymous 507928

Your resistance only makes my penis harder.

Anonymous 507942

Nigga you wack as hell you seem like the type of person who Jack off to spongebob bitch look at your own self before you talk about someone bitch I bet you a hoe ass virgin you ain't never even seen a pussy except on pornhub you pussy ass nigga no duh you ugly ass he'll why you wanna say some no duh bitch 

Anonymous 508093

This name was christened to me by God, Jesus, and the Bear Conductor.

Anonymous 508127

If Oscar Wilde had had access to youporn.com this is definitely the book he would have written.

Anonymous 508172

Police searched Kreft’s apartment and found marijuana, though they did not find any horse porn.

Anonymous 508200

People can go to Macy's, then set fire to Grandma over here. Excelent!

Anonymous 508204

I don't negotiate with potatoes

Anonymous 508205

I want to go onto a roof so I can poopoo onto a gay nigger laying in the grass while being publically exposed when this music plays!

Sagara Sousuke!PANIC/UaVo 508320

File: 1425750618987.png (91.95 KB, 327x276, Out of context.png)

Anonymous 508324

Bonus ducks! And if you pick up ducks you get more points!

Anonymous 509192

Take me to a museum. Kiss me on the lips. Shove the Mona Lisa up my ass

Anonymous 509202

You put your nanopaste all over my buttcheeks!

Anonymous 509213

"I can't hear you very well, could you please speak directly into the vagina?"

Anonymous 509214

This is scientifically impossible, but it's making me so wet...

Anonymous 509442

We've made such great strides. Even 100 years ago they made kids wear straightjackets to bed and spiked cock rings.

Anonymous 509685

I can only get off to tentacles if they're non-consensually assisting women with their hygiene.

Anonymous 509694

I can see myself... emptying my bowels... onto the pizza...

Anonymous 510176

The day /mlp/ saved their waifus by making the shooter murder his own pants.

Anonymous 510297

That nigga got them big ears like... Bambi.

Anonymous 510300

you can always tell a good deep-sea creature by how much pain/pleasure it would cause you by sticking your dick in it

Anonymous 510307

He can still suck your soul out of your vagina.

Anonymous 511647

And now also listened to his dad suggesting to have sexy times with Scarlett Johansson.. i mean i would.. Scarlett sit on my face pls

Anonymous 511832

I sexually identify as an FIM-92 Stinger anti-aircraft missile. My sole erotic fantasy is to explode inside an attack helicopter with such force that their physical vessel is utterly consumed by the intensity of my fiery passion.

Anonymous 511833

>>511832
This is the greatest quote ever.

Anonymous 511857

LEONARDO DICAPRIO DID NOT PAINT THE FUCKING MONA LISA YOU RETARD

Anonymous 511863

I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING BUT ONII-CHAN'S DICK WHEN I'M TAKING A SHIT! MY BUTT GETS ALL TINGLY! I'M SUCH A LEWD TSUKASA!

Anonymous 512297

HE HAS NO STYLE, HE HAS NO GRACE. THIS KONG HAS ELEPHANTITUS

Anonymous 512304

File: 1427851995141.jpg (12.2 KB, 460x241, o fuck.jpg)

Anonymous 512370

"Haha! Now I have your weapons AND an orgasm in my butt!"

Anonymous 512371

It's not arson if I'm on the SWAT team, this is America.

Anonymous 512472

Try to imagine what dirty talk would sound like in Breezie language.

Anonymous 512477

>>512472
"I'm fair and squarely fucked."

Anonymous 512482

no matter how much you want to look like a tough guy, picking your nose with a loaded MAC-10 is still a bad idea.

Anonymous 512487

How do you know Link doesn't identify as a woman?! Stop being Transphobic!

Anonymous 512567

ARE YOU AWARE THAT I FUCK DEMON FORTRESSES?

Anonymous 512575

THAT WAS A PERFECTLY GOOD CAKE UNTIL YOU PUT YOUR FUCKING FAT ASS ON IT YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Anonymous 512584

I don't think fucking a blood sucking parasite is something we want to do.

Anonymous 512586

>hotter and hotter grows your prick
>you whammy it into twilights ear
>nothing
>she's clean

Anonymous 513019

Anonymous 513054

I can't tell you how many times I've walked in on my gf doing my stepmother in the kitchen.

Anon­ymous 513082

I just had a thundering orgasm.

Anonymous 513085

"Hey, you've got balls. Metaphorically speaking. Please don't grow actual balls."

Anonymous 513087

My girlfriend is an 1975 AMC Gremlin, and we are soul-mates.

Anonymous 513351

WHY WOULD YOU PUSH AN ARROW DEEPER INTO THE WOUND TO REMOVE IT I KNOW YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BATTLEFIELD MEDICINE BUT RAMMING SOMETHING POINTY INTO YOUR ORGANS DOES NOT MAKE THE WOUND BETTER IT MAKES YOU DIE FASTER.

Anonymous 513488

Use a speculum to separate the anus, then just pull the broom out.

Anonymous 513527

If I had knowledge that the U.S. government had a picture of my dick, I would be very pissed off.

Anonymous 513554

If you claim to be a feminist but have never seen godzilla fight the dark lord cthulu, you are not a feminist

Anonymous 513688

This is even more anime and terrible than most of the explicit art on here.

Anonymous 513696

I'm willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up

Anonymous 513745

Aliens don't believe in capitalism, they are clearly imperialists

Anonymous 513766

>When we checked the asphalt pile for ieds we found a rubber chicken.

Anonymous 514354

>HE NEEDS TO BE STARING AT MY ASS
>HOW ELSE WILL HE LOVE ME

Anonymous 514551

"15 up-minutes? That's almost as long as it'd take to find another reality of hobos!"

Anonymous 514581

How can my S.W.A.T. unit possibly be this cute?

Anonymous 514592

>You know you want her soft, silky clothes, fresh from her butt.

Anonymous 514604

>Need to find our sister
>She probably lost as well
>Touch yourself, thinking about her

Anonymous 514612

File: 1429053705703.png (867.9 KB, 1300x1700, 1429053554023-2.png)

Anonymous 514687

Have you ever anally penetrated a rhino with a small car? I have.

Anonymous 514689

The DJ, who I know is definitely for real, interrupts me by falling onto my seat, leaning over me as she straddles my pelvis. Her hands rest on the top of the booth wall, supporting her as she moves her face towards mine. The very tips of our muzzles touch. “Are you going to keep denying the existence of the almighty Vinyl Scratch?”

Anonymous 514741

it turns out all that sedate studiousness he thought was his personality was actually the calm before the dick storm.

Anonymous 514785

Somebody stabbed you with your own arm!

Anonymous 514816

File: 1429398077231.png (3.39 MB, 1920x1080, 1429397900127.png)

Anonymous 514996

>/v/ - Scientific studies of Samus' Ass, 7 days a week, 24 hours per day

Anonymous 515206

Santa's brother is here in your area causing mass hysteria.

Anonymous 515516

This is pretty awesome. The dicks look a ton better here.

Anonymous 515669

Can you jerk off please while I drive? It just inspires me.

Anonymous 515682

I really appreciate you sucking my dick, but I need to do my taxes

Anonymous 515696

gimme some dat sonata boi, and I'll give ya a microwave oven

Anonymous 515701

i wish i could have my genitals shitposting on the internet while i sleep...

Anonymous 515702

Sometimes your ovaries just need check their email.

Anonymous 515703

he massaged her breasts with a level of fascination, usually only achieved after taking class-A drugs.

Anonymous 515704

She nodded as best she could, given she was deepthroating herself.

Anonymous 515716

"Oh god, I'm giving birth, your fucked me into labor and now my baby is coming out as you fill me with more seed."

Anonymous 515719

They're wearing helicopters on their feet and that helps them get up mountains.

Anonymous 515753

Guess this is why you don't stick a fucking glass rod in your dick.

Anonymous 515800

I'm fire. Time to pour more gasoline!

Anonymous 515802

You're just jealous because you don't rape children!

Anonymous 515817

I don't want to make this awkward man, but you don't have nipples.

Anonymous 515842

ROCK HARD DICKS, next on ABC Family!


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